Why do we Love?
Love is a basic human desire to be with that special someone for a lifetime. And the society has formalised this desire in the form of marriage. Marriage is a sanskar, an ‘auspicious action which gives the most appropriate form’. Marriage is always formalised as per traditions, culture, religion, law, Dharma, etc ie, there is a structure. This structure is necessary as it helps in maintaining the family and thus the society. The society the family and the individual are interlinked and interdependent entities.
The concept of live in relationships is today more common in the western nations. Here the couple decides to live together but without a formal support structure of the society, tradition, law etc.
A formal marriage as per tradition is a high energy event. This sort of a marriage, gives support to both on individual levels, on the couple level and also strengthens their public life. Both the horoscopes have to be auspicious for this to happen. There should be favourable influences on the houses and planets who are responsible, that is the basic 7th supported by the 5th and 9th houses. There should also be favourable influences on the Moon, Venus and Jupiter. And, the trigger Dasha/ transit should come at an age where legally a marriage is actually possible.
‘Live in’ Relationships –
So first let’s analyse the astrological conditions which lead to live in relationships.
There will be two conditions,
- A strong desire to live together for a period of time. There is a high level of emotional excitement, ‘love’ and a desire for intimate interactions.
- A strong desire to not celebrate a marriage as per tradition. Also a strong desire to not register the relationship under a legal process.
Romantic love is the domain of the 5th house. Here both individuals are more focused on their personal emotions first and then on their partner’s emotions. A love powered just by the 5th house is intense, creative, romantic, etc but often short lived. You are in love with the visual of yourself being in love. You focus mainly only on your own self. This can become a short term live in relationship if the 8th and 12th houses allow physical intimacy. And the trigger Dasha period will be a Antardasha of a planet connected to the 5th house. And it will last as long as this planet Dasha/ transit powers this emotion. Denial of a formal marriage is a signal that the 2nd 4th 7th and 9th houses are not auspicious or incapable of supporting the marriage event.
‘Love’ Marriage –
Then the comes a ‘love marriage’. A relationship which starts with the romance and continues as a legally registered marriage. This involves the 5th house for the first spark of attraction and then a supportive 7th. This allows a commitment for a lifetime partnership and its legal registration. Even if the relationship begins with physical attraction it soon moves on to a deeper appreciation of the emotional/ intellectual qualities. Here both the partners genuinely consider the other to be an equal. There is genuine interest, a sense of balance. Both of them appreciate their inner personality, hopes/ fears and share their innermost thoughts with each other. There is a healthy give and take in the relationship. Both want to get married to each other and this marriage is their own decision. They may choose to involve their parents or not depending on other chart factors. But they will sign a marriage registration certificate for practical reasons using the power of their own personality.
‘Traditional’ Marriage –
Then comes the traditional marriage. Every region on this earth, celebrates marriage as a social event. Rituals can be different but the concept is the exact same. Both families welcome the spouse of their child as a son / daughter in law. These ties are presented before the society and publicly accepted. Even the departed ancestors are invoked, family deities are worshipped. There is an acceptance and merger on so many levels. The couple, their siblings, their parents, extended family, society are all involved. There is a merging of culture, tradition and the basic soul energy of the partners.
If the love has progressed from romance to tradition then in addition to the love, attraction, partnership, practicality etc – 5th and 7th, there is a genuine respect and acceptance for the life philosophy, family, traditions of the partner – 9th. Or if the relationship has started from the 9th, ie it is an arranged marriage then too the same houses will be involved. The 7th will give partnership. And the 5th house will support by creating children. Additional support from the 2nd house will give a loving and strong close family bonds with the parents and parents in law. And the 4th can give a comfortable home.
This is a complete relationship, accepted by the individuals, family and the society. This has the energy blessings of the ancestors and deities. This relationship is always a continued one from the past lives of the couple. Such couples have been close to each other through several lives and are continuing their journey together in this life also. And that is why we use the D9 the Navamsha to see questions related to marriage. As marriage is ultimately a soul level connect.
Now briefly about the planets involved. Each chart will have its own chart specific combinations but generally we have to see the power of Moon, Venus and Jupiter.
1. Moon is the agent of the mind, he decides what you think and feel. He is the force who nurtures. He is tradition and culture. He is the sense of Home, that cozy comfort, which you feel with your loved one. Every relationship has to support your mind and that is the domain of the Moon.
2. Then Venus is your desire to find equal love. to share your life with an equal partner. To find harmony, beauty and value in a special one. To get the validation that you are loved. And this is the power of Venus.
3. And Jupiter is the responsibility that each one of us has towards our own self, the partner, the family, the society. We are all required to follow the culture and traditions of the society we live in. And we are also required to bring children, they are next generation which will carry on our society forwards. This is the blessing of Jupiter.
Finally for timing the event, we have to check the Dasha periods. If it is romance, then 5th house. Then the balanced love between just the two will be 7th house. And a marriage supported by love, partnership, culture, traditional etc will be the 9th house. The rulers of the house, the planets placed in the house and even planets who strongly aspect the house concerned can bring about the event in their MahaDasha / AntarDasha periods or significant transits.
A live in relationship can convert into a legal marriage if the dasha/ transits trigger the 7th house within a short time span. But if this does not happen soon then the relationship will remain as a short or long term live in. And similarly a ‘love’ marriage can also convert into a traditional marriage if the 9th house immediately gets active in the subsequent dasha/transits.
From live in relationships to traditional marriages, analysing a marriage event is not as simple as it looks. (And sometimes people are also forced into marriage.) So many factors contribute to the event. So many houses of the horoscope are involved. And as the event occurs it powers on the houses it is connected to. Eg a traditional marriage performed in the right spirit will power on the 9th houses of both the horoscopes. And also the connected houses of the immediate family members. Eg for the parents, the spouse of the child is the 11th house, so as they participate in the event, they are also contributing and improving their 11th house.
Any strong emotion leaves a lifetime impact. Once you make a one-one emotional, physical, emotional or even intellectual bond with someone, it is for a lifetime. You choose your love. Freedom of choice is the foundation of Sanatan Dharma. Astrology will show you the possibilities, open up options, but the most important thing is your choice, so choose well.
Dr. Tejaswini Arvind Patil
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