Personal Desires and Relationship Expectations

Last Updated on October 30, 2024 by Tejaswini

The 7th house is not just about the marriage and the spouse. It has social aspects too which are linked to the world outside the home. The 7th house is the house of one to one relationships, legal partnerships, the social bindings we choose for ourselves. It is the way we interact with others in one to one meetings in life. It also has spiritual aspects, ie, it is the personal connection we feel with our the adored deity. The 7th house does represent passion, love, a strong desire for intimacy for ‘bindings’ with others. But do not limit the 7th house to the marriage event. It represents our deepest desire that is to fill our blanks, to become complete, to find that mirror which reflects ourselves perfectly.

Every planet placed in the 7th house gives a strong desire for a one to one binding with someone who matches your energy. This can be your business partner who matches your business energy. Or your spouse who matches your energy in the home. And these bindings are long term commitments which are recognised socially, legally, morally, culturally etc. The 7th is our capacity to get into such interactions with others. And also the nature of the ‘blanks’ in our personality that we wish to fill by interacting with others. Thus the 7th shows the type of the other that we wish to attract in our life.

I have observed that a well placed Moon in the 7th grants a good relationship on the personal level. In my opinion, this is the best option for a planet in the 7th. The relationship moves as per the needs of the two involved. There is some sort of a nurturing role in this marriage which feels good to the minds of both. In time, there may be a reduction in the passion that the husband and wife feel for each other. (The wild passion that movies show is anyways not quite realistic in real life.) Here the relationship remains cozy, comfortable, sustainable and helps both of them over a lifetime. It has a genuinely feel good factor that lasts. The children, parents in laws etc are good, supportive, comfortable etc. 

Jupiter in the 7th is also another good option. But here do examine the role of Jupiter in that individual chart. If he is a functional benefic then yes, this Jupiter will grant a sustained marriage partnership. There will be occasional bouts of philosophising and one of the two will try to project himself/ herself as the wise elder. But their life together will be good. The children will be good, the parents and parents in laws both will support. The couple will have a good social image and they will participate in all the social events etc as expected in their culture /traditions. However if Jupiter is a functional malefic then check if there are any benefics who are additionally supporting the 7th house or its lord. Do not depend on just this Jupiter to grant a happy married life. Jupiter when malefic gives a very typical result (post here). This person should try understand this concept and learn to manage his/ her Jupiter for a more settled married life. 

Then Sun in the 7th grants a spouse who is more self centred and the partnership thus has an underlying imbalance. This is also the maran karak sthan (post here) for the Sun so he does not give very auspicious results here. There is always an emotional distance. Personally, I consider the Sun in the 7th as an average position for marital happiness. 

Mercury in the 7th is also an average position as he grants a superficiality in relationships. Mercury is either too intellectual or he is too frivolous or prone to quarrelling, nit picking and bickering. The general mercurial mindset is not very conducive for a long term equitable relationship. He wants change, does not prefer being responsible and generally he wants a teammate more than a partner. Try to understand this when analysing your Mercury in the 7th.

Then Venus in the 7th should technically give a perfect relationship as Venus is the natural ruler of the 7th house. But in real life I have observed that in the 7th he gives an overly sensuous nature. The personality is more attracted to the superficial things, like going out, dates, the perfect romance as is shown in movies, then its all about clothes, cosmetics, accessories, the visual and perhaps the ‘show off’ things etc. The person who has this Venus talks a lot about marriage etc but when the actual event occurs he feels the responsibility to be more tiring than he / she had expected. 

Mars in the 7th is a powerful position. The personality is highly energised and outgoing. This Mars, if channelised properly can give a powerful marriage partner. If the two can work together they can achieve something unique. But channeling such a Mars needs a powerful personality (birth Moon, ascendant lord/sign), and an understanding of the energy involved. I have observed that this Mars often leads to conflicts in personal life. The partners compete with each other! Ideally they should work together as a unit and compete against the outside world but this rarely happens. And this often results in severe conflicts in the married life.

Saturn in the 7th is a restrictive influence. He often leads to detachment in some way or the other. This can at its mildest mean a ‘falling out of love’ but still living together for the society or children. There is a sense of duty and responsibility and so the marriage does survive. But I have seen that Saturn connected to the 7th in any way, gives separation in some way or the other. Most commonly this can mean that one of the two is in a job which requires separation, eg pilots, traders, soldiers, etc, people who have to live away for extended periods for their duty. This ‘duty’ motif is very strong in these marriages. Rarely I have seen this Saturn giving divorces. This happens only when there are additional malefic influences on this Saturn. As Saturn alone in the 7th generally will not want to go against the societal norms. But yes, this can give death of the spouse if the spouse has longevity issues in the personal chart.

Rahu or Ketu if placed alone in the 7th alone is generally not conducive to a happy married life. They generally cause problems on the psychic levels. In the very least they can cause undiagnosable psychological issues which affect marital happiness. If they are with some other planet then they can potentially spoil these too, unless there are some other mitigating factors. This is a subjective result and will manifest in the material life depending on the other planets involved and the 7th lord.

If you do not have a planet in the 7th, then read this post on interpreting empty houses in the chart.

And if you have a planet in the 7th house then remember that these are your missing things. You desire them to complete yourself in some way. So you will choose a partner who is able to give you this energy. But it is not possible that your partner will be always be able to do this for you. Dasha periods and transits always bring in change. So rather than being disappointed in your partner, look for the activities connected to this planet and do them yourself. This way you can satisfy the planet’s energy and also live a comfortable and happy married life. Marriage does not mean that you expect your spouse to give you everything all the time. This is a very unrealistic expectation which has been created in our minds by the movies. Learn to be self dependant in this aspect of life also.

(There was a question thus this short post.)

Dr. Tejaswini Arvind Patil

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82 responses to “Personal Desires and Relationship Expectations”

  1. AM Avatar
    AM

    Mam please give the link to post of functional malefic Jupiter portion

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      added the links.

