Promote Harmony in relationships: Astrological Insights in love life

Last Updated on June 19, 2025 by Tejaswini

In life, we get to choose only one relationship, ie the spouse, the others are by default. And marriage, is supposed to be a life time thing. But today, that people often refuse to honour this promise and couples opt for a legal divorce at the first sign of serious disagreement.

In Sanatan Dharma there is no concept of a divorce. Sanskrit, the original language of this universe has no word for ‘divorce’. Vivah is a Sanskar, ie marriage is the right action which helps in creating the right form, Samyak Aakar. Marriage changes us on all levels, the physical, emotional, mental and also family, social, financial etc levels. Marriage is solemnised in the presence of the Sun in the skies and the Agni/fire lit before the couple. These two are the eternal witnesses. After getting married, the couple is supposed to behave with each other as per Dharma. Marriage is a bond created with mantra, intention and energy which breaks only with the physical death of one of the two. It exactly the ‘till death so us part’ in English.

The energy of the sanskar is a lifetime thing so choose your spouse wisely. In case it does not work out the legal option of a divorce is always available. But the legal divorce cannot change the energies back to the earlier form. So whenever you decide to get married, use your common sense. Young men and women are vulnerable to emotional behaviour or can also be influenced by black magic. So consult with your family, do the background checks etc be reasonably sure before committing. Checking the zodiac compatibility and using astrological principles in making this decision is also an option.

(In ancient times, a woman had an additional freedom. If her parents did not arrange a match for her within 3 yrs of her puberty, she was free to choose a spouse for herself. Earlier, puberty was around 17yrs of age.)

I have seen several young couples getting carried away by excitement of romance. They rarely check social compatibility, family compatibility nor their personal energy compatibility. They think that the first frisson of excitement is enough for a life time commitment. This first spark is the function of the 5^th house. Balanced affection in partnerships is a function of the 7^th house. Genuine respect in a marriage is possible if both have a strong sense of Dharma, ie their life foundations are strong. This means that the 9^th house has to be strong. This encourages mature partnership, discourages straying, grants auspicious children and a place in the society. These three houses contribute to the stability of the marriage at various stages.

One tip is to note the dynamics of the 9^th house with the 1^st and 5^th houses. Check if in the birth horoscope or in some typical Dasha the 1^st and 5^th houses get more power over the 9^th. In this time frame, the self ego and the individual personality has the potential to overpower the partnership. Any triggers during this time, may encourage that person to opt for a legal divorce at the first sign of disagreement. Observe your clients, note how their interpersonal relationships change with transits and dashas, sometimes quite dramatically.

We are human and function best when we love and are loved in return. But the world we live in belongs more to Mercury. It is dominated by superficial communications, need-to-know’s, calculative behaviour, shallow personalties, it is something like a perpetual adolescence. We interact with several people, but ony through our screens. We send this emoji 🤗 to so many people but when was the last time we really hugged someone we genuinely love? Even the family we are born in, our parents, grandparents and siblings are emotional strangers to us.

Mercury is ably supported by Rahu in this. Deceptions, illusions and a desire to consume it all. And even before we deceive others, we deceive our own selves. We project a persona different from what we really are, then get trapped in this image. We do not have the time to invest in genuine relationships. Desiring new excitements, new heights of pleasure, we confuse deep ‘love’ and temporary ‘lust’. After getting married, we often pin our entire expectation of ‘perfect love’ on just this one person. We forget that the spouse is also human. And it is unrealistic to expect him or her to be perfect, always.

What do you really expect when you say that you want to be ‘loved’? This is a need to be loved. So open your horoscope. How do you need to be loved? Let’s analyse this using the astrological concepts we have studied till now.

www.psychologicallyastrology.com

Emotional expectations

Analyse the Moon to get a sense of your emotional expectations. How do you ‘feel’? Are you a generally happy person, able to find your happiness within you? Or is your internal happiness dependant on external influences? The Moon is your lens of perceptions, the clearer it is, the more Light gets in.

So check which house is he placed in? e.g. If he is located in the dushamsthan i.e. 6^th house 8^th house or the 12^th house, (3^rd is typical can go both ways) he is not comfortable and under stress. The agents of this house will disturb your sense of emotional security. So here the ideal solution is to train your Mind to take up a ‘mantra’ – a habit which helps you emotionally separate from the stressful situation. eg for 6th Moon it can be cleaning up your room or at least a few minutes spent organising your desk. For a 8th Moon it can be going to the gym or doing a few minutes of pranayam. Or for a 12th Moon it can be some time spent alone with nature or a few minutes with a potted plant.

But if he is placed in a ‘good’ house’, – 1^st 2^nd 4^th 5^th 7^th 9^th 10^th and even the 11^th, the things, activities and people represented by these houses always offer you emotional support. If you are feeling down, actively seek out these people/ things and feel your mood improve.

Then which sign is he occupying? Is he exalted or debilitated? Is he in the sign of a friend or enemy planet? The keywords represented by this sign, how do they influence your emotional states?

Which planets are influencing him, aspecting him or conjoint with him? Moon does not consider any planet to be his enemy but Rahu, Ketu, Mercury, Venus and Saturn and their agents tend to ‘dislike’ the Moon and make him uncomfortable. Such a Mind can be more easily stressed out.

So first is to analyse your emotional states, introspect a bit. Try to be aware of what can potentially disturb you and what can comfort you on the deepest emotional levels. If you do this, half the battle is won. Use this information mindfully in your life. If you do feel agitated, think on why this is happening and do something about it proactively. Do not wallow in sadness, do not sit there like a lump. Make efforts to get out of the emotional situation you find yourself in. Meet up with those people who can help you recover your emotional stability. Eg. if the Moon is in the 4^th house then talk to some motherly figure you know.

www.psychologicallyastrology.com

The individual personality

Do this same exercise with your ascendant sign and the owner of the ascendant sign. Get a sense of your personality from your ascendant sign. And your ascendant lord will tell you how well adjusted you are to your environment and how supportive your environment is for you. Do you have the ability to change your surroundings as per your taste? i.e is the force of personality strong enough? Or do you adapt yourself to meet the requirements of your surroundings? There are no right or wrong, this is just a self analysis to know how you behave in situations. Use astrology systemically to understand your personality and the best use you can put it into. Thus you will be able to manage in every situation and stand up for yourself and your rights in a reasonable way.

