Last Updated on August 13, 2024 by Tejaswini
A small post to help appreciate the power the Moon holds over your existence.
Even before you were born, ie physically existing as a foetus in your Mom’s womb, you were quite aware of about her, your माता, her physical health, her emotional status, her everything. Her health was literally a life and death thing for you growing within her. (I read in a research paper that if an expecting Mom suffers organ damage, the foetus sends totipotent cells to her damaged organs to repair them.) You are always hyper aware of your Mom and this continues after your birth and even after you grow up. She is the Moon in your horoscope.
Then comes the mother in law, श्वश्रूः, a relation you get after you get married. And she is almost always a source of awe. In contrast the father-in-law श्वशुरः is a nonentity. So why should you give so much power to your MIL? The reason is that this woman is how your love ones’s Moon has played out in his/her childhood. She is the Moon in your spouse’s chart. And any impact on the Mind, conditioning it as a child, is totally a life-time thing.
The Moon’s placement is very important. An auspiciously placed Moon can raise the quality of a chart just by himself. The ascendant sign/lord defines the personality, the environment and how these two factors work together. But the birth Moon is the lens of perception. He indicates events and responses on the emotional front. How you feel, your instinctive response, your intuition, your natural behaviour, your nurturing style and your needs. And this is because the Moon controls your astral/ subtle body, the Sookshma sharir. He is the sum total of all your experiences from your past, present, future and parallel lives. You compare your current on-going experience against this accumulated sum and then decide how to react. He is the frame on which you mount the events around you to really experience them. All this happens on the sub-conscious levels, instinctively and instantaneously.
So if you want to know your spouse better, you analyse your MIL. She is the one who moulded your spouse’s mind, his /her moral and emotional values. Behaviour inside the house, on the personal levels, is shaped by the mother, ie the Moon. eg If your MIL loved cooking for her family it is likely that your loved one appreciates your cooking skills the most. (The father is responsible for moulding the social and the professional behaviour of a person, ie his activities outside the house. We analyse a father’s role using the Saturn or the Sun.)
In earlier times when the exact birth details were not easily available, one of the criteria for choosing a spouse was that the prospective match should have a living father, mother, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces, nephews, friends and be on good terms with them. This meant that the houses of the horoscope linked to these physical people would also be expected to be favourable. A mother who died in childhood would indicate issues with the Moon, siblings if dead in childhood will mean problems with Mars etc.
Similarly if you want to know yourself better, observe your own mother. The birth mother sets the tone for your current life. Her needs mould your nature. Emotional comfort, nourishment, nurture, security and satisfaction of needs, all this is the physical mother. Right from the moment of your conception, your mother represented all this stuff and this programming remains active for your entire life. Even if you lost your mother as a baby, there are still the 9 months from conception to birth where she was your entire universe. If, as a child, (less than 7yrs old) you were raised by a second mother-figure, then you have two mothers and they both have influenced you. If you were born from a ‘surrogate’ mother, then she too, even if you will never physically meet her again, will have deeply influenced you. You lived inside her for 9 months, under her influence and during this time she too was under your control, it is the deepest possible relationship.
Especially do analyse your Mom’s insecurities, her negatives. These will be the limiting factors in your own life too. Eg, if your Mom was always scared of random things, then you too will have to face ‘fear’ in your life. And this will be a deeply debilitating sort of an emotion where you are terrified of what will come. This fear in your life can be triggered by disease or work related issues or anything that your birth Moon is connected to, but you will wake up in the night haunted by ‘fear’. Eg, if your Mom was internally lonely, eg she was placed in a hostel by her parents at a very young age, and had abandonment type of issues in her psyche. Then you too, in your life, will face these same emotional challenges very strongly in the trigger dasha/transits.
Next if your mother had specific habits related to dress or behaviour or did some specific activities then you might be drawn to a spouse who does these similar things. This is especially true for boys who want the wife to be something like their own mothers. And the girls? They tend to grow similar to their own mothers with time and this will be clearly evident after the age of 48yrs. You will start sounding like your mother.
One tip, when you feel emotionally upset or all alone, try this. Smell the perfume she used or eat some food which reminds you of the food she cooked, or listen to the songs she sang to you, or if you have some recordings of her voice, listen to it. This might help you recover your balance.
But mothers do one very typical thing, they tend to make their children feel that they should have done something or should have refrained from doing something else. This ‘should’ in your life is comes from your Mom. And she does this instinctively. If you are a woman and have a child, observe yourself, you are doing this very same thing. Or critically analyse your quarrels with your Mom. And also your MIL, she too will subtly try to make your spouse feel this ‘should’ which will inevitably trigger your spouse.
If you feel a pressure that there are lots of things which you ‘should’ do, first try to analyse your mother, a lot of these ‘should’ things are from her. This will help you understand your instinctive drive and remember that this ‘should’ is not always a healthy thing.
She trains you to think of her, tries to subtly make you think on how she would feel. Maybe it is a protective mechanism. There is an ongoing joke about Indian mothers, whenever we want to get our child to behave as we want, we say that ‘If you do this thing I will die’, or ‘Better kill me before you go and do this’ etc. And this is not a joke, I have seen this so many times. This repeated ‘death of the mother’ motif creates such insecurity in the young child that he/she is forever scared about losing the mother. And tries to conform to her expectations and avoid doing things which risk disappointing her, even if she is not around. Feels guilty on deep levels and this messes the child up even as an adult.
Do you remember that moment when, as a child, you got a really stylish haircut but Mom disapproved and then you never really experimented with your hair again? Most repressed emotions are linked to these seemingly tiny things from the childhood. The adults around you didn’t think of what their actions were doing to you as a child, but some of these actions did go in very deep into your child self. Now, as an adult you feel hesitant about expressing yourself. This is all the effect of your Moon, it is still reflecting the nature, nurture, needs, etc which it absorbed when your mind was the most vulnerable.
The solution for this is again the same one, to try to support your mind, give it a Mantra to hold on to. As you energise your subtle body, you recover from the inside and your compulsive ‘shoulds’ and phantom ‘guilts’ will vanish as if they never were there. And in this life if you are a woman and have children, ie are the physical Moon in your child’s life, be a bit more kinder, more understanding, make your child feel less ‘guilty’. This will help your child for his entire life.
47 responses to “The Mind, the Mom, the Mom in law”
Hi Madam,
My mother’s mother had this habit of reading the lines of shivleelamrut again and again until she felt satisfied ( kind of ocd)
Then my mother has this habit to clean the kitchen platform (ota) daily, also sweeping home twice a day, basically over emphasis on cleanliness.
And when i observe about myself, i have got both of these traits to some extent.
Funny, how you inherit the moon.
Btw if you could post about the sun in kendra houses, would be great.
Thanks
Very true observation .. and have experienced it personally also. Anyone who is unfortunate to lose their mother, gets a scar that stays for a long time.
Namaskaram
Really happy to see your post after a long time.
Wanted to share something I ( coincidentally) read just today about how mothers milk changes in contents based on the child’s needs. Example, for a premature baby the milk is richer fats and other constituents needed for immunity building, as compared to normal baby.
I had a question about Nadis. Usually Pingala Nadi aids digestion , logical thinking etc and Ida Nadi emotions,creativity etc. And these Nadi can be activated also by sleeping on the opposite sides.
But what happens if, while sleeping on left side, instead of the Pingala Nadi getting activated, the Ida gets activated and vice versa ? How can this anomaly be explained ?
anugrahitAsmi
Gayatri
Hi Madam,
Thankyou so much for one more beautiful post .
After reading this post , thought/impression on mother and mother-in-law went to next level .🥰🥰
Somehow I don’t even get these thoughts myself. Not sure if its just me .
Only after reading your article , my mind thinks in that way. So blessed to read your blog. 🙏🙏
I have question in reference to your answer for one of the comments in another post.
“In my personal opinion, leaving the birth nation is more a negative than a positive “.
But , leaving the birth place or staying away from mother/mother land is predestined from chart right?