  2. Saurabh Avatar
    Saurabh

    Very Nice Post !! Planet in 7th represents our missing things. In my navamsha chart 7th has moon but in lagna chart (Tula Lagna) it is empty with 7th lord sitting with lagna lord in lagna itself. Probably it means that in this life the tilt is more towards my own self than partnerships.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      try to analyse your own personality with the help of Jyotish. that is the real use of this shastra

  3. Rishi Avatar
    Rishi

    Hi Tejaswiniji,

    I was actually rewatching your Chogadhiya video when I thought to check and lo and behold you had posted today! 🙂

    I have queries regarding this. Does the sign also, influence it? Probably yes! I.e. we may have a planet in the 7th house but then ‘how’ does the sign modify it? Then what about more than 1 planet?

    You kmow, what if it’s a ‘dutiful’ planet I.e. Saturn in a passionate sign I.e. ‘Scorpio’?

    And also I’m assuming we could do certain activities with that spouse as well as on our own?

    Finally, well what if we want passion? Or other factors, but I think passion is important, but maybe others want other qualities in their spouse. Does this sacred science allow for bringing those energies in, through working with planets?

    I’m not even married yet asking these questions!!!

    ****

    I only came initially to ask – can we chant the ‘Om Shri …. Namah’ mantra during Chogadhiya time if it is Rahu Kaal? Which it is right now for me 🙂

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      of course the sign, the sign lord, all influence it
      i have written this part in the empty house post.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/01/04/interpreting-empty-houses-in-your-chart/

      saturn in scorpio is not a comfortable position for him at all.
      he does not work well with mars and his signs.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/10/17/saturn-and-mars-conjunct-or-aspecting/

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2018/12/04/exalted-and-debilitated-rahu-ketu-and-saturn/

      and i have written about saturn in scorpio somewhere.

      of course, passion is a necessary emotion. it helps one achieve so much in life.
      but mindless lust which today is equated with passion is not an empowering emotion

      you can recite it if you want to.

  4. Renu Avatar
    Renu

    Thank you for this post! It’s always fascinating studying the 7th house.

    I have Jupiter in the 7th and am a Sagittarius lagna, revati nakshatra. I got married and divorced quite late in life during the mahadasha of sun, owner of 9th, placed in the 8th.

    I kept trying harder and harder and feeling ever more resentful as my husband (purvabhadrapada moon) proportionally withdrew from me and finally left home. It was all very dramatic and seemed unbearably stressful. At that point I turned to spirituality for the first time in my life (dabbled in astrology too) and now my sadhana is my priority. I would have loved a philosophical partner, which he was in flashes, but he seemed a lot more like a materialistic teenager and I hated feeling like his controlling mom.

    Would Jupiter placed Mercury’s lordship create this kind of a situation? My Venus is also hemmed between Saturn and mercury in the 9th so that’s another complication, I guess. My Jupiter in 7th seemed to perplex astrologers and they kept telling me things would work out. And I wanted it to work so badly – misplaced optimism of the Jupiter placement? It all felt very dark and heavy and I had no idea how I’d survive it. I did ok though 😊

    No interest in remarriage but there’s always the curiosity of what went “wrong” from my end and what overrode the Jupiter placement.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      kendradhipati combination ?

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/05/20/kendra-adhi-pati-functional-malefics/

      revati nakshatra. gandant?
      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/03/15/gandant-the-gap-of-the-zodiac/

      owner of 9th in 8th reduces the power of the 9th.

      poorvabhadrapada was in aquarius or pisces?

      jupiter does not function so well in gemini and virgo.

      http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/11/01/is-jupiter-an-over-rated-benefic/

      personally i recheck Jupiter twice. with the kroor graha you know what to expect but when the saumya graha and esp jupiter who is said to be the ‘biggest benefic’ decide to become unfavourable it can be rather perplexing and unbeliable.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/02/19/benefics-as-malefics/

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2023/12/05/malefic-devguru-jupiter-or-daityaguru-venus/

      also ref the index. i have written over 720 posts now, you might find some of them useful.

      1. renu Avatar
        renu

        Wow! Thank you for pointing me in so many directions. I just re-read the post on Jupiter being overrated as a benefic.

        I’m not sure about purvabhadrapada. We don’t have a birth time. The birth chart (I think drawn on palm leaves) is not legible anymore and parents have passed away so there is no sense of even time of day.

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        then you can use prashna.
        but it will work only if you have one really important question which is really occupying your mind at that time.

      3. T Avatar
        T

        Namaste Tejaswiniji

        Could you give some insight about the difference of purvabhadrapada in Aquarius or Pisces?
        I would be very interested in your point of view, from the moment I have read this comment , I continue to think about …. Especially about purvabhadrapada in Pisces….

        Thank you so much for your precious gems of knowledge….

      4. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        i avoid writing about the nakshatra analaysis as it is a big big topic in itself
        and you want to know about the nakshatra pad analysis 🙂

        i might write a basic post on this in some time
        not about poorvabhadrapada specifically, then it will take ages for all of them
        but at least the basics on how to go about it..

  5. AP Avatar
    AP

    A question just to better understand myself.

    You mention that 7th house indicates 1) “type of other” we wish to attract in our life and 2) our capacity to interact with others.

    For a dual sign ascendant, does a low Ashtakvarga score for 7th house (Marakasthan) and with Ketu sitting alone there (but aspected by Jupiter), practically indicate:

    1) Overall low capacity to attract a Ketu-ish person (spiritual, honest person) in my life, and therefore
    2) Now not wanting to interact with others because of a low capacity as above?

    Is there a way to counter the detaching energies of Ketu or rather, channel this more constructively/strengthen 7th house so it does not cause unhappiness on material planes?

    I guess part of this is focusing more on self-love but then legal, social, partnerships are also needed to in this human life.

    If there is a link already on this topic, would love to read it to understand how to use this placement better.

    Thank you.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there

      what ashtakvarga means

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/10/03/the-different-techniques-of-jyotish/

      plus the few posts on the scores may be useful

      also check the score of the 7th lord in the sign he is placed. and the power of that sign.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/02/07/rahu-ketu-in-the-1-7-axis/

      if you are aware of what is happening then you can handle the situations in a better way.

      1. AP Avatar
        AP

        Thank you. Yes the 7th lord is placed in 4th house in its own sign which also makes this Kendradhipathi combination. As a Pisces ascendant, The 4/7th lord is in 4th house, conjunct 5th and 9th lords.

        The 4th house score is low too 26, but Mercury itself has a score of 5 there.

        Yes the Rahu/Ketu in 1/7 is a very helpful post for me, I keep referring to that over again.

        There is plenty to chew on, Guru Chandal, Kendradhipathi, Retrograde Saturn in 9th, Rahu Ketu 1/7.

        Would you consider writing a post on Moon/Mars together and Sun/Saturn in opposition/conjunctions, if they have any psychologically astrological significances?

        Thank you.

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        i think i have written on moon mars in the manglik posts or somewhere

        sun saturn i might, if i get time

  6. Rishi Avatar
    Rishi

    Hello again,

    Thank you for your answer 🙂

    But reading the other questions brought some more of my own.

    1) you said Owner 9th in 8th weakens 9th. But regarding this – what about owner of 9th in 7th?

    2) I may ask more directly but also theoretically about: Mercury in Scorpio?

    But then do we we have to consider Mercury is influenced by other planets, therefore Saturn in Scorpio, Mercury in Scorpio, their interaction then maybe a few more factors in this case. Along with the fact this is a Kendra house, opposite ascendent, Mars in a sign of ascendent so actually quite influential overall – more so than if it was empty.

    Seems like a lot but also perhaps indicates it’s worth really looking into this as it has oversized influence.

    3) You Strengthening a house? Regarding in some ways the above – how is it possible? I would have thought we strengthen or ‘appease’ certain planets and align with signs.

    I remember reading an old marriage, attraction, even some other 7th house stuff you had written also on Scorpio.

    You know I recall thinking this was so wierd that despite this being 7th house so much of the Scorpio stuff you had written was so bang on! I was like this is describing my personality but this isn’t the responsible house yet it was so accurate in some ways.

    I think I was mentally scratching my head more than the very deep adhyatmik posts you sometimes do lol.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      1. any planet placed 12th from its house reduces its auspiciousness

      2. you have to analyse your chart fr yourself

      3. do the activities of the house mindfully with intention.

  7. Raj Avatar
    Raj

    Namaste Ji,
    Firstly and importantly, Thank you for sharing knowledge with all of us. The insights shared by you on understanding the “Energies” is immensely helpful. I am seeker and always look forward to reading your new posts.

    I have three questions which are not relevant to this post shared below for your consideration:

    1. How does one know that they have exhausted their karmic quota of doing astrological readings.

    2. Does astrological reading consume or deplete one’s energy.

    3. Is it ethical to charge someone for an astrological consultation.

    Thank you and Warm Regards
    Rajdip

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      1. chart, dasha, transit

      2. yes, it does. that is why a genuine Jyotishi will never say that he /she is doing the reading. we always say that its the devata of the client who is providing the guidance.

      http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/09/29/power-of-your-5th-house-and-mantra-siddhi/

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/01/01/how-divination-works-and-the-9th-house/

      do ref the index page
      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/index/

      most likely i would have answered the Q you have in mind

      3. charge – no. it is a vidya. only Vaishyas /traders charge based on value. Vidya is invaluable.

      the rule is that the client has to offer dakshina as soon as he meets the Jyotishi. it can be anything, a flower, a sweet or even one rupee, anything.
      after this or after the reading is done the genuine Jyotish will not ask for more and even if the client gives he will not accept it.

      after the dakshina, then the Jyotishi will decide to open the chart depending on the power of that time. this is indicated by the Shakun/ omens.
      the Jyotishi has the option to not answer the question only if the omens do not support.
      (eg if someone comes to me and i hear an inauspicious noise, eg cawing of a crow, i will not read this chart. )
      but if the omens support, he has to answer.

  8. shri Avatar

    nice post. what are the “activities” of ketu?

  9. Varsha Avatar
    Varsha

    Hello Ma’am,

    I have sat in 7th House and lord is jupiter (Gemini Ascendant). Marriage is delayed. What remedies would you suggest?

    Also, when checking for 7th House, which one should we consider Ascendant, Moon Sign or D9 chart?

  10. Kamala Nair Avatar
    Kamala Nair

    namaste Tejaswini Ji,

    I have the combination of Mars (purvashada) and Saturn (mula) in Sagittarius conjunct in 7th H and they are aspected by Ju-Ve conjunct in the 11H. I have read related posts by you and I understand what behavioral changes mean, like going to the gym for Mars, adopting a routine for Saturn, doing mantra for Ju and meditation for Ve. Is there any other thing one could do to mitigate effects of this harsh combination long term?

    Thank you
    Kamala

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2024/05/19/power-your-life-with-the-easiest-daily-routine/

      choose a routine and stick to it for a life time. things will start falling into place and you will see the effect in a few months.
      it will be a slow gradual change that a few months later you wont believe what you were and are now.

  11. m Avatar
    m

    Hi thanks for this great post.. I have Ketu in 1/ rahu in 7 (no other planet) and my partner has rahu + pluto in 7 and ketu+ moon in 1. Any significance associated to such matches?
    Thankss

      1. M Avatar
        M

        Thanks a lot. Fascinating stuff. I read the rahu and karmic relationships Do you have any particular insights into what the rahu-ketu match in the relationship can indicate when it’s the 1st and 7th house concerned like i mentioned above pls?