I have seen several clients, where young women expect their husbands to be gentlemen and honour them just because they are women. I have seen several men traumatised by unreasonable behaviour of their wives. And also seen men and women both being brainwashed, forced to follow their wife’s/ husband’s religion, culture and lifestyle. Inequality and stress in a marriage leading to its eventual breakdown. This often happens when the basic personality is not confident, the ascendant sign/ lord is afflicted.

The preferred partner

Check out the 7th house from your ascendant. This is your mirror, the one person/ idea/ concept/ energy which fills your blanks in every way. Analyse the sign, its owner, its occupant/ aspecting planets. Know what you are looking for really. Be prepared for a surprise here. Most of us think of partner in terms of physical relationships. But a mirror/partner is much much more than that. It can even be an idea or your spiritual practice, an activity, or even a deity. The 7th house counted from the birth Moon sign similarly analysed will give you the emotional expectation that you have from this one special concept who is your beloved.

To summarise, the current life is short, it is always going to be less than what you would really want it to be. So try your best to live your life. Make your choices wisely and once you commit do try to follow up the best you can. But, and this is important, do not try too hard to bear what is unbearable.

Dr. Tejaswini Arvind Patil

67 responses to “Marriages divorces and your need to be loved”

Shiyam Marooz

February 24, 2024

Great insight. 1,5,9 house concept can aid in understanding the depths of the 3D (Body, Mind and Soul) and how it will impact the relationship. Thank you 🙏

Hayls

February 24, 2024

This is such an important topic that really isnt discussed enough. I know of a woman who stayed with her husband despite his constant cheating. He treated her very well otherwise but he could not stay loyal ( cancer asc and cancer moon- very typical traits). She had been told from every astrologer/psychic she went to that her marriage to this man was strongly fated and if she left this marriage, she would not find another husband after. She stayed for the sake of her children and because she didnt want to be alone. He did change eventually, but not until years later after the emotional damage to her and the marriage was already done.

I sometimes I still struggle understanding that fine line between what actually is our free will vs what is fated. If you’re fated to be with a certain person, fated to have children with them, how can it be avoided ultimately?

astrologerbydefault

February 24, 2024

Hi there
weak moon, weak ascendent. lack of decision making ability and the underlying fear.
the person continues to bear what is actually unbearable.

there is always a choice. always. we are humans, we have the power to think, create options and choose.

finally it all depends on how much you value your own self.

Reply
1. Vedika
  
  February 26, 2024
  
  Mam great post.
  Love your all blog.
  Want remedies of rahu 7 libra
  Ketu sun 1 house Aries .
  Unmarried
2. astrologerbydefault
  
  February 26, 2024
  
  Hi there
  use the index. i have written about several remedies – food, mantra, color, items for donation
  
  https://psychologicallyastrology.com/index/
  
  http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/02/20/the-sure-shot-solution-to-prosperity/
  
  and refer to your regular astrologer for personal readings.

Ash

February 25, 2024

Thought provoking post.. Life is short, and marriage is one of the most important decisions that one takes. But people grow and grow differently in time. Your spouse might turn spiritual when the dashes change and neglect their duties .. or the wives may put all their focus on kids when they come. Still people stick around for the sake of not breaking apart the unit and affecting the kids, or the simple economics of it or the realization that there is no better alternative that is waiting for them.
It is one thing to feel like “living your life”, but the reality is often different. There are ties, responsibilities and potential fallouts that keeps one where they are. And I am speaking from lived experience.

“Do not try to bear what is unbearable” – my 2cents hers is that what seems unbearable today will be bearable tomorrow. The emotional pain and suffering is perceived differently. And I am not talking about the cases of outright abuse by one or both the parties. But referring to the things that seem unacceptable one day and once you gain more information or perspective, they seem understandable or more bearable.

It is already a rambling post. One can argue about both sides of the arguments. Few recent cases like the Goa mom, the Kanpur mom, the New Jersey family and the San Mateo family cases .. all lead me to think it is better to break the bond and walk away rather than allow things to become worse.

astrologerbydefault

February 25, 2024

Hi there
read the entire post and the comment in context. do not pull out just one thing from the post out of context.

you are speaking from personal experience, i assume you are an upper middle class at least.
and what you are reading in the newspapers.

i am writing from the experience of thousands of charts, my grandmother’s clients, my father’s clients, my clients.
plus my grandfather and mom were very well known practicing lawyers.
i have seen that entire scene, from dowry deaths, burning the daughter in laws, harassment at the hands of in-laws, multiple marriages, abandoned children.. humans can be very cruel.
we never charged money for astrology, that was our giving back to the society.
and my mom never charged her lawyers fees from poor people who showed up at our home every evening. that was her giving back to the society.
can u imagine what goes on the slums the so-called lower middle class, the multiple marriage religion?
do not think that your relatively comfortable life is all that really is.

do not get so attached to your husband or wife if the situation has gone beyond control and there is danger to the mind/life of the self and the children.

Reply
1. Ash
  
  February 25, 2024
  
  Thank you for taking time to reply, and sharing your family history. Lawyers are maligned sometimes but they are a very important cog to keep the justice system “just”.
  
  I am agreeing with you.. humans can be very cruel.
  
  “Few recent cases like the Goa mom, the Kanpur mom, the New Jersey family and the San Mateo family cases” – these are all cases where the partners could have chosen to walk away from a bad marriage and at least be alive once outside of it. But sadly they chose a violent end.
  
  I count myself in upper-middle class, and yes my world-view is colored by my life situations in ways that I do not even know. What I do know that there is a strong desire in people to experience everything, and have more focus on hedonistic pursuits – a Zindagi na mileage dobara philosophy that puts strains on relationships and building things over time. Social media highlights the glamorous side of life. There is lesser emphasis on sacrifice and adjustment than before ( imho ).
  TY for all that you do.

Alice

February 25, 2024

Hi ma’am, thank you for your post. I have moon in 12th in bhava chalit and 1st in rasi – I’ve observed myself being able to correct my own behaviors (such as stammering speeches) in stressful situations after learning to see from Conscious versus mind.

