There was a question on the physical death of small children, – why is there a custom in some parts of our nation where discarded bodies of small children are not given Anteyshti, instead these discarded bodies are buried.
Long answer.
There are 16 right actions, Sanskars which are required for every follower of Sanatan Dharma. These 16 actions, which start before conception and end after physical death and are called Sanskar because they give a ‘samyak aakar’, ie the most appropriate form to the individual. The final 16th or last Antim Sanskar, is the offering of the discarded body to the Agni with the correct intention that the jivatma reaches the dimension of the ancestors /Pitrulok and is eventually reborn. Anteyshti Agni is essential for the evolution of the jivatma, ie its eventual Moksh. (I have written several posts on birth, death etc.)
This Anteyshti Sanskar has two stages. First is all the activities performed at the home, where both the women and men are involved. And next is at the shmashanbhoomi where the correct heir, ie the nearest male relative is responsible. This can be the son, grandson, son in law, nephew, brother, father, male cousin, any man from the same gotra, or any Hindu man or the smashanpaal/ ‘caretaker’ of the shmashanbhoomi where the anteyshti is being performed. Women are not the correct heir for this part, they do not enter the Shmashan bhoomi as its energies are not suitable for them, they bid farewell to the discarded body at the doorstep.
In Sanatan Dharma, burial of the discarded physical bodies is allowed only for Atmajnyani Mahapurush. This is because they are Mukt, ie they do not have any individual self-ego /ahamkar left. Their ahamkar has been burnt in the fire of Jnyan Agni, self knowledge, Atmajnyan. Attachment is a result of self ego/ ahamkar, ie the identification with qualifications like ‘Priya, Amit, daughter, son, student, father, mother, husband, wife, guru, shishya, etc’. Atmajnyani are not limited by any attribute, they are not bound, not attached. They are not jivatma anymore, they are the Paramatma. They are ever free, ever unlimited, ever existent. They do not have to reach Pitrulok or be reborn. The energy of the Anteyshti Sanskar is irrelevant to them. Thus such Atmajnyani are buried. This also serves as a warning to cheats, ‘mystics, masters’. If you pretend to be an enlightened ‘Satguru’ and misguide others, misuse their faith, then after your physical death, your disciples will bury the discarded body. Then your jivatma will also remain bound here on Martyalok/ earth unable to leave for Pitrulok and rebirth. This is the most terrible punishment that Sanatan Dharma metes out to such pretenders.
Human life has 4 objectives, in sequence, Kaam, Arth, Dharma and Moksh. Everyone starts with desire to act, Kaam. This goes on for several lives. Then a few start wondering on the meaning of the actions, they wish to delve into the motivations which create desire, Arth. This too takes several human lives. Even fewer then start thinking on what are the foundations of this action, what is this desire based on and the real substance behind the meaning, Dharma. This enquiry goes on for several human lives and you will take up some plant or animal lives in between, human life is quite rare. And then there are the handful Atmajnyani who reach the climax of this intellectual journey and realise themselves as eternally free, limitless, existent, ie Moksh.
For the attached jivatmas, the conscious fire of the Anteyshti breaks the attachment to the discarded body/ identity. The jivatma /individual soul has just left the physical body /identity and is still attached to it. When the body is offered to the Agni /conscious fire with mantras, this energy helps the jivatma break its attachment to the discarded shell and the issues of this now past life. This helps it freely continue on its journey to Pitrulok and then onto its next rebirth. If it does not move on, then hauntings and trauma to the jivatma/ family is possible.
Also for the family, doing all the activities associated with the Anteyshti gives them a significant chunk of punya/ spiritual merit. And on an emotional level, this helps in closure. These are all necessary actions, Sanskars.
So in short, the Anteyshti Agni burns a portion of the ahamkar, specifically that part which has tied the jivatma to this particular life. Now the question is, for a human birth, when does the Ahamkar begin to take such a solid form that it needs the power of the Antim Sanskar, ie conscious fire charged with mantras, to burn it?
I have written a post on the development of the child’s chakras.