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        pluto is not a planet/ graha in Jyotish.

        https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/04/23/graha-from-the-suryasiddhant/

        i have written on rahu ketu in the 1/7 axis

        https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/02/07/rahu-ketu-in-the-1-7-axis/

        rahu ketus results are on the subtle levels. they cannot give material results on their own.
        they need to work through the houses, signs, the house owner, planets conjunct etc to translate their effects from the subtle to the material.
        i cannot comment just with these positions as i assume that this is a significant relationship for you.

        i have written a lot on rahu ketu, over 20 posts

        you wll have to analyse your chart and come to your own conclusions

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/02/20/the-sure-shot-solution-to-prosperity/

      D1 is the ‘body’
      D9 is the ‘soul’
      moon chart is the ‘mind’

      but the D1 has to support else d9 and moon chart do not give physical resutls

  12. Ronak Avatar
    Ronak

    Thank you very much,
    Just yesterday, I rotated my chart to 7th as lagna and thought what does universe want from with me.
    As 7th house is native’s partner or relationship. So I thought of my relationship with Universe,
    And here I am reading about 7th house.

    Thanks you for clearing my doubt

  13. Urvi Avatar
    Urvi

    Hello ma’am!

    I have few question
    1.You mentioned in one blog we should you use 2 wicks and twist in one when lighting diya. what is the reasoning behind that?

    2.Importance of doing mantras 108 * 3 times? I read it in your comment and also I was asked to do it this, was not able to ask reason at that time.
    (108 I read ratio of distance btw sun and earth, earth and moon).
    Also how to focus I rarely stop thinking even if I am chanting.

    3.When a planet has all negative signification. functional malefic, high kashtfal, low ishtfal, placement in negative house. what does that tell, soul has did particularly bad in keywords of those planet? will normal remedies work in that case?

    Thank you so much!

    Regards
    Urvi

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      1. several people are asking this Q. will write a post or a video on this soon

      2. its connected to the geometry of the Shri Yantra.
      number of vertices in it multiplied by 2

      3. https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/10/03/the-different-techniques-of-jyotish/
      yes, they will

      do the mantra and the daan. they will work

      take up a routine, do it sincerely
      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2024/05/19/power-your-life-with-the-easiest-daily-routine/
      and after a few months analyse yourself.

      1. Urvi Avatar
        Urvi

        Thank you ma’am!

  14. Jinesh k Avatar
    Jinesh k

    Madam,
    You mentioned a planet placed in 12 th from its house is inauspicious. So if a planet is placed in its own house but is 12 th house in the chart,how can we analyse this?

    Kindly reply
    Regards

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      do not mix the comments

      a planet placed in the 12th house from its own house is not auspicious, gives losses with respect to that house

      a planet placed in his own house is strong and capable of giving auspicious results. now read some posts on what are the favourable results of the 12th house.

  15. prachisrcc Avatar
    prachisrcc

    Hi mam

    Although it’s a bit unrelated to this topic…I really want to know what are your views on the Manifestation techniques(your ideal job,partner,money etc) we get to hear so much about now a days.

    Which planets are involved in it?
    There is a belief that only if one puts efforts in things/works diligently will they stay .Where does this belief stand in face of these techniques.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      this is my personal opinion, these ‘modern’ words like ‘spirituality’ ‘manifestation’ etc are ultimately going to drive even more people from Sanatan Dharma / Hinduism.

      the word ‘manifestation’ is a degraded form of Sankalp where the person wants to avoid thinking of the Paramatma
      similarly ‘spirituality’ is a degraded form of Dharma where the person wants to avoid acknowledging the Paramatma.

      i had written in a few posts how Rahu and Mercury are being used to twist around the concepts and reduce their potency by avoiding the Paramatma.
      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2018/11/15/depression-what-does-the-horoscope-say/
      and in some more posts, but i do not remember the titles .

      90% of the people whom i see around me are depressed. and the sole reason is that they refuse to give that space in their lives for the Paramatma.
      at the very least it takes just 5 mins in the morning and evening. but no… they think that they are a ‘evolved’ generation , x, y, z, alpha whatever…

      yesterday i attended a ‘marriage’. the ‘muhurt’ was supposed to be in the morning. (and ashadh month to begin with is unsuitable for sanskars. but anyways) and the guests were all there by 11am.
      first the bridegroom did not come till 4pm and then the bride came at 5pm. the photographer was telling them what to do. and the brahmin was nowhere on the scene, he was called for basic a 5min puja which was in Udveg choghadia. then the couple and their friends started dancing. they did not touch anyone’s feet, not even their own parent’s. no one gave them blessings. and there was an overall miasma of irritation as everyone in the marriage hall was angry because of the time waste.
      this is the level of degradation at least in the northern part of India where I live at present.

      if you belong to this generation /modern culture, then i have nothing to say.

      but if you belong to a normal Hindu family and wish to follow Dharma in your life. then do your pujas sincerely, follow our festival pujas etc just like your grandparent generation was doing a generation ago and things will fall into place naturally.

      1. Sunil Avatar
        Sunil

        Madam related to this answer, nowadays we see a lot of bridegrooms going down on the knee during a marriage and slipping a ring on the brides finger, and sometimes even touching the brides leg, is this practice normal/ allowed in actual Hindu dharma?

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        touching the bride’s feet or kneeling in front her is the fastest way to lose wealth /prosperity.

        today the society has become so extremist = feminist that i refrain from giving simple solutions.

        if you want bring real prosperity in your life, touch the feet of the maternal figures in your life, your mother, older aunts, older sister etc. Or the feet of small girls less than 7yrs of age, even your daughter till the age of 7yrs is the Baala form of the Devi, touch her feet.

      3. prachisrcc Avatar
        prachisrcc

        Thank you mam for your reply.
        Now a days there is lot of advertising for all these manifestation techniques…it creates a lot of pressure…if you want something manifest it.

        It creates confusion as it is saying that life is in our control….but life does not gives us everything we desire.