I’ve also checked your Youtube channel as well, which I’m excited to see your future videos.

Maybe one esoteric question.

Thanks to your blog, Dhyan has allowed me to being able to see things from the Conscious perspective in my waking life. Without sounding egotistic or condescending in anyway, I feel like there’s also this growing yearning for moksha. There is this constant subtle dissatisfaction of what people think is important in life: money, fame, relationships, power. I also don’t wish to generate any further karma, both directly and indirectly. I naturally monitor my actions to prevent direct karma, such as eating satvik whenever possible, don’t actively harm, transitioning from low to high vibration emotions and thoughts, being content with my spiritual progression in life. Stillness.

There’s also this fire in me that wants to self-improve materially through gaining achievements, prestige, money, social approval. This side loves competition and career improvement, goes through very deep emotions when involved in material things (not to hurt others, but for material self-improvement) Which I believe further entangle myself with more karma.

These two sides clashes like fire and water: I’m not sure how to find a middle ground between them (if it is even possible at all). I feel like I am too young to be going through this. From a material/Maya point of view, I feel like I shouldn’t have gone through this at this age. I’m not sure why it has to be me out of most people.

The question is, with self-realization and hope toward liberation, is it even possible for one to not generate karma due to this incarnation’s material goals? In other words, does one have to give up everything in order to be free from attachment and karma? I always try to gain through clean intentions and no harm meaning toward anyone, but generating indirect harm toward other people is something that has been on my mind.

Thank you for your valuable insights as always. My apologies for such a loaded question as I know you can be quite busy.

astrologerbydefault

February 25, 2024

Hi there
Moksh is a state of the intelligence /spirituality. where you know that you are everything and everything is you.
on the intellectual level its the same. so the ‘good’ ‘bad’ ‘material’ ‘spiritual’ etc all duality does not really exist.

eg a glass of poison and a glass of prasadam – both are at their very core the same eternal intelligence.
but on the material level. poison will kill the body. and prasadam will increase positivity.

so the essence of Moksh is this
determine your Lakshya/ focus.
work hard for this in the inner level – you have to hone your intelligence
give yourself time for this – maybe 1hr daily. read, do Dhyan, go to temple, write, etc.
it is a difficult journey as the pure intelligence has to be trained to think in the correct logical direction.

but this does not mean that you lose all emotions, become a robot.
Swami Abhinavgupta’s writing on Rasa, essence of emotion is the best way of explaining this.

and in the remaining 23hrs – do what you are supposed to do – ie be as the householder – office, home, spouse, children, parents, etc.
but as you do all this, remember that this is your duty.
it is by the blessings of your deity/ guru that you have this chance to work out your karmic bindings etc and get free.
so do it with mindfully and not with negativity.
if you add negativity to all this, or even get addicted it will create karmic bindings.
it is a fine line, walking on the razor’s edge.

my Guru says ‘Savadhanta’ ie eternal alertness is ‘Sadhana’ ie the achievement.

Reply
1. Alice P.
  
  February 26, 2024
  
  Hi ma’am, thank you for the guidance.

sharshala

February 25, 2024

Namaste mam,
I would like to know about the “Chidra Dasha,the closure part3”. In Saturn mahadasha (with Jupiter antardasha) a substantial karma has been worked out and Jupiter tries to navigate the person to better place. Yet in Mercury mahadasha ,6th lord “karmic load you have taken in this life”….this line made me suprise and shock. So , if Mercury, 6th lord is placed in Leo with 5th lord, is my below understanding correct, in Mercury Mahadasha?
1. Mercury, though 6th lord is guided by Aatmakaraka Sun, in 5th house, But….the karmic loads will consume purva punya.
2. Person should start collecting punya, to help navigate the life, else there is depreciation caused by 6th lord karma load.
3. Sun represents Vishnu, Mercury represents Vishnu, so Vishnu Pooja will show a path?
4. Since 6th house is Virgo, doing selfless social works for females will help the person.

Is there anything major that I should also consider here, mam?

astrologerbydefault

February 25, 2024

Hi there
seems well thought out.
however see it in the context of the entire chart,
ref back to past incidents which can help confirm the reading.

Reply
1. sharshala
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Namaste mam,
  Is punya linked only by deeds we do. Or can punya be accumulated by other ways like thinking, dreaming, seeing, chanting…..when I write these, I realise that they are action (deeds again). Mam can you help me know the importance of punya. For a human being like me which ways I can accumulate punya? I’m sorry if I disturbed you by this question.
  
  Deeds can be good for me and for others it can be no-so-good (ex. If i do lots of Pooja and excercise, it’s good for me, but the other person(may be close relatives, friends, etc) might have a say that I am wasting time, I could have done some household work or some office work)
  Emotionally I was fine , now when others comment, I think, and may be manipulated and may reduce the amount of Pooja and excercise, will it reduce the rate of accumulating punya?
  
  Mantra and daan do they add to punya or do they help to remove the doshas ?
2. astrologerbydefault
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Hi there
  karma can be kayik, manasik, vachik, physical, mental, speech.
  Your intention at the time of doing that karma decides the course.
  karma will give its fruit – punya or paap
  your own conscience /Antaratma is the judge and the enforcer of the law of karma.
  
  A murders his brother B for property – A is going to get paap karmaphal. B, if he was attached to the property at the instant of his death, will most likely turn into a entity who will torment A for this. or B will take a rebirth in a way so that he gets the property in some future life.
  
  A is a soldier, who is defending his nation. he who kills B the soldier of the invading nation.
  here A will get punya karmaphal and B will get veergati.
  
  every mantra is done with a sankalp.
  you decide what to do with the energy.
3. sharshala
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  So ,punya is decided by the intention of why I did the action.
  And whether it’s punya or not is decided by my SELF. Thank you, I understand.
  This similiar example you quoted me for not attaching to future karmas. Emotions and intellectually working from inside. Future karma is again punya and paapa based. So I should not desire punya also. To reach to Moksha, no punya is needed, is it? Whom do Moksha choose? Infact I started reading Bhagavadh Geeta, am still in Arjuna vishada yoga.
  