Like Rahu in 4th house, 10th lord in 12th house , afflicted 4th house , 10th lord star in 12th house etc
In such cases, even if we want to stay in homeland forcefully, how will the energy get balanced staying in home land? Apart from leaving the home land , what other options are left?
I reside in Canada. After knowing the importance of birth place , I wish to go back to motherland but unable to. 😓😓
Mine and my families all show that we have to stay away from mother land. I always wonder , is it because some kind of mistake we did in home land so staying away from homeland? Why are we doing service in other countries? Why karma is associated in other countries?
Regards,
Sirisha
Hi there
it is your choice of karma,
indicates a 12th house heavy chart.
Hello Mam,
I want to chant Ketu bija mantra for my daughter as she will be starting Ketu mahadasha soon. Just wanted to confirm how many counts should I do. Please note that I am not doing homa, just chanting Ketu beej mantra. Some website mentions 18,000 times within Shukla paksha and some other mention 17,000 times. I will be following your https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2018/09/28/of-homams/ and chanting the mantra’s instead of homam.
Thanks
Chandini
Hi there
you can do it for your daughter, best would be 108 times once a week for the entire period.
and encourage your daughter to do something herself too, at least every tuesday.
Thank you so much mam. Should I start on Tuesday or Saturday?
Regards
Chandini
Hi there
puja fr Shri Ganapti on Tuesday.
For Ketu – Saturday or Tuesday both are fine.
For Rahu even though its said Shanivat Rahu, i have seen that Tuesday is better as Saturn as Rahu together create explosive energies.
Thank you so much mam, can we do it in Adhika maasa? In most of the south Indian culture we don’t do marriage or upanayan in adhika maasa.
Hi there
sanskars not performed in adhik maas but nitya pujas are to be performed.
Thank you so much. My sincere gratitude to you.
I received a message about this last night wow im shocked my intuition was leading me here
Hello ma’am,
This sounds interesting. I have a dominating mother where I should always listen to her. We’ve had differences in opinion. An astrologer advised I keep off from her, but being the only child and a divorcee it is difficult. She was the one who helped me raise my two children She detest the thought of me remarrying. My moon is in the 5th house Cancer with a retrograde saturn. My mother is scared of my daughter.
I am more of a friendly, do whatever you want kind of mother. Both my children have their moon in the 4th house. One child has in Leo and the other in Aquarius. The connection that I don’t have with my mother, I have with my children.
My ex husband was and is still a pain. Even after 17 years he goes around talking to people about the marriage and playing the victim. Eventhough he married immediately after the divorce. He used to verbally abuse his mother. The man had chandra-mangala yoga (moon and Mars) in Taurus.
A very effective interview technique is to ask the prospective employee five things they liked and five things they disliked in their mother (or father) This will match with strength / weakness / quality that the prospective employee has. I have been using this for decades and it works very well. This matches perfectly with the astrological basis as mentioned in your article. Study of Moon is a chart also shows that. Very nice article
Hi mam. I’ve been wanting to ask you something but I’ve to do it here as commenting has been turned off in relevant posts. I’ve learned the RWS and learning the thoth right now, I’ve learnt a lot about spirituality from your posts. I wanna know if it’s bad charging others for tarot readings as well. Should I accept donation only and will bad karma of the client get attached with me if I charge fees for my readings as well. I saw you mention this but I want to know is there a way we can avoid this even after charging fees. There’s other astrologer who says one shouldn’t give predictions for free. Is it bad to have money making intentions from divinatory practices? Does this lower our spiritual vibration? I’m quite confused. I take donations but people suck away my time & energy and I don’t get the money I deserve.
Hi there
charge a reasonable amount if you want to. but do not get attached to the money.
think that the client has given the money to your adored deity and your deity has then given it to you.
Namaskar,
My moon is in ashlesha nakshatra in own rashi karka in 12th house of simha lagna. Having rahu in fifth house and Shani ketu in 11th house. Guru in sixth house in makar. Going through moon period. Kindly guide.🙏
Namaste ma’am,
Could you “please” give me guidance so that I can overcome hinderance in higher education
chanting hanuman chalisa daily
Rahu in 5th house Ketu in 11 th house
1) Best remedy for education
2)How to exercise free will
3)I read your article but how to “navigate the energies with a clear intention and a crystal-clear conscience to attain the heights of the material as well as the spiritual”.