        Also ,our native place was left in partition… don’t know about family Rituals and kuldevta…just doing little bit of puja.Will that be enough in today’s time?

      4. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        destiny cannot be changed – it is a function of the Karmic fruits you have chosen to endure/ enjoy in this life. it is the domain of the Karmaphaldata Ishwar, the controller of this creation.
        this is regulated by your karan sharir, causal body

        but there is also free will and this is a function of your subtle body /sookshma sharir. your manas, buddhi and pran are used when you exercise this free will.
        you can use your free will to modulate the destiny to some extent.
        eg suppose you are destined to get a fractured in your foot. you can be using your free will reduce the intensity to a sprain or endure that fracture in your dream state. but you cannot completely avoid it.
        or if you are destined to get say 1kg gold in this life. you can by exerting your free will act to increase it to 10 kg.
        but if there is no ‘seed’ for eg emigrating and living in Australia then even if you act for it you will not be able to emigrate there.

        life is in your control but only to that extent.
        you chose your path at the instant of your birth. now in this life you do have some margin for course correction but generally the path will remain what you yourself chose it at birth.

        if you do not know who your Kuldevata is then you can choose to worship any deity of your choice as a Ishtadevata.

        https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2022/02/06/kuldevata-and-ishtadevata/

        in such cases i generally recommend worshipping Bhagwan Ganpati, he is the prathampujya, the Vighnaharta. the first worshipped and the remover of obstacles. the visible form of Om.

      5. Anirvan Avatar
        Anirvan

        Namaste Ma’am,

        Why shouldn’t men touch bride’s feet ? (Asking this in a ‘want to know’ tone. Since tones are not clear in text, so specifying)

        Family members (in my case) never tell the logic/background, so it feels kind of irritating, but I feel every ritual is there for a reason, of course. And knowing the reason ‘calms down’ the curiosity.

        Also, sometimes husbands happen to touch their wife’s feet for some reason, what should one do then?

        Thank you Ma’am.

      6. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there

        men and women are different. both are equally important. and both cannot be compared.

        https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2018/10/04/men-are-men-and-women-are-women/

        this post may not suit the modern feminist mindset.

        i will narrate one incident with my Guru.
        see if you can understand it

        once we were sitting around the Guru, maybe some 10 -12 of us on a few mats on the ground. it was a hot afternoon.
        the Guru stretched out his legs and one disciple went and got some oil to massage on his feet. he literally grabbed the Gurus feet and started putting oil. then the Guru started to scold him, telling him to stop. but he would not let go, kept on putting more oil.
        finally Guru said – that the people who do namaskars to him/ bow down before him/ touch his feet, offer him their paapkarma. and he being their Guru accepts these paapkarma and in exchange gives them ashirwad. now this oil will act as a barrier. people who will come in the evening will not be able to give their paapkarma to the Guru. he wont be able to accept these paapkarma.
        we all were silent hearing this.
        then my Guru made that disciple wipe off the oil, then he went and washed his feet.

        so do not feed your ego when someone touches your feet. he has given you some portion of his paapkarma and you have taken it on. and in exchange you have given him your ashirwad.

      7. Urvi Avatar
        Urvi

        So basically if husband is touching feet of wife she would absorbing paapkarma of husband, so gruhlakshmi’s energy would be reduced thus reduced prosperity makes sense..

  16. Sunil Avatar
    Sunil

    Hi madam, can you pliss explain the reason about what happens in terms of energy that the prosperity reduces, if the groom goes down one one knee or touches the brides feet?
    Please madam, in this times it has become so common practise for the bride and groom to touch each others feet,

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      in India it is not it is not a common practice for the groom to touch or kneel before the bride.

      and it is a common practice for the bride to touch the groom’s feet.

      and it is a common practice for both to go around to the older relatives and together touch their feet to get their blessings.

      as i have said earlier, with the extremist feminist views I refrain from telling women to do certian necessary things or giving remedies or reasons for such things

      i will give one example which has cemented my opinion regarding the women of today’s age.

      one person approached my Guru and insistently asked for some remedy for some serious issues he was having in his business.
      so finally Guru was like ok, buy one pair anklets/ payal /manjiri/ painjan from the local market and come back. so he got one pair and placed it in front of the Guru.
      after some time Guru asked him to take them.
      the remedy was his wife would have to wear these and that would solve his money issues. and the Guru told him to phone his wife and tell her. so he called his wife, it was on speaker. she started laughing and said she will not wear these ‘old fashioned out of style anklets’ and if he wanted to he could wear them himself!
      all of us who were sitting around heard this.

      a wife is a ‘Gruhlaxmi’ she has to accept this responsibility and duty. the husband is the ‘Narayan’ he too has to behave in this way. both have to work together as a unit else the creation/ society /family/ life will fail. we are seeing that the ‘maintainence’ function in this current age is gradually eroding.
      we Gruhast people /householders are unable to channelise the energy of ‘Laxmi Narayan’ in our lives. the fault is ours.

      today everyone has become so ‘liberal’ that there is no point in explaining the energy behind the things our ancestors have told us to do.

      if you want to do it, go ahead. or not do it, that too is ok.
      ultimately it is a karma and you will with time get the karmaphal either to enjoy or endure, your choice.

  17. prachisrcc Avatar
    prachisrcc

    Thank you mam for your reply.

    Regarding touching feet…I wanted to ask what if the person is insistent…even after repeatedly told not to they still do(it’s a relative).Will not giving the aashirwad break the taking on their karma.

    Also, wanted to request you to share your views regarding narcissistic and empath relationship.The planets involved and the karmic lesson to be learned in such a relationship.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      generally in Indian culture, the younger relatives do touch the feet of their older relatives.
      it is a cycle.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/04/05/narcissists-abusive-relationships-and-the-horoscope/
      wrote a bit here

      it is thrown about a lot these days but i do not understand what people mean by this word ’empath’.
      coz everyone feels empathy for at least some people in their lives.