  Mantra and daan produces energies, now for what I used, depends on intention. So doing Mantra and Daan, Pooja, are always first started with sankalpa in the vrat -books. Thank you.
  
  I just am at verge of closure of Saturn Chidra Dasha, I endured many lessons, situations, now the upcoming Mercury Dasha ,being my 6th lord is packed with karmic loads again. After him is Ketu(Saturn nakshatra), he is with my Lagnesha(mercury nakshatra)in 8th. I read about asc. Lord with ketu-post.
  
  I see that I do good when alone but am filled with errors when I stick to somebody by any form of relationships ( personal, official…including the Pooja/mantra) coz the Bhadakesha is positioned exalted at 7th place and 7th lord is positioned debilitated at 6th. The post “oils for massage and other remedies” suggest, to feed white cow for 7th place disturbance, finding and accessing white GOMATA is tough here. Can I chant shukra mantra for betterment here? Or what can I do to strengthen my 7th place of relationships, coz looks like problem is with me!
4. astrologerbydefault
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Hi there
  https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/02/20/the-sure-shot-solution-to-prosperity/
  
  works all the time and for everything.
5. sharshala
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Thank you very much mam. I had read this post and was chanting the Sri Sukta too, don’t know when I stopped it. Thank you for the guidance. Mam, is it essential that every mantra, Pooja, daana should have intention or sankalpa. If I do a jaap without intention, is it worng. OR will the energies be saved with me and I can use it, at extreme situation for my well being from difficult situation?
6. astrologerbydefault
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Hi there
  you can do it without a conscious sankalp, in this case the deity/ your inner self will choose what is best for you for your spiritual path.
  but this may not be always be palatable to your conscious mind. so do this only if you are very sure that your mind can absorb whatver comes as Ishwarprasad
7. sharshala
  
  February 28, 2024
  
  Thank you mam, today I felt like Satsang. Thank you for this feeling.

Rishi

February 25, 2024

Hi Tejaswini Ji,

This is really such an important post.

Then again there are so many. Combust planets, Rahu Ketu axis, vedant & tantra…. So so many.

But this is at my deepest core. I too have very strong spiritual passion, a vibrant dharmic flame.

Should we be honest about our Laksh? Take it in layers

That drive to do Sadhanas, write create incredible expositions, achieve some fame, do for my parents, train martially and well sexually as well

It’s a big deal, I simply cannot suppress things and it’s not even a good path.

Can I/ should I accept that each of these areas is important and make plans accordingly.

I also ask because I’m preparing for an important Sadhana next week and this coming week is vital to clean out. I’m all of a sudden going really wild, I don’t wanna lose energies related to the gupt Navratri recently.

But this is an ongoing theme. From readings there is the frustration, longing, but very much intertwined with possibly past life betrayals, I dunno, and a longing for love. I’m Taurus but that opposite Scorpio stuff from your posts was like…. What!! Was quite spot on.

I’ve heard spirituality sexuality as two sides of a coin. I’d like to make them spin together and not be opposed.

Sorry I hope I can make myself clearer but these areas are so messy.

astrologerbydefault

February 25, 2024

Hi there
you have to be honest and clear about what you want. only then can the universe /your deity/ your own self/ your intelligence show you the way to reach it.

you are unable to frame your thoughts in the language of your choice.
this means that you are not clear about them yourself.

Reply

Rishi

February 25, 2024

Yeah, you are quite right.

I did some work to identify the core things and I got there.

Few areas, which I wrote poems around to capture it.

But to the extent that – THAT! is what I want…..I got some work to do.

I’m gonna look at my intentions again and try to refine them further. There are a few things, but that’s quite significant – it’s a few things not dozens, and those things actually encompass other stuff.

Thank you.

Was much more at home discussing global historical trends, ancient mysterious symbolism and futuristic scientific trends to work out the significance of the colour Green!….than answering clearly “what do I want??” lol

* on a lighter note, or should I say darker! 80-90% of my clothes are black grey dark, I do actually like black but still

I got a deep green pull over hoodie (other was grey) and other t shirts, and will slowly start ‘diversifying’ a bit 🙂

astrologerbydefault

February 26, 2024

Hi there
keep working on yourself, you know yourself best.

Reply

Rishi

February 27, 2024

Tejaswini Ji,

I am doing some further work and would like to use my chart to help.

I actually have over half the Graha in 6, 8, 12

I’ve come to understand it’s not “good”, but there are always hidden gifts and also a lot of the trouble may have, actually has been expressed during very troubling years.

Actually Rahu and Ascendant are here.

The thing is even on the Keywords, houses 8 and 12 – feel quite similar.

And I feel they are very linked. Independently, like two parallel streams.

But as in ‘How’ do I go about really examining this ‘triangle’, Trik I believe.

Your Rahu Mahadasha post was incredible, like the others lol!

But again 8 – 12, seem very similar based on your index, closer than any 2 other houses.

The unconscious, routes into the subconscious.

Can you direct me to simple means by which a non-Jyotish master can do a decent analysis and get insights?

Thank you 🙂

astrologerbydefault

February 27, 2024

Hi there

http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/08/21/start-learning-astrology-systematically/

Reply

Rishi

February 28, 2024

Thank you,

I had seen that post but thought you meant you must read all the books – to start! Then 3 years to learn properly.

I guess you meant if you wanna be a high level quality astrologer.

But a foundation can be done and one’s own important points can be identified, plus our own life experiences reflected on.

It starts really with your suggestion of the key words, themes of various signs, houses and planets.

Could you just elucidate the areas of focus, or what order it would happen.

= 5 house, sun, sign of Aries….. house, planet, sign order?

I.e. Houses – are the areas in life which these things will be related to, Planets have a nature which can be understood, even thought the stories

But the signs could said to be what – the expression of the result or something??

****

As mentioned I said your 8th and 12th house descriptions seemed somewhat similar, but I guess the nature of those houses is I just delve in and intuit the difference lol 🙂

astrologerbydefault

February 28, 2024

Hi there
the signs are Rashi, collection of attributes.

in my personal opinion, half knowledge creates more issues than solutions.