4)best mantra to chant daily
Hi there
Gayatri or Ganpati Atharvashirsha
Thank you for immediate reply
-which day to start and what is good time for Gayatri.
Wow this applies to me too, I will take this advice for myself as well.
About gayatri mantra, i am not well informed in this subject. There is so many gayatri mantra (thats what i think) here the right mantra is ॐ भूः भुवः स्वः । ॐ तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यम । भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि। धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात॥ ॐ?
Also I also chant rahu beeja mantra “om ram rahave namah”. I came across one viewpoint where it says the planet in 5th house should not be inimical to planet in lagna or lagna lord, otherwise mantra of (planet in 5th house) rahu will be counter productive in this case? ( i have moon in lagna(mesh) so moon and mars both are inimical to rahu in 5th house)
Apologies if this question applies to astrology advice, I am aware of your reasons.
Thank you for this, it was one of the question i had luckily came across this.
@123 hanuman Goodluck!
Hi there
i have written a lot already. use the index page or the search bar.
Thank you, your reply cleared my doubts.
For anyone following whom it might be helpful:
https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/01/13/the-gayatri-mantra/
https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2019/09/22/analysis-rahu-in-5th-ketu-in-11th-house/
Cant be thankful enough for all the knowledge to be able to access like this in this age. Please take care of yourself.
Dear Madam,
I have been waiting for a long time to ask this. In The 33 koti devata you have explained that “everyone has their own Universe, each one has a different perception and thus everyone lives in his own personal Universe”. This blog post that I am reading is in my universe. The blog post that you would have written would be in your universe. How is the replica created in my universe? Likewise, why will this comment be replicated in the feed you see? Even when I’m sitting at my cubicle among co-workers, how are the universes each of us are creating and maintaining remaining in agreement to give all of us the illusion that it is the same universe?
If this question is unsuitable for explaining in a blog post, please direct me to some book/s which can explain this.
One more thing, in B. V. Raman’s “My Experiences with Astrology”, it is mentioned that trying to calculate the motions of the Grahas brings misfortune. I have however been interested in it for a long time and recently managed to acquire a translation of the Shrisuryasiddhanta in my mother tongue. Will merely reading it and trying out some small calculations attract trouble? Is there a safe way to do these things? Again if these are unsuitable for public exposition, if possible, please direct me to a suitable book.
May you progress in your dhyana.
Amit
Hi there
every experience is because of perception.
my universe is different from your’s because we both have different lenses of perception.
eg. you must have read that story about the elephant and the blindfolded men. it is the same. the universe is the elephant and we are all blindfolded, each touching a different part of the elephant. the Guru is the only one who can see the entire elephant.
eg. you wrote this comment from your perspective. i am reading it and answering it from my perspective. and i can understand only as much as my level of perspective allows. you will read the answer and understand only that much which your perception allows.
every jyotishi has to calculate the motion of the graha. how else will he be able to learn jyotish?
Dear Madam,
Going by the elephant analogy, the elephant exists independently from the numerous perceivers? i.e. there is one absolute universe?
Please let me ask a slightly different but allied question: Suppose I go to sleep in my room, does the room continue to exist when I am deep in sleep or is it only manifested when my sleep lightens and the expectation / knowledge that “I am sleeping in my bed in my room” slowly surfaces into everyday consciousness?
Hi there
the observer is given paramount importance.
the elephant exists only to that much extent as the observer can observe.
if no observer, there is no elephant.
for the sleeping person the room does not exist.
i wrote about the soul in dream / sushupti etc states somewhere.
all this is discussed in the vedant.
the quantum theory modern physics etc is all copied from the vedant.
Thank you for this post. Your articles have helped me gain insight into so many of my life experiences. I have moon in the 8th house. I have gained so much clarity on my relationship with my mother – the why(s) particularly, from your posts on the moon. Recently, I have been thinking about how to be my own person and not be like my mother in certain ways. But it is a constant process and none of us are perfect.