      1. prachisrcc Avatar
        prachisrcc

        Hi mam

        The person is of the same age…and harbours negative intentions,makes the other person uncomfortable.As this is a tradition to respect elders(I think)… atleast the other persons opinion on whether they want their feet touched or not should that not be taken into consideration?

        For empath(I prefer using HSP)… meaning a person who is sensitive to the emotional needs of others.

        The article about narcissistic personality is so true.
        What to do in case of narcissistic parent ,it’s tough to leave especially in our culture where elders are to be respected no questions asked.It takes decades to know what you are dealing with when you are born in such an environment because family is taken the benchmark for defining normal for a child.
        In this case,the children of this family are unmarried (above 35 years)… are afraid to attract such a relationship again in their lives.

        What is the karmic lesson behind meeting such people…is it about having strong boundaries ,not to have such an open heart?Or somewhere the empath feels pity for the narcissistic personality and looks down upon them?
        How to resolve this soul lesson for good and meet growth oriented people?

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there

        you can always say clearly that you do not like this, and tell the person to stop.

        i told you that this ’empath’ concept = ‘sensitive to the emotional needs of others’ is illogical.

        everyone is reasonably sensitive to the emotional needs of the few loved ones in their lives.
        eg i am sensitive to my husband’s son’s etc emotional needs. and they too are.

        but if i say that i am sensitive to the emotional needs of my clients or my staff or everyone who interacts with me, this would be stupidity and indicative of some emotional imbalance within me.

        this does not mean that i cannot see the problem. i can see it, and if the person asks me, i will give the solution.
        but it is not my responsibility. it is the person who has to take corrective action.
        everyone must take responsibility for their own emotional needs and find some way of redressing them.

        the entire Sanatan Dharma is based on the fundamental concept of manah sayyam. regulate your emotional mind/ manas. only then will it present its refined version, the intelligent mind before you.

        if you follow the modern ’empath’ concept, you will soon become a emotional victim.

        ever been to a Dr? a psychiatrist? lawyer? they do not feel any pity for you and your problems.
        he simply diagnoses, prescribes, charges for his time/expertise and sends you off.
        if he is good, he will be indifferent
        or he might think of you as a study subject or someone whom he can rip off with repeated consultations.

        if you respect your elders with no questions asked at the age of 35yrs then you really need to grow up.

        the root cause is always fear.
        i have given one very simple remedy for these ‘victim empaths’. that is go to the gym, compete, give your Mars some space to open up. do this for 1yr at least.

  18. Vedika Avatar
    Vedika

    My Aries ascendant horoscope is Rahu 7 Libra Swati Nakshatra Venus 12 Pisces. Should I check if there is Rahu Seven or Ketu 7 in my partner’s Kundli for marriage? Does this Rahu reduce the negative energy rahu or not? Or should be done for full Kundli matching ??

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      i wrote several posts on marriage, charts matching etc
      do ref the index page

      1. AP Avatar
        AP

        Namaste,

        Reading the answers here made me revisit some of your older posts on 12th house, specifically the posts on “Sadness and 12th from Moon” and “Results of the planets in the 12th house”.

        1) If a Moon is placed in 12th house from its own house (i.e in the 4th house in Gemini), does it drain the significances of 5th house? For example, decrease the auspiciousness granted by mantras, decrease the quality of the Dharma trikona and the power of the Moon/Mind to achieve goals? In this case, can worshipping the Moon on Mondays or full moon help to strengthen the Moon? I always feel I get more bad news around Amavasya times 🙂

        2) You mentioned that any planet except the Sun when placed 12th from Moon is disguised as a Anapha yoga. How should we interpret Sun placed 12th from Moon? Does the information written in the post about the Sun placed in the 12th house, https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/04/25/results-planets-give-in-the-12th-house/ apply to the Moon sign or only 12th from the Ascendant?

        Thank you.

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        1.
        no. it does not drain the energy of cancer sign.

        also read this, might help
        https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/01/04/interpreting-empty-houses-in-your-chart/

        amavasyas are always full of energy. but as most people do not harness it properly they get swamped in its power.

        everyone has to to pujas of the Moon. it is compulsory. as all of us have issues with our emotional/intellectual self.

        2. that post is for the 12th from asc.

        planets placed 6 8 12 from Moon are emotionally exhausting. later if the mercury is strong they will increase intelligence.

        Sun 12th from Moon, is an average position. will need the signs/houses from asc also to write more on this.
        these two are not material level planets, so need more data
        writing about the tara graha is easiest
        the sun, moon, rahu, ketu are more subjective in their actions. so need more info.

    2. Padmalaksmy Avatar
      Padmalaksmy

      Tejaswini ji

      Namaste.

      I’ve seen in some Tamil brahmin weddings, the groom placing the feet of the bride, on the grindstone, and putting toe-rings on her 2nd toe on both feet.
      It is part of a ritual roughly translated from Tamil as “Stepping on the grindstone and looking at the Arundhati Star”.

      A variation of this is, instead of the groom, the bride’s aunt/elderly relative does this for the bride, with the groom standing nearby. Maybe, this is being done so that prosperity is not affected, as it would otherwise be?

      Then, it is either the groom touching the bride’s feet or an elderly female relative touching the bride’s feet. This latter again doesn’t seem to be right in view of what u have said re the consequences.

      Or is there an exception to the general rule only for this ritual at the time of Kanya Dhan involving the grindstone and the Arundhati Star?

      Thank you and Pranams
      Padmalakshmy

      1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        i have not seen this custom so will not comment on this.
        i assume that this marriage takes place at night? as to see the Arundati star it has to be at night. a marriage sanskar without the Sun as the witness in the skies.

        in the weddings i have been to – the bride is given her toe rings by her mother in law and she wears them herself.
        i have never seen the groom touch the bride’s feet.