Reply

Sakshi

February 28, 2024

Madam ji

While doing vishnu manthra is there any restriction that it should be done in moring or dayvtime …like srisuktha? And is it applicable to navagraha also like budh manthra?

astrologerbydefault

February 28, 2024

Hi there
for manasik jaap there are absolutely no restrictions. you can think of your mantra while brushing your teeth if you want to.
coz manasik jaap comes under upasana kaand.

but for the other types of jaap, and karmakaand there are rules.

Reply

Jinesh k

February 29, 2024

Hello

Srisukhtam should recite/play only on daytime?

Regards

astrologerbydefault

February 29, 2024

Hi there
For mental recitation u can do it whenever.

Reciting it or doing any karmakaand activity with it is frm sunrise to sunset.

Reply

Alice

February 29, 2024

Hi ma’am, a follow up from my comment.

I reviewed your post on Jupiter-Venus aspect, and I realized I have this combination loosely in D9: ~25 degrees away instead of 15 (Meena Venus+Ketu opposites vargottama Simha Jupiter).

Perhaps it explains why a lot of my problems that I have asked you throughout your website. The struggle with materialism and spiritual journey.

You mentioned that people with this combination may as well not get into a relationship because there can be an imbalance of expectations. Interestingly, the people that profoundly impacted on my spiritual journey also happen to have this combination, at least in their D1.

Your article on D9 analysis described accurately the pain and joy from the relationship, no matter how brief it was. I rarely become infatuated or fall in love with anyone, and I no longer kept in contact with that person, but I’m still digesting all the emotions as if it all happened yesterday. Sometimes I wonder whether they are just as impacted as I am or am I prone to limerence.

Maybe one question if you have time.

Do you think that it’s better for these people to stay unmarried/single or preferably to be with someone with similar combination? One of my family member also has this combination. She and her significant other often clashes in terms of subtle expectations similar to what you described in Jupiter-Venus aspect. I don’t know how to advice her or myself on relationship matters except surrendering to your spiritual practices.

Thank you.

astrologerbydefault

February 29, 2024

Hi there
I generally do not advice against marriage. it a very rare suggestion and for the extremely rare charts where there is absolutely zero chances of happiness.

It is always better if you get married.
but after checking compatibility – society, family, finances, mindset etc has to reasonably match.
and perfect matches are impossible. so be reasonable about your expectations.

and do have children, at least 1 or 2. this is the duty you owe to your ancestors.
denying them causes other problems, which become difficult to resolve.

be self sufficient about yourself. Naturally you will spend more time with your spouse /children, you will love them, share emotions etc.
but have your own core of internal independence at the inner levels.

your friend should learn Manah sayyam.
control the mind/ expectations /emotional outbursts.
Encourage intelligence.
do a mantra.

Reply

Saz

March 1, 2024

Hi Tejaswini Ji,

I hope this message finds you well. I’ve been reading your insightful article on the most karmic dasha combinations, which you wrote around 2020. (Link: https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/05/13/the-most-intensely-karmic-antardasha-periods/)

I was wondering if you could clarify something for me. Are the intensities similar when these planet combinations occur at the antardasha and pratyantardasha levels? For instance, I know a person (libra ascendant and moon) who is currently going through a Mercury Mahadasha, Venus Antardasha, Saturn Pratyantardasha, and Jupiter Sukhsma Dasha. Based on what you stated in your blog post, this person is going through a very Karmic period.

Thank you for your time.

Best,
Saz

astrologerbydefault

March 1, 2024

Hi there
yes,
here mercury is the 12th lord
http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/03/13/ascendants-and-functional-malefics/

venus and saturn are benefics but their mode of working together causes trauma. they will give something useful by the end of the time frame

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2023/08/19/role-of-malefics-in-analysing-spirituality/

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2023/12/05/malefic-devguru-jupiter-or-daityaguru-venus/

i have written a lot which can help you in your study ref the index

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/index/

Reply

Jinesh k

March 2, 2024

Hello,

From educational point of view, madam kindly explain why some transits even the transits of saturn, jupiter, rahu, ketu did not make any impact or a change even if the transits occur in the houses of activated mahadasha or antardasha.

astrologerbydefault

March 2, 2024

Hi there
every transit makes an impact. even the small 2.25days of the moon transit.
it is just that the change did not register to the mind.
Especially for the rahu ketu, it is difficult to track what they are doing because of their astral nature. but if you look back or ask your close family members to analyse your behaviour in the past 1.5 yrs you will see that a gradual change has occurred and it was so slow and so deep that you never realised it.

will give a personal example.
in one adverse transit, there was a slow but definite loss of balance. i was always overstressed because my boss had changed and the new one was making every effort to get me into trouble. this went on for about 2yrs, tallying with a transit of my 12th lord.
and then i got transferred out from that post. this also tallied with the transits.
but while i was in the stressed out phase, despite knowing what was happening it was difficult to manage things.
but when i got out of it and looked back. i realised that despite the adverse conditions i had come out stronger and more confident about my abilities.
this was about 10yrs ago. as i look back, i realise that there was such change both positive and negative and again back to positive. but at that time i did not realise its intensity.

Reply
1. Jinesh k
  
  March 2, 2024
  
  Thank you very much for the explanation.

Alice

March 2, 2024

Hi ma’am, I have a technical question regarding chart reading system. Please don’t mind my constant questions on your page. I self-learn everything so your experience is very helpful.

I read your article on house systems and chart analysis but I would love to hear your thoughts on bhava chalit.

If you can speak about during your time when you were reading charts, did you use bhava chalit chart in addition to rasi chart? If yes (or no), what were the results and experiences?

Here are a few examples to illustrate my question better. How would bhava chalit impact:

1. the final result of planetary yog.
Eg. a graha taking the sign of a dusthana house, but placed in Kendra. Or, two grahas share one rasi but placed in different bhavas.

2. moon chart – is it taken from moon rasi or bhava placement?

3. grahas drishti on bhavas – is it read from graha rasi or bhava chart?

I’m aware this is more than one question – but these questions have been on my mind for a while, and I have tried reading from others’ experiences but they usually conflicted each other.

astrologerbydefault

March 2, 2024

Hi there
genuine questions are always welcome.