The 14th year is the culmination of the 2nd cycle of the chakra development. This is when children are considered to be significantly ‘grown’. There is physical strength and also the beginnings of emotional stability. Significant hormonal changes become evident and the reproductive capacity of the body is now functional. After the age of 15yrs the child is practically a mini adult.
The first chakra development sequence is from birth to the 7th year. This 7th year also coincides with the loss of milk teeth and formation of permanent teeth in the physical body. More importantly, the Yajnopavit Sanskar is performed before the 7th birthday. The child is now capable of absorbing the power of the Gayatri mantra and doing his/her personal sadhana. Boys, now onwards, wear the Shikha, Sutra and practice the Mantra. Girls practice the Gayatri mantra, in the present age girls do not wear the sutra. After the 7th year, the child has to generate his own mantra shakti by doing his regular daily pujas and reduce his energy dependancy on the spiritual strength of his parents.
But there is one fundamental milestone which comes even earlier in life. This coincides with the Annaprashan Sanskar. This is performed at the age of 6months, where the baby stops being dependant on the mother’s milk and is given its first solid food. This is the moment where the baby is no longer dependant on the mother for food, he can have outside food, chew and eat. And milk teeth also start forming around this age. And here is the point where the Ahamkar takes root and very strongly. The baby knows its name, if you call it, it will acknowledge, laugh and crawl towards you. At this point, this baby is a full fledged independent being, its own sense of purpose is developing strongly (eg. try giving it something it does not like to eat, it will spit it out) and it strongly starts showing its own individual personality.
So finally, the answer to the question asked,
- At the physical death of a human being beyond 6+months of age, the discarded body should be given to the Anteyshti Agni.
So the next logical question is – what is the status of the Ahamkar/ the energy of self identification at even younger ages, ie in babies less than 6mths?
A new born is given its name ‘Priya Joshi’ at the Naamkaran sanskar at the 12th day of birth. The time from the birth to the 12th day of life is very tumultuous on the energy level. The jivtama has taken on its new body but the gates from pitrulok and matryalok are not fully closed. This is the time of naatak नातक and extra precautions are taken for the energy safety of the infant, its mother and the close family. With the naamkaran sanskar the newborn has been given an identity, for its family it now is a full person ‘Priya’ of the ‘Joshi’ family. But from its perspective, it is still in the instinctive animal-type response stage. It instinctively knows that it is alive, hungry, cold etc that much self ego exists, but beyond that there is nothing much, it has no sense of a human identity.
At then we come at the point of birth. The separation of the baby from the mother. The all important event of its first breath, its first binding to this earth and to its birth chart. The self ego is even lesser as the new born does not even have a name for 12days. The jivatma is still between the dimensions. Its soul group from Pitrulok is still bidding it farewell and it is also not completely a part of the energy of the family.
So in all such cases where the jivatma left a physical age of less than 6mths, there is no compulsion for the family to do the full Anteyshti, the discarded body can be buried if they so wish to. But if the family understands the energy dynamics, they can always do the Antim Sanskar, it will help everyone. As its Agni /fire burns all traces of attachment it also brings closure on so many levels.
But let’s go even before this event, ie the duration from conception to physical birth. During this time, the foetus’ physical body is being formed in the physical body of the mother. And the jivatma is already present within the astral body of the mother (it arrives at the moment of conception). The subtle energies of the mother nourish the subtle energy body of the developing foetus. The jivatma expects to be born and the parents and family too expects the baby to arrive. As the pregnancy progresses, simultaneously a strong attachment starts forming between the baby-soul and the rest of the family. Sometimes, the pregnancy gets terminated for medical reasons or by mishap and the jivatma is thus never born as an infant. But because of the strong attachment which was being formed, it is advisable to offer energy support so that it can be safely reborn. This can be in the form of prayers for a few days after the termination which will also give emotional closure to the family.
Grief is an emotion which each one of us will face at some point of time. Feeling sad after a loved one departs is necessary and allowed but only for max 13 days till the pindadaan for the departed soul is done
Every family should remember these departed jivatma (at whatever age they left) by offering the yearly tarpan on Mahalaya, ie the Sarvapitri Bhadrapad Amavasya, once a year. And always with gratitude for the happiness shared, however brief this may be.
18 responses to “Anteyshti and deaths of children”
Thanks for sharing great knowledge mam 🙏🏻 you are my maanaseega Guru🙏🏻
Hi there
i am not worthy of being referred to as a Guru.
do find this energy in your Kuldevta, Ishtadevata, Bhagwan Dakshinamoorti, Devi, Adi guru Shankaracharya or any Atmajnyani mahapurush whom you may have heard of.
Namaste Ma’am ,
https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/05/22/spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-really/
Read your article
Please suggest something , finally asking for help after all this years
My elder brother is arguing with father since 13 years
conflict started after 10th grade , regarding studies
Father wanted him to study in India and stay with us but he wanted to study abroad
Everyday there were argument , after few years dad said you go and study abroad
But then he left studies and went on revenge mode against his father .
Since then parents and I are telling him please forgive you dad and go and study abroad
In this 13 years period we consulted several astrologer all were like he will study but after few years and if he telling to go abroad so send him and yes we can see there is conflict with dad
Mummy is doing prayers daily all the years
Finally he went to study abroad after many years and we thought now he will be happy and will forgive his father but still everyday he calls and argue with dad and dad is like I am sorry ,I cannot go in past, all I can do is support you.
Daily questions from his side are why u didn’t sent me in 1st place then I would have been settled till now, its your fault, why u said xyz thing 13years ago or why u said xyz things 10 years ago.
everyday literally everyday since last 13 years all or time and energy of each family member is wasted in this kind of arguments
Soon he will complete studies abroad .
Please suggest some remedy please give some solution how can elder son and father relationship improve.
There should be peace and harmony among all members , please suggest something.
I am reading your articles since lockdown, asking question after all this years please suggests something
Hi there
at this stage, psychological counselling for your brother, father, mother may help. but only if they really want settle their differences. eventually they must get tired of this constant arguments. they are all adults, they have to show some maturity eventually.
Unrealistic expectations are always a problem. so each one should evaluate their expectations from the other party.
and also think on what happens if their expectations are not met. learning to move on gracefully is the hardest lesson.
you have already shown so many astrologers so i do not have any comment on this.
as a generic remedy which works,
Mind can be strengthened by any of the moon related remedies.
and courage to face life situations comes frm daily pujas.
but the person should want to change. until then nothing can be forced from outside.
Argument and revenge thought is only from elder brother side the entire family is willing to bow down, adjust and do whatever to support him but he is very aggressive towards my father and not willing to let go of old things even though he is studying abroad . If he mellows down and accepts and does not consider father to be enemy then he can focus on his life and entire family can become one .
If you will kindly guide I will be highly obliged and family can become peaceful. Willing to meet up with you also (special case) .
Hi there,
i do not practice anymore.
you can ask samarpit or nikita as per their T&C if you wish.
Ok thanks🙏🏻
Hi there
Your brother is unwilling to change. he wants revenge.
your family is also unwilling to change. they want peace.
each one thinks that he is right. and both ‘wants’ are antithetical to each other.
psychological counselling may work.
or some gruha shanti or nakshatra shanti or Satyanarayan pujas may help, so consult your family astrologer /Brahmin. but if the issue has gone in so deep, do not expect it to magically resolve perfectly.
ok thanks🙏🏻
Dear Tejaswinima’m,
Many many thanks for this post. This gives a complete understanding of what happens after conception takes place. I recently read that the simple Tarpan vidhi can be done every amavasya for departed pitrus. Is it advisable to do it at this frequency and by women?
I have read all the posts on grief, Of the Dead, Kshamayachana if we have wronged them etc. However, despite long grieving I am still trying to get over the memories and deep guilt of departed parent. Can Mahamritunjay mantra or Bhairava as the deity/his mantra help because they rule over the world of the departed ?