Would you mind writing on do’s and don’ts in a Shani temple? About things such as how you’re not supposed to look the deity in the eyes etc. and consequences. The first time I went to a Shani mandir, on the way out, I felt a growing weakness in my legs to the point that I sat down as soon as I stepped out. My father practically carried me to the car because my legs felt like jelly. The feeling went away about 5-10 minutes after arriving home. I didn’t think about it for a long time. But in hindsight, I think it was a sign of how brutal my sade sati was going to get. Saturn is yogakarak for me but has the highest kashta phal by a substantial margin. Would like to know your view. Thanks a lot!
Hi mam..
Happy to see your new post. As usual you explained so beautifully.. 🙂
I have been holding following doubts mam,
1 ) If a debilitated or exalted planet’s dasha either in navamsa or birth chart was over, the lifetime energy of that planet is reduced ?? Can we say that ?? What did you observe, mam ?
2 ) If a person has more exalted planets, it leads to developing some sort of pride and Ego as easy success and effortless success can be the reason for it.. in the same way, debilitated or afflicted planet’s dasha might give hard life with painful lessons so people might become more grounded.. I have seen a few people who are accumulating punya karma during their afflicted planet’s dasha and some more people accumulating bad karma during their exalted planet’s dasha.. what is your take on it mam ??
3) If a nakshatra lord is debilitated in one’s chart, does it exhibit energies the same as lagna lord ?? What is your observation on this ? Did you notice this in anyone’s chart mam ? Could you please say a few words about this so that I will get some more clarity mam ?
Thank you in advance mam 🙏🏻
Namaskar madam,
My moon is in ashlesha nakshatra in own rashi karka in 12th house of simha lagna. Having rahu in fifth house and Shani ketu in 11th house. Guru in sixth house in makar. Going through moon period. Kindly guide.🙏
Namaskar madam,
Kindly reply to my above query please 🙏
Hi ma’am, hope you are all well.
Pls answer one query,
I had a falling out with my maternal family(not mom) and have gone no contact since. But I am stuck in ruminative thoughts and if they are well controlled on some days, I see those people in my dreams. When and how will this end? I have been exhausted to say the least.
Currently Rahu is over my Moon, is that the reason? Can you help?
Thanks 🙂
Hi there
if you want to talk to them then a reasonable person with enough common sense you can.
you dont need astrology for everything.
they are in your dreams because either you are thinking of them or they are thinking of you.
Hi Neel,
When we think about someone an invisible cord goes out from our body to them. If we repeatedly think about someone more cords go out from our body to their body. This happens vice-versa also. If you feel you don’t want anything to do with your maternal relatives then make sure you don’t think much about them. If a thought appears, don’t suppress, instead change it. Decide that you don’t want to waste your mental energy on them. And avoid brooding.
Tejaswini ji had put up a very useful post on cutting cords and healing ourself in this blog :-
https://psychologicallyastrology.com/2020/05/19/how-to-heal-yourself-with-intention-and-visualisation/
Do the exercise in this post and cut the cords you have with these relatives. But remember, if you again frequently keep thinking about these people new cords will be formed. If they’re the ones thinking of you, you might get a thought (if you happen to be receptive) and then also cords will be formed. Then you may have to do this exercise again. In time thoughts will get fewer and you will have created a distance.
Plus there are many wonderful tips in this blog to strengthen your Moon and Mercury. Do try them.
Goodluck!
Hey Viju,
I know this, but it’s involuntary.. like idk.
It’s just these random thoughts of past hit you. I remember we have spoken in the past and I think you’d understand it here.
As a child I trusted them blindly, made my life choices on their advice due to love or fear idk. Realised enough is enough and with God’s blessing am in a better place physically but mentally a small child justifying everything. Thanks for your reply though.
And ma’am, the reason I think it is related to astrology is that many combos are activating my 4th house and lord which are in a karmic state. I am removing them from my thoughts but I think it will take some time. I don’t wish for them to be in my life anymore. Thanks for replying though!
Pranaam Madam,
Overwhelming gratitude for this resonating post. Was very emotional reading it. I dont have enough words of appreciation to truly echo the brilliance, truth and the beauty of this article.