1. most of my clients were born in maharashtra. within the tropics. so no correction needed.
birth in the higher latitudes will need shripati unequal houses. the equal houses is just an approximation.

i have always used bhav chalit.
eg one cousin has his birth at 0 deg 30 min of Taurus. his life can be explained only with bhav chalit.
the planet energies spread out 15deg from their degree.
so his asc is spread out from 14deg of aries to 16deg of taurus.
his face is more like an aries.
coz his asc lord is in aries, but falls in the 11th house ..

when you get charts like this you have to have some experience on how the planets work.

eg my nephew has his asc lord in the 5th with his 10th lord. but he shifts to the 4th.
when he was small he would always say that he is his father’s and tell his mother that he is only his father’s etc.
but all the time he would be sitting in her lap.. all his school time stories were with the mother.. always behind the mother. verbally ‘dad dad’ and actions were all ‘mom mom’

2. they both will influence the house.
and each planet will influence two houses.

but the owner of the house/Bhavesh will be the one who owns the Bhav-madhya. the central degree of the house.
i havent touched bhav madhya as yet, because calculating it for unequal houses requires some math
but for equal houses, its easy. just the regular center of the house.

this Bhavesh is the one you must consider.

but the other planet too will have his own say.

the closer a planet placed to the center of the house, the more power he has on the house.

this actually is an intelligent way of handling things.
eg if your 10th house has a mix of 2-3 planets and 2 -3 signs like this , and you know what the energies can do and how to use them , then you can become very sucessful in your profession,

2. if the Moon is at the very edge of the sign then its better to check the degrees. Additional work but it does grant some perspective.

Moon chart is useful for transits

3. any planet aspectin the center of the bhav is more important.
Partial aspects on the edges of the house are not very powerful. will give minor effects

Reply
1. Alice
  
  March 2, 2024
  
  Hi ma’am, thank you for the detailed response! I appreciate it. A few follow ups:
  
  1. Please correct if I’m wrong: equal house for tropical births, Sripathi for non-tropical births?
  
  And thank you for the cute observations of your family members. I also observe my siblings as well and it’s very interesting to see the our graha placement and behavioral similarities.
  
  2. Is it possible that grahas may not exert a lot of influence in one’s chart due to the degree not hitting Bhav-madhya?
  
  E.g. Aries ascendant at 0 deg is taken as Bhav-madya for 7th, and similarly for other Bhavs.
  If Gemini Shani is 16 deg, there will be less influence in his Bhavs drishti (i.e. 3rd, 5th, 9th, 12th) due to him not hitting Bhav-madyas.
  
  Also, about your comment on 2-3 planets in one rasi, I’m assuming the order of priority is: Bhavesh, grahas sitting in the Bhava (nearest to furthest from midpoint), grahas aspecting the Bhava, in that order.
  
  I at max have 2 placements per house, but my older sister has a 4 placements in 10th and 3 in 11th. She is very career driven, but seeing so many concentration of energy/Bhavesh in only two houses… I have a lot to learn from her being able to hold everything together.
  
  3. About moon chart, you said that it is helpful for transits. I also found it very helpful to learn how one act and view things emotionally, following your article on moon chart analysis.
  
  Do you think that moon chart has a significant weightage to physical manifestation of events comparing to rasi/bhav chalit?
  
  e.g. important yog happening in moon chart, but not in bhav chalit. This person feels confident about personality, feel strong during difficult circumstances. Question is, regardless of the person’s emotional state, will there be any tangible material results if the rasi/bhav doesn’t support?
2. astrologerbydefault
  
  March 3, 2024
  
  Hi there
  1. yes
  2. yes
  3. yes,
  about 50 % – birthchart 30% – dasha 20% transit
  power of the mind/ intention is always a factor
  a strong Moon will be able to manifest the material too.
  but if the birth chart is not capable then there Moon will be able to give minimal gains.
  
  eg
  the Moon is very strong, he is the atmakarak, has max power, ishtaphal, ashtakvarga etc.. everything. and if there is a auspicious planet in the 7th from the Moon.
  but if the basic birth chart is afflicted, eg Mars Saturn etc have completely messed up the 7th house.
  here the Moon is not going to be able to grant a great married life.
  but bcoz the mind is strong the person will somehow try to pull thru all adversities in marriage.
  until a adverse dasha/ transit combo at some point of life and the underlying problems become unmanageable

Shi

March 3, 2024

Hi Tejaswini 🙏🏼

I’m a regular follower of your posts. Thank you writing for us and helping us discover life and spirituality.
You’ve mentioned in an earlier post as well that social and financial compatibilities should be matched and are very important while considering a partner for marriage (whether love or arranged). I agree with you that emotions should not make such choices and marriage is a lot more than passion/excitement.
I recently said yes to a person I was dating with whom i share a healthy loving growing relationship. Socially we are not so different but financially there is a huge a difference. I will be honest I took the plunge after being in two minds about it for a longfully painful time (because I share the same view as you). A lot of times I still wonder if I have made the right decision and will I suffer after marriage. I’m sorry if this is not a spiritual question but tejaswini ji how do we know if something is right for us/how do we ask ourselves or our deity to guide us to what is meant for our soul.
Thank you in advance.

astrologerbydefault

March 3, 2024

Hi there
marriage is a life time commitment, one to one on so many levels, children etc so many things get connected.
if you are from an Indian background then the family and society are also important.

having a healthy and loving relationship is the foundation
but the practical aspects should be addressed so that there are no negative or confusing undercurrents later.

if the financial disparity is very high then its best to discuss these issues openly.
eg a joint account for family expenses, or how much will each contribute to it. or if you buy some property with your money, it will be in your name. etc.
i have seen people being very petty about these issues after getting married.

or maybe he can improve his earnings, there are so many ways which can add to the earnings.
traditional 9-5 jobs are not the only means for generating income

see what works best for you two.

do shri sukta. If you are planning to become a GruhLaxmi soon, take blessings from Devi Mahalaxmi.
http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/02/20/the-sure-shot-solution-to-prosperity/

Reply

Rishi

March 3, 2024

Hi Tejaswini ji,

I’m heading to my retreat in couple days now.

