Here are a few things which may help you be more at ease with your Dhyan and the experiences which you will get while you engage in your spiritual practices. There is always a Guru (Guru is energy so can be in any form, physical, astral, anything) to guide through this phase but with so much misleading information on the internet, this is just to bring clarity and sense. If someone needs to read this, it will remain available.Doing Dhyan or having experiences while doing it is nothing special. It is natural and not an achievement. If you create labels for yourself like- I am a ‘yogini’, ‘sadhak’, ‘kriyavan’ etc. you are falling even subtly into the trap of ego. This ego will be colored by ‘spirituality‘ thus even more difficult to get out of.
Do not expect anything to happen during Dhyan. Once you start expecting, you will feel the mental/ emotional response of achievement and disappointment. Anyways these experiences are as fleeting as the manifested Universe. There is no point in remembering and reliving them. If you think that you are controlling your pran or controlling your kundalini or whatever, your own thoughts are going to magnify your experience. Whatever you think of you will manifest. Do not think of anything. You are trying to manifest the Ultimate, you cannot think of That as it has no attributes. If you put labels in your thought processes you will never realise the Ultimate.
And stop thinking of Kundalini. It is over-hyped. It is the restriction on your self. It holds back the force of self-realisation, it is a lock. The first lock in a series of locks. It is the basic energy holding you to this manifested universe. If you have to break the ego you have to break this kundalini, not desire it! The lock of the kundalini is under the control of Devi Mahamaya. It is by her blessings that it will be opened. Thus Devi is often visualised as a compassionate benevolent protective mother. She is the Mother as She has created this illusion of ‘jivatma’/soul and the playground Universe. Visualising her as ever helpful, ever generous and protective helps. As you visualise you manifest.As your Dhyan deepens you will have ‘paranormal’ experiences, you might even doubt your vision and other senses. You might hear voices, see things, feel things, get strange disconnected from reality thoughts. This can happen even when you are doing your regular daily activities. So just be careful especially if you drive, you might lose your sense of coordination. These are random things and will eventually resolve as your body balances out the energy.
Now this is important, as you progress more deeply into your own self, try to limit physical contact. Interactions with others might also reduce, they will continue on superficial levels of course. Try to eat satvik food, cook something for yourself everyday, even a cup of tea! It might help if you wash your clothes separately, not with the general family’s clothes.
Remember you have activated the force of self realization. You are not your body and neither your physical environment. You might face strange responses from your family/friends. You are actively dissociating from them internally. Your physical body may act strange e.g. you will stop feeling hungry or thirsty, as your Dhyan generates enough pran for your sustenance. But consciously remember to eat, drink and sleep adequately. Yes, you are not attached to your body, but your body is the tool. You will attain reality only with the support of this body, so always take good care of its health. And the vehicle is only useful till you reach your destination, so do not get attached to your body/vehicle.
During this no-hunger phase do some fire related yagnyas/homa of whichever mantra which appeals to you. This will help in maintaining the digestive fire and create appetite. Or you can give Surya arghya every day at sunrise. After you Realise Yourself at the final step of your journey at the Dwadashant, you will have 2 choices, one is to simply discard the vehicle. The vehicle has served its purpose you have reached your destination. Or second option is to continue in the vehicle and function in the manifested Universe with full Awareness. This is Your Ultimate Self bring kind to the other mortals. If You choose the second option, you are going to need the body, so take care of it. Then you will be a Guru, guiding others on their journey to Moksh.
Now the idea is to have no desires and no thoughts. You have to discard everything related to the manifested universe and this is difficult as this creation is all you consciously know. Your mind consciously knows only these things, thus silencing the mind is necessary. So your foundation has to be strong, the more strongly you discard all evident and subtle desires during your initial phases, the easier it will be later after the locks on self-realization open.Now Siddhis. As the force of pran and then later the force of self realisation moves upward in the brahmanadi, at each point you will be shown an aspect of Yourself. (remember the 33 koti/classes of gods each occupying one segment of your vertebral column). Each of these ‘deities’ energies will offer you gifts, these abilities are called Siddhi. Siddhis are available only for that one life as they are not carried forward into next lives. Engaging in Siddhis will slow down your journey. If you get fascinated by these Siddhis and use them with a sense of self/ego, you get caught in the trap of ego. The higher up you get caught the more tightly and subtly you get entangled. You will require even more lives to resolve this subtle ego- trap.
Some might justify that they are using the Siddhis to help other people and do good. But this is self-delusion. You have started on your journey to experience yourself, first complete what you have set out to do. Helping people can be done later, first experience what you have to! Unless you know the Ultimate how can you help others in their journey?
Be very clear about what you think yourself to be at the deepest levels. Whatever you think of yourself to be deeply, a king, teacher, leader whatever, this entire Dhyan process will augment this thought. So be very very careful of your thoughts.
This path to self realisation is for everyone and still is extremely personal. Each one has a different experience depending on what his past expectations and studies have been. If you have followed the Devi Mahatmya, (you might see events described in it) or the Bhagwat Gita (you might perform the entire battle of Kurukshetra) or the Vignyan Bhairav tantra (you might experience the 108 ways of self realization) or anything else you will experience things differently. However one thought should be uppermost, ‘I am the Parabrahma, I have no attributes and no limits. I Am.”
Finally trust yourself and do not discuss what you experience with others. If you have doubts or questions, ask Yourself, before sleeping at night ask your subconscious self that question, it will be shown to you in your dreams.
Always, you are the Parabrahma, you cannot be defined by anything of this manifested Universe. All ideas, all words, all concepts are of Mahamaya, the creative force of the Parabrahma, these cannot be used to define ‘Parabrahma’. That is why it is called Para = beyond/other/higher, Brahma = knowledge/existence/absolute etc.
“Om Yoham-asmi brahma-aham-asmi | aham-eva-aham-maam juhomi svaahaa ||”
(Om, I am That, I am Brahma, I Am what I Am, I worship Myself, I offer Myself to My Ultimate Consciousness!)