In all your articles you have mentioned the importance of Agni as an enabler for the journey and burial only for jeevanmuktas. My another query is about the celebrated burial sites such as pyramids that we find on mass scales. Since they preserved the bodies of the departed influential souls in grand manner, was this one of the reasons for the demise of such civilizations because life in the society must have become unstable with all the powerful souls not getting any mukti over many centuries.
Surprisingly we do not find many burial sites in our country !.
Hi there
actually tarpan with water is to be done daily. if you observe men who still properly follow vedpurva/ karmakand will do this immediately after having a bath. it is given to the deities, rishis and the pitrus. three different mudras are used. at its simplest it takes exactly 15 seconds.
women do not do the actual tarpan mudras. that is the domain of the men, your husband, son, brother, grandson, son in law, nephew, the nearest male relative can do the actual procedure.
women are required to cook the food etc which are given in the offerings and make the other arrangements.
you can do any daily pujas which help you intelligently control your mind.
for grief – 13days is all that is allowed. and once a year.
you are supposed to get on with your life. do not let your mind get into this guilt groove. of all the emotions, guilt is the worst.
if you feel guilt coming up change your mind’s track by immediately focussing on your breath and on Soham. do this sincerely for 21days at least. be firm.
there are the only 3 religions which bury the dead because they believe that Angels will bring these dead back to life.
There was only one person who could do that – the revered Daitya Guru Shukracharya.
you can connect the dots.
Followers of Sanatan Dharma will not bury the dead bodies. trapping on the jivatma on this plane, with no further scope for rebirth is the most terrible punishment. we do not wish this fate for our departed loved ones.
Agni is the Jaatvedah – he is the all-knowing. he is the power who moves everything, carries everything, purifies everything.. he is the fire in the Surya, Bahih-Jyotih. he is the fire in the Sahasrara, Antar Jyotih …. finally he is the Atmajyotih.. look at the jyotih in front of your dev-ghar and try to see what Agni is showing you.
Tejaswiniji
Namaskaram.
A query not relating to this post.
I’ve tried to find the answer from many sources – am still trying.
This is on multi planetary return – more specifically, Saturn Rahu Return at the same time.
In the last 160 years, this has happened only thrice.
For example, Saturn Rahu met in 1968 in Pisces, they will be meeting again in 2025.
This happens at age 57.
There was a Saturn Rahu meet in Libra after 147 years sometime ago. My point is – Saturn Rahu Ketu Returning at the same time in the lifetime of an individual had a possibility to happen only thrice in the last 160 years – from my rudimentary calculations.
This intense energies of the multi planetary return of the slowest planets – what is the significance please?
The other 2 times in the last 160 years were in Capricorn and in Scorpio.
Thank you very much.
Pranams
Padmalakshmy
Hi there
will depend on the entire chart.
if both are yogkarak or malefic, in which house, etc.
after 48yrs, you will be better able to handle the energy.
in any case be prepared for intense events.
i wrote about the saturn rahu conjunction in some post. see if you can extrapolate.
Namaste Madam,
After long time!!Happy to see your post. Hope you are doing well and thankyou so much for the information.
Like you mentioned, antyeshti( offering body to agni) need to be done , in our family also follow the same. One question related to this.
Does antyeshti need to be done on the land where the person is born?
What happens if the antyeshti is done in foreign lands?
Please clarify.
Thanks,
Sirisha
Hi there
does not make a difference.
it is done at the place where the death has occurred.
and on the same day before sunset.
if at night then before the sunset of the next day.
if there are legal formalities then it can be delayed to tht extent.
Namaskar Tejaswiniji,
Thank you for the wonderful article! You have discussed soul groups in the article. I am curious about how that works. Why are there soul groups and what is the purpose of having a group? Do the soul groups tend to be part of the same family? Is this the reason why one feels strong connection to some individuals even if you only met them briefly or is that previous karmas? Appreciate if you can write an article about it and provide more clarity.
Thank you,
S
Hi there
soul group is a group of jivatmas who have a lot of interconnected karma.
not necessarily part of the same family.