I wanted to ask you a broad question on the name of – Ram

It came to me also because I’d re-read your post on ‘Ma’, ‘Maa’, ‘Mata’

Very insightful!

So in light of that what do – Ram, Rama, Raa-Maa mean respectively?

Of course this could be a separate post but even your brief insight now would be greatly appreciated.

***

If I may ask a follow up to the comment you made above, perhaps it’s just repetition now!

But for a ‘completely messed up’ 7th house lol, bhavesh mars, Saturn etc

Manah Sayyam

Sri Suktam

Well defined, strong intention

Good for even this too?

astrologerbydefault

March 3, 2024

Hi there
Ramaa, Ram, both have very deep meanings.
might write on this sometime

yes, this is the foundation

Reply

Alice

March 3, 2024

Hi ma’am, thank you for the clarification!

I find it very interesting that you weighted 50% for moon chart.

Some online forums said that if whatever disparity there is between moon chart to rasi, then this is an error that needs to be corrected by the person.

In other words, the rasi chart is the life path that the Higher Self has chosen, but the Moon/mind distorted it. Therefore he should strive to live similar to rasi chart rather than moon chart.

My questions:
1. What is your take on the thoughts above?

2. If we don’t read from the rasi chart at all, can external material indications be read from moon chart alone?

E.g. native’s moon chart indicates struggles with romantic relationship. The moon chart says the native can feel as if his partner dislikes him.

Let’s say that the native is not an outrageously bad person, is the dislike from the partner objectively true? (ie. the partner actually dislikes the native)

Or, is it just the native’s Moon/mind at work? That is, is it an internal trigger due to unresolved traumas and/or emotional pain in past/parallel/future life?

3. Would you say that we can better heal ourselves psychological/emotional by learning from our moon chart, and physical illness using rasi/bhav chalit?

Thank you again for your input!

astrologerbydefault

March 3, 2024

Hi there
1. i weighted 50% for birth chart, the D1 counted from ascendant. and after the age of 48 yrs, the Moon chart becomes more important

2. No
birth chart is necessary
mind at work but still it picks up cues from behaviour etc materail things

3. yes, in a way its right.
but also add navamsha to the emotional healing part.

Reply
1. Alice
  
  March 3, 2024
  
  Thank you ma’am!

March 4, 2024

Pranams Madam.
In our mother’s side of family lot of us have marriage problems (Mostly Aunts- unmarried , separated and widowed , childless .). And now most of my cousins (6 of us men and women – now age 45 to 60) are unmarried. Curious whether there could some kind of a family curse involved in my maternal family ? which blocks us from this Vivah Sanskar ? . My maternal Grandparents were pious and Granddad used to do shiv-ling Pooja also.
Also No such issues in my paternal side(All married and good life).
We do take up the kul-devata worship of our father’s side. Regular astrologers cannot find anything.

Also should we take that this is an energy block which has to be cleaned up (something which can block our spiritual progress) ? or leave it as it is ?
Sincerely Thank you Madam for all that you do.

astrologerbydefault

March 4, 2024

Hi there
ask your regular astrologer, he might be able to give you the solution, esp prashna is useful for such Q

Reply

Anonymous

March 20, 2024

Hello Mam,
Are there any spiritual practices- mantra etc. to avert the threat of divorce in a marital relationship that is already at the stage of physical separation due to lack of communication at one partner’s end?

Any practice, especially mantra, meant to avert such a karmic effect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

astrologerbydefault

March 20, 2024

Hi there

if you are asking this for your client then
– if both want a divorce and are clear about it then let them do whatever they want. it is not your responsibility

– but if one of them wants to divorce and the other wants to continue the marriage then first ask them to think hard about what they really want. personal issues are often very complicated.

– despite everything if one of them wants to continue the marriage.
or if you are asking for yourself,
then this will work. just be sincere about it.

http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/02/20/the-sure-shot-solution-to-prosperity/

Reply

broken soul

March 20, 2024

Dearest Tejaswini ,

All my love and a many respectful Pranam to you and your guru maharaj.

I haven’t written in a long time and I often think about this. I had to leave my husband as his family lied to mine about their financial standing and he slowly got abusve and insulted me for not being slim enough. When relations made, would make fun of my body…

Physically got slowly worse and the pretended he was just joking after he would do things like hold my neck tight or arms too tight and bruise me and would offen gaslight me about versions of events.

I asked for help from my parents and they refused . I later found that he didn’t want to marry me because he didn’t find me attractive but his family pushed him into it. It was a very short engagement and despite my protesting to wait because I could feel something was off , a quick marriage.

I didn’t want to make rash decisions but it got to a point I was sick with corona and denied medical assistance. I had to ask to be dropped off to my relatives house after they would not let me return overseas (I had lived overseas for 1my whole life with my family ) and the arrangement was for me to return after the wedding and apply for the visa etc for him. But they wouldn’t let me leave the house . I had no freedom , in 2 months of being married there I couldn’t even go to the shop to buy anything. I was a prisoner.

I escaped there after a fight which got turned into a battle of the egos when I said I just want to go home. I was unable to sleep next go him at night in fear of what he would do next. I was constantly tired and scared that it will get worse .

It was an ugly separation. They filed a case on me that I ran away with their family gold. My parents joined their team due to maintaining their own ego. This was years ago now and it took me 4 years to stop being numb from the betrayal from my parents and marrying the wrong person. Not to mention your body keeps score and the panic attacks I had and nightmares that followed. I was homeless overnight, barely functioning for years and to this day curse the day I listed to my parents to see him.

I might have commited a bad sin by leaving . But it doesn’t feel wrong. Parents that threw me under the bus to satiate their image , a husband who disrespected me just because I wasn’t thin enough. And in laws that just wanted to send their son overseas.

I paid the biggest cost. Due to the false theft case on me, I probably will never be able to come to India again.

One wrong decision took everything away from me.

astrologerbydefault

March 21, 2024

Hi there
i have been seeing clients and their problems all my life.
as a child, i would see my Dad and Mom interacting with their clients, then i had my own clients.