      2. Padmalaksmy Avatar
        Padmalaksmy

        The weddings take place during the day only – the muhurta is about 48 minutes duration sometime after sunrise and before noon.

        I see what u mean – the Arundhati Star is/can be visible only at night – so this phrase must be an allegory?

        I just googled it – the reference could be symbolic -:to Arundhati (Sage Vasishta’s wife) – and says – the husband and wife should revolve around each other like the double stars – Arundhati & Vasishta.

        This ritual happens within the ceilinged marriage mandapam – not in the adjacent space open to the skies – so this Arundathi Vasishta makes sense.

        There is so much meaning behind all these rituals and maybe some are not passed down/followed fully or only an abbreviated version is being followed…

        Thank you and Pranams
        Padmalakshmy

      3. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        it is actually because the Arundati star is always behind the Vashishtha star.
        in fact one of the omens seen before the Mahabharat war was that the Arundati star had moved ‘ahead’ of the Vashishtha star. and this was considered to be extremely inauspicious. and the war was terrible.
        so the reason she is remembered on the wedding day is a reminder that the wife has to follow the husband’s lead.

        i did not know of this custom in Tamil weddings. it is interesting and does make sense to my mind.

        i currently live in northern part of India and here weddings take place at night at 4 am or something like that. i have never seen a wedding puja in all my years here, coz as guests we have dinner, give the gifts and go. only few close family remain awake till this 4-5am.
        in any case, it is very unfortunate and inauspicious trend here, as the main witness to the Vivah Sanskar – the Sarvasaakshi Pratyakshadevata Suryadev is absent and thus does not give his blessings.

  19. Sunil Avatar
    Sunil

    Madam, what happened to Guruji was very sad to hear, it is basic manners even more than having to do with gender,how can people lack such basic manners, Hard to beleive people like that can exist. please madam all of us are not like that, most of us care and respect our culture, please I ask you madam,
    1. In this day and age, when India populatio is booming, is it okay for true hindus to not want to bring in Children to this world?
    2. if it’s okay, can you please explain what happens in terms of energy when the groom touches the bride? Don’t we consider women to be the devine feminine,
    3.stories like goddess Lakshmi will not come to house where the broom is the first thingg visible, are there any truths to such stories?
    4. What was the reason why Lord Vishnu always supported Devas against Danavas, when Devas were equally as egoistic, arrogant as how Danavas are told to be, for example like in the story of Mahabali

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      it did not happen ‘to Guruji ‘. the Guru is the Eternal Self, nothing ‘happens’ to him
      it happened to the person who had come to him for remedies.
      the Guru wanted to point out the reason for the misfortunes, that is why he made him do all that and call his wife on speaker in front of everyone etc..
      the wife’s pujas and the husband’s actions bring prosperity to the family. that is how it works.

      1. if after Balyashram you get married/ enter gruhast ashram, then you have to bring children. if you cannot bring biological children then bring adopted children in to your life. this is your duty. if that is also not possible then in some way pass on your learnings to the next generation.
      if after Balyashram you directly enter Sanyasashram then you have to teach, ie have children in the form of disciples.
      this is the rule of Dharma

      2. do we not consider the man to be the “Narayan” ?
      do not create imbalances in the society by elevating one sex above the other.
      both are equal and necessary.

      i have written several comments on this ‘husband touching the bride’s feet’ thing.
      i will not retype all that again.
      ref to the earlier comments or think for yourself or do it yourself or if you are a wife ask your husband to touch your feet regularly and see what happens.

      3. would you like to keep a broom as the first thing visible in your home?
      or would you like to visit someone’s home and see the broom or home cleaning things or dustbins etc kept were the guests can see them?

      most of the things that our earlier generations did, had a core of common sense in it.

      4. he did it because they asked for his help. they at least had that core of humility and sense to know that they need help and they could keep aside their ego and ask for help from someone who could help.

      and the Tridev have equally helped the Asur. eg all the major boons are given by the Tridev to the Asurs.

      whoever asks for help /boons/ support, and also has worked for it, will get it. this is the rule.
      what you ask for is your choice.

  20. Padmalakshmy Avatar
    Padmalakshmy

    🙏

  21. LP Avatar
    LP

    What could be the omen or reason or some significance behind a crow hitting your head and flying away. In front of me was Saturn’s temple.

    Is it good or bad? Like a aashirwad or as some people say, something bad?

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      ravens are associated with the ancestors.
      check what dreams you are having or some other indication

  22. AP Avatar
    AP

    Thank you for suggesting the post on empty houses, for my question on Moon in 4th house in Gemini. There are so many layers and techniques!

    I also referred to your post on Amavasya. Thank you.

    The Sun in 12th from Moon, I assume it drains one ego from an emotional perspective. And there is a conflict being me/mine/mind and the soul.

    For me, Sun is lord of 6th house, sitting in 3rd House in Taurus, in D9 it is placed Vargottam in 6th house Taurus with Ketu, but apparently goes to Mrityuamsha there(which I do not know what it means). But have learnt through experiences, that whenever there is a conflict between my mind/my ego, if I try to sublimate my ego (ie try to take a step back from the situation), things work out better 🙂

    Also good to know Mercury can grant intelligence later, after Shani Dasha ends. Shani is placed 6/8 axis from Moon and it has been an emotional and physical roller coaster of losses , to say the very least, so your posts about these combinations and your suggestion to dive into the Gita/Vedanta has helped me make some sense of why these things happened. Hopefully Mercury Dasha goes better, it being with the moon, or I would have matured enough to use my intelligence and all the resources better by then!

  23. saei mghi Avatar
    saei mghi

    i read your shadbala articles. i want to know that whasts the diffrence between total shadbala score and sthana bala ? how can we see and analyse it?