Sincere regards, gratitude and heartfelt prayers as always,
Namaste Mata. I am very fortunate to come across your writing of your experiences. So many things to learn and its importance- no words for this. Thank you for all this.
Hi Madam, What does Moon in fiirst house for leo asendant signifies. Since its is in first house it shoud have significant impact.
Dearest Tejaswini ji,
Very grateful to you and Parabrahma for this thought-provoking post🙏🏻 I am very happy that the comments section is open again🙂
I have a strong moon in my chart and my mom has an exalted moon in hers. My mom is one of the most emotionally stable person I’ve ever known. Years ago I learnt to recognize my mother’s voice speaking within me and I made decisions on which ones help me and which ones don’t. While I appreciate many qualities about her (most of them are in me too), there are qualities which I don’t want in me. I successfully changed many of these by staying aware and choosing a different response. Not always easy, but possible.
I have 2 questions not related to your post :-
1) Does having Ketu in 4th (with Jupiter aspecting Ketu) means the person does better if he moves away from his place of birth? Does this work if the person shifts to a different place in the same city? (Never want to leave Bharat and settle overseas)
2) There is a trend to do postmortem even when not required. There is a belief, especially among the older generation, that doing postmortem is bad. Personally I don’t like the idea of postmortem – cutting open a dead body. But some circumstances require it. What are your views on postmortem? If it is done then how can we help the soul of the deceased person? Will the usual anteyshti/ asthi-visarjan rites be enough or something else needs to be done?
Once again, immense gratitude to you and this blog🙏🏻♥️ Praying you get more time so you can publish more posts here🙂
Lots of love and gratitude
Hi there
if the post mortem is a requirement under the law then there is no option but to do it.
if something else is to be done then there will be dreams or the punya kundali will give some indications etc.
Hello madam,
Thanks for giving an opportunity to communicate with you after a short while.
Being connected with astrology for a while i had a doubt in my mind. If it sounds naive to you kindly consider with compassion.
If suppose an extraordinarily famous person dies and takes rebirth and still his face of previous birth and his works are still roamimg in this world
Can that person recall that the works are from his previous birth or that person is him in previous birth. What is your opinion regarding this?
Regards
Hi there
i have a half finished post on this, will finish and post it today if i can .
a jaatismar is someone who has a attained a significant spiritual level.
to be eg. the greatest King of the millenium, the soul has to have a significant level punya in the first place.
and for the soul to remember its past life as this King, it is possible only if it has this level of spirituality too.
for such a person now, this past King-life will be like a pleasant memory, something like a the memory of a pleasant vacation.
he might feel connected to his descendants in that part of the world, he might read about his past life, analyse his weakness/strengths, maybe listen to the songs in that language etc but that is about it.
but there is one thing, if he has remembered that past King-life, then it is because he has to complete some karma related to that life now. it will be a big chuck and will require him to travel to that land or do something typical for the people there, maybe on the physical levels or on the astral level. there will be something.
Hi,
Thank you very much for this insightful post.
Recently, I have become a mother of 2 boys, and have been analyzing my own relationship with my own mother. It has always been rocky and turbulent. I have noticed that what I lacked from her was affection, both emotional and physical. How can I come to terms with this?
Also, we quarrel so much, and when I try to discuss with her to resolve our differences, she refuses to speak with me. Is it better to leave things as is and minimize conversations?
It makes me very sad that this is the relationship I have with my mother.
In my chart, moon in 11th house meena Rashi with lord in 6th. And dasha is of lagnesh Venus in 8th house. Will this pass with this dasha or will remain?
Thank you very much for enlightening us on this topic.
Hi there
understanding can lead to efforts to try to change the situation if possible.
or it can also lead to accepting that the situation cannot be changed and remaining internally at peace.
Namaste mam,
I had two questions –
1. Could you please elaborate about which planets affect our relationship with siblings and how?
2. How can I deal with the emotional ups and downs due to ascendant lord moon placed in the 6th house with Ketu?
Pranam
Hi there
3rd 11th house , mars mercury
mantra