Understanding two things is very important –

We can trust only ourselves. we live with our own selves for a life time
others come and go.
eg parents are there till middle age, then they go,
school college friends etc go when the school college gets over
spouse children etc enter in the 20s 30s
no one sticks around for a life time. except you.. yourself
you have only yourself all the time. and this is an enabling thought. the idea of being dependent only on myself is actually is very freeing.
so make yourself the best version of yourself.
read good books, exercise, hobbies, creative endeavours, meet interesting people, go out in nature,
do everything that keeps you in a positive mood and also adds to your intelligence.
but in this also do your duty and complete your responsibilities.

and

in life never endure under something which is actually unbearable. Especially if there is physical/ emotional danger to the self. get out of that situation. find help.
a misplaced sense of duty often spoils the life and there are regrets later.

Reply
1. broken soul
  
  March 22, 2024
  
  Thankyou for the healing words. My anxiety is mostly from not being able to return and forward any sadhna that i want to follow. I have always wanted to go on a small tour of my favourite temples across Bharat and I resent the fact that that has been snatched away from me. But then i think sometimes, how awful of a person was i in my last lives for such a fate to befell me.
  
  I wanted to have a happy family, kids, someone to love and create a happy environment . But that’s all been taken away from me. I feel like i am constantly burning internally. Now too old to have kids in my mid 30s, my last chance at happiness taken away from me. Too poor even to afford a child as i have barely been able to hold down a job due to my trauma. I cannot withstand loud noises or any type of bullying anymore, i break down right back into that helpess person i was 4 years ago. And the ego that follows from anyone from our culture that i speak to is ‘well you should have stayed longer and tried to make it work’. How do you make it work when nobody else is interested in making anything work? You need the right ingredients in life to make a family happen, if you don’t have it, then how do you make it happen alone? You cannot.
  
  What can i do emotionally to heal? I had a premonition that something was not right, so i visited my beloved mata Mansa devi and said if she follows through the journey with me, and when i come out the other side well enough, i would visit her to thank her. I cannot do that anymore, i worry i will be arrested if i come to India. I owe her a visit, i owe her protection. How can i fulfil my promise now?
  
  more importantly , how do i heal from this cave of sadness that’s opened up in my heart. I have been trying for 4 years and its slow progress. I am a mere shadow of the brave girl I used to be. I also suspect at times my sister in law fed me something around holi that year, normally she didnt speak to me and suddenly was making me sweet foods and trying to play holi with me when co-incidentally that year we did not play holi at all.
2. astrologerbydefault
  
  March 22, 2024
  
  Hi there
  i have written several posts on cleansing, astral negative energy removal, psychic energy, etc .. see which one resonates with you.
  
  https://psychologicallyastrology.com/index/
  
  also read this,
  
  https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2018/11/20/forgive-yourself-to-heal-yourself/
  
  do a daily practice that will give your mind something else to think upon.
  
  whenver you feel that your mind is going sad, recite Soham with your breath, that will stabilise things on so many levels.
  
  the easiest is and the best is Surya pujas.
  
  http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/01/23/gratitude-and-the-sun/

March 24, 2024

Nowadays I see many astrologers online speaking about Darakaraka, Atmakaraka etc. Do you have any insights on this? Are these legitimate concepts?

astrologerbydefault

March 24, 2024

Hi there
very much so.
BPHS has briefly mentioned them. we call the BPHS as ‘Parashari system’. it is the foundation.
And Rishi Jaimini has expanded on these concepts. his work is in Sutra form. only for advanced students.
they are very useful for fine tuning the predictions.
but they are of no use to the beginners. first get the basics clear ie learn the BPHS properly. then turn to advanced Jaimini.

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/10/08/systems-houses-signs-the-math/

i have mentioned jaimini in these 2 posts. but then i realised that most people on my blog are either enthusiasts or beginners. and they will get confused. so i did not write more on jaimini.

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/04/14/shakti-yog-moon-rahu-combination/

https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/07/04/ascetics-sanyasi-and-tapasvi-yog/

Reply
1. S
  
  March 24, 2024
  
  Thank you. I would love to read more of your thoughts and sharing on these concepts if you have the time to do so 🙏 particularly many speak of DK being related to spouse, partner etc. If you could enlighten us, would be wonderful

Sindhuja

May 9, 2024

Hello Tejaswini, I am so happy that this is a blog that interweaves astrological basis and psychological development to empower people to make mindful choices. If not completely free to decide, the mindfulness itself will go a long way in ones spiritual progress.

I m Sagg ascendant, with my birth moon in the 11th house from ascendant that is libra is conjoint with rahu, venus, jupiter. Moon and rahu are positioned in vishakha separated by just 2 degrees. Jupiter and venus in swati .
Sun is in own house ninth from ascendant. Mars is posited in the seventh sign, mercury in own house 10th from Asc.

Im quite spiritually oriented, perceptive to surroundings, people, love getting the big picture and i have just begun my tryst with astrology

How to analyse the strength of jupiter, moon in my horoscope, i have read your posts but unable to apply it to my horoscope too well.,also what do you suggest to positively keep the 11th house activated as i have come to surmise that the 4 planets in it are not very congenial placements,

astrologerbydefault

May 10, 2024

Hi there
i have written on shad bala, ashtakvarga, maybe you can start from there

Reply
1. Sindhuja
  
  May 12, 2024
  
  Sure will do, could you give your comments on 4 planets conjunction in the 11th house with the other placements described as above. On its impact on family life, mental peace, spiritual journey and anything in particular you would suggest to remain mindful
2. astrologerbydefault
  
  May 12, 2024
  
  Hi there
  do contact your astrologer for personal readings.
  
  i have written on stelliums, 11th house, planetary war, etc. do check out the relevant posts from the index if you feel they may help.

Astro Saiganesh Astrologer

June 19, 2025

Such a profound and sensitive article! Your insights on marriages, divorces, and emotional needs resonate deeply thank you for illuminating these vital connections.

Tejaswini

June 19, 2025

Hi there
you are welcome 🙂

Reply

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Marriages divorces and your need to be loved

Emotional expectations

The individual personality

The preferred partner

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Marriages divorces and your need to be loved

Emotional expectations

The individual personality

The preferred partner

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67 responses to “Marriages divorces and your need to be loved”

I’m Tejaswini

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