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      there are several websites and software paid/free which will generate the entire table, with all the values.

      of if you want to manually calculate the scores you can ref to the math in any standard book.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/books/

      i have written on a 2 of the strength values

      http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/10/26/drig-bala-strength-of-the-planets/

      http://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/12/13/shadbala-sthan-bala/

      do ref to the index for more videos/ posts, there are over 720 posts now.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/index/

      1. tenacioustravelere4d8a4bfa9 Avatar
        tenacioustravelere4d8a4bfa9

        Thankyou for your reply,

        I have been following your posts from last one year and also gone through the posts you have recommended and its very helpful but I dont know how to use all collectively for my self.
        As I have mentioned above other planets in chart like My moon is in Aries (11th house) and have Saturn in the 8th house. Gone through surgeries and its still not healing properly. I think i am going through loop in my life, doing same things again and again with out reaching at any point.
        Currently marriage is bigger issue caz entire family is suffering caz of this. even my parents did almost every thing which is asked but no result. its very tiring for everyone.

      2. astrologerbydefault Avatar

        Hi there
        if you have been following the blog for 1yr. then you should have started doing the Sri sukta sincerely. it will sort out the issues .

  24. Aman Avatar
    Aman

    In Gemini ascendant I have Rahu in the 7 th house and Jupiter in 3rd house with Venus…… and Mars, sun, Mercury in 4th house .. at the age of 33 not married. Its very frustrating caz u get multiple rishtas but non of them reaches to Marriage

      1. Aman Avatar
        Aman

        Thankyou For your reply,

        I have been following your blogs from last one year and gone through these posts already, But dont know how to use collectively all of them. I have also Saturn in 8th house, gone through very painful surgeries which is still not healing properly. I am going through loop in my life even with my carrier to. But right now caz of marriage my entire family is very disturbed. my parents discussed with a lot of astrologers but nothing worked. its very tiring and am not able to focus on any thing else.

  25. Sri Avatar
    Sri

    Hello mam, When driving I accidently drove over a snake, and I think it died as it was moving, I feel very bad and can’t stop thinking how careless I could be, I also can’t stop imagining what if somebody drove over me, please can you tell me what I can do to make it right, is there any प्रायश्चित्त?
    I do not stay in India, can someone do anything on my behalf if there is nothing I can do from here?

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      then see if you can offer water to the Shivlingam. if you can find one which has the Snake shown coiled over it.. this is one simple remedy which addresses so many issues.
      keep a track of your dreams if you get any indications.

  26. Marco Avatar
    Marco

    Why did you indicate that Bhausaheb Maharaj should start everyone with the Naamamtra Soham? The lineage mantra is secret and cannot be revealed by anyone.

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      ‘Soham’ is not a secret mantra. it is the self. it is the first word which was uttered by the conscious purush.
      it is the first ‘relevation’.

      Soham vichar is the 5th state of consciousness. the 4th is the brahmi sthiti which Shri Krishna discusses in depth in the BG. it is so subtle that Shri Krishna did not go in much depth on this in the BG.

      My Satguru, Shri Muppin Kadsiddheshwar Maharaj never kept it secret. for eg. During his pravachans he would make the entire assembly recite it aloud and count, like soham 1, soham 2…. soham 100…

      yes, he would formally ‘give’ it as a naam mantra to his disciples. but it is never a secret.
      in fact there are no secrets in this universe. if you think that there are secrets, then you are just a beginner on the path.

      if you have not personally interacted with the Sat Gurus of this lineage and are just quoting from books or things heard here and there, i would suggest that you do not comment on these topics. they are beyond you.

      the Atmajnyani Sat Gurus of this lineage gave up their bodies in the early 2000s. after that there is no one physically available.

      i am the 4th generation shishya in this lineage. Shri Bhausaheb Maharaj is my great-grand Guru. Shri Siddharameshwar Maharaj is my grand Guru. I am a shishya of Shri Muppin Kadsiddheshwar Maharaj. in fact he was the one who gave me my name on my Naamkaran day. and the last time i had gone to do namaskar to him he had specifically given me one direction. it took me 18yrs after that to make myself able to fulfil his direction /Guru ajnya through this blog.
      i have attended all his pravachans for over 2 decades of my life, till he was physically available. and then continued on his guidelines. it is under his guidance, i have read the prasthan traya and the bhashyas on these.

      Do not presume to question my understanding of the mantra, the Guru and the lineage.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/my-sat-guru/

      edit : do not put the same comment/ questions on my blog and vlog. if you have asked it on one forum why ask it on the other again? this is wasting my time as well as yours.

  27. assaforever Avatar

    Hello Mam, thank you for the excellent post on 7th house. I was wondering how does the degree a planet is placed is in alters the benefits of a planet . I recently came across a term called ‘awastha’ , I was wondering if you could shed some light on it . Does a benefit planet like Jupiter/Moon in Mritya awastha means the planet does not provide any benefits (or very less benefits) ?

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      degrees are necessary for predictions, without degrees you cannot come to conclusions about the effect of the planet.
      yes, awasthas are there and are used in predictions. i had briefly written about this in some posts.

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/07/25/how-to-judge-a-planet-in-your-chart/

      https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2021/10/03/the-different-techniques-of-jyotish/

      it is not possible for me to write posts on all the planets and avasthas. it will take too much time.

      and do not generalise like this, one planet gives 100 results, all of them are influened by 100 other factors, that is why i prefer clients who can ask clear questions. eg ‘when will i get married’ can be answered
      but if someone asks ‘is jupiter good or bad for me?’ then i cannot answer this Q.

  28. assaforever Avatar

    Hello Mam , thank you for this excellent post. I am curious , how does the degree a planet is placed in affect function of the planet

    1. astrologerbydefault Avatar

      Hi there
      the degree of the planet is everything!
      it is used for all calculations
      without the degree you cannot predict

I’m Tejaswini

I write on all things Consciousness.

I am a Jyotishi, an Astrologer.

I follow Sanatan Dharma and practice Tantra, Shri Vidya on the foundations of the Vedant.

Sharing my experiences, on the way, through this Blog.

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