In our Sanatan dharma traditionally the parents are considered to be on par with the divine itself, Matrudevata and Pitrudevata. And they are! they give us birth, take care of us, love us then help us financially, enjoy our marriages and then help in taking care of their grandchildren too. Most parents are like this, some may even more dedicated and go through severe personal hardships to take care of their children.
But unfortunately as every thing has an other side, this “parent” thing also has its own black side. In my practice I have seen extraordinary parents who were so good, divine even, but I have seen such parents who were indifferent, actively disliked their children and some who were actually evil. Children of such parents grow up to be highly conflicted and complex personalities. Imagine how it would be like for a young child, where everyone around them says that parents are always good, and they know in their innocent minds that their parents are not like that. But because they are so young they feel it is their fault or something and then their mental trauma begins.
Astrologically the moon and the lord of the 4th house represent the mother. If either or both of these 2 grahas are placed in the 6th, 8th, 12th houses or under malefic aspects the love of the mother is denied.
- In the 6th, the mother may behave like a enemy and a cause of (psychological or physical) disease, debt and ruin.
- In the 8th, the mother may be physically violent, cause injury, she may actually die or live separately.
- In the 12th the mother will be absent, either physically dead or insane or indifferent.
Another possibility is the factors causing baal-arishta, sufferings of the childhood operating causing the mother/father to behave badly. And if the birth is in a Gandant Lunar mansion/ Nakshatra and the required astrological remedy for Gandant have not been performed.
If the mother is abusive to the child or even indifferent the child has emotional issues. Women as a group do not get along with him and neither does he get along with them. He will always have a mental block about receiving stuff. May be unable to accept kindness even. Outwardly a very strong and stable personality, but is crumbling inside emotionally. Can get depressive, addicted to alcohol etc easily. Cannot let down their guard or confide, have difficulty trusting. Cannot express their feelings because they do not understand what it is that they are feeling.
On a physical level, such a mother often comes with the following combinations. The house that the child lives in is not happy and is full of restricted suppressed energies. The vehicles, landed properties if owned become a source of irritation. Maternal side of the family, aunts and uncles can impose. The mother herself may be acutely or chronically ill, or working overtime, may be suppressed herself.
One of my clients had his moon in pisces in the 6th house and aspected by Saturn from the 12th house. He had a very committed hardworking professional mother who took care of everything around the house, helped other people too, outwardly the ideal mother. But there was not one drop of love in her interactions with her son, only a sense of duty. As per his horoscope around the age of 4yrs something so traumatic happened that he developed a personality split. It did not really affect his daily life so it was just that he was perceived to be a quiet boy who loved reading books. I met him when he was 38 years old. I drew his chart and also used some personal energy to look into his subconsciousness, where I felt that he was still a small child. His personal image of himself was also of a small boy wearing typical half-shorts and half-shirts. His mother then died and with that the restrictions on his emotional self started getting loose. He was also doing his sadhana very sincerely and within a month from her death somehow he realised that he had grown up, he was more hopeful. And now his personal image was that of a 16 year old young man. Not fully grown up yet but getting there. This man now understands the negative influence his mother has had on him, but by the grace of the Parameshwar, does not blame her after her death, rather is grateful to her for doing whatever she did as her duty.
Perspective, it all comes to that. And perspective comes only with maturity and empathy.
So now, check out your personal birth horoscope and the position of the moon and the lord of the 4th house. Try to critically analyze your relationship with your mom.
In the example above, the mother did not love because she herself was not loved by her mother, and was kept in a hostel away from her parents. But again that does not mean that her actions were justified. If she knew how it was to be not loved, she should have tried and learnt. That was her life lesson which she did not learn. She will be given the same set of circumstances in her next lives till she learns. But my client has learnt, he has a son himself and with his small boy he has tried to live his childhood again, trying to give him the love which he never received from his mother.
All the times, what a child really needs the most is being hugged and cuddled and being told by his parent that he is the most precious person in the universe. And remember children can see auras better so can always make out when a grown up is lying.
Just remember this, start working with energy only when you feel you have developed enough maturity and empathy to be able to view things dispassionately. We are not working with energy to settle scores, it is not a weapon against others.
The whole purpose of understanding all this is to disengage from the outer influences and to look inside our own selves. But you cannot disengage without first understanding them. So astrology teaches you to observe, understand and learn.
In my next post i will discuss negligent fathers.