domestic violence

Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope

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Some of my recent posts seem to be about typical about personalities. I have recently written on Cancer ascendant, Leo ascendant and Scorpio ascendant, abuse in relationships, criminal mindsets, dominating spouses and unhappiness in marriage because of the typical nature of one of the partners etc. All these posts are from an astrological point of view. Every relationship is based on equitable principles. Both should enjoy each others company and support each other. Express affection and also receive it. Generally be honest so that there are no devastating revelations later. But this does not happen always in real life. As an astrologer, you will see this darker side of life and emotions very often.

Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope

Here are a few things which if you are going through, can be termed ‘abuse’. And if you are doing these things to your significant other, do take a step back and review yourself, is this is the correct thing to do?

Narcissistic people will always be around you. You might have an office-mate who behaves like this or you know someone in your social circle who is a narcissist. But when you are in a relationship with such a person, or married to one, or your parent or a sibling is like this, or someone like this pretends to be your best buddy and ruins you, your emotions, your mind, then you should know what is really happening to you. And take active steps to come out of this abusive relationship.

It can be a physical injury sometimes but it is always a very deep hurt on the emotional and mental levels for the victim. And it can take a long time to recover from these invisible hurts. A narcissist in your life will use your abilities for his own needs, run rough-shod over your emotions, cause trauma in your life and never care. He will not acknowledge that he made you cry. Or if you go in depression because of his behaviour or sit in the house for 15days alone, he will not bother or ask how you are doing or help you regain your balance. He might rationalise his actions and justify that he did the correct thing. He thinks that if you got hurt by his actions is your problem, he is not responsible. Some narcissists also have a core of sadism so might actually enjoy hurting you.

Most narcissist people often have suffered in their childhood, broken homes, lack of love, arguments between parents, etc. One does feel sorry for their personal traumas. But you see, if someone never got love, he has two choices,

  1. To learn from the negative example and give love to others and especially to those who genuinely love you. You know how it felt and you do not want others to feel like this because of your behaviour. This means that the lesson is well learnt and the negative emotions have been transmuted into positivity.
  2. To behave with others who love you now in the same hurtful manner. ie never give them love or emotional comfort or if they offer love, be unable to accept it. ‘If I did not get it why should I give it to others?’ This means that the lesson has not been learnt and the same situation will repeat in future/ future lives again.

But not all are mature enough to choose option 1 as it requires work. Most prefer option 2 as it does not require self-analysis or self-introspection or working on the mind-set and behaviour, this negativity has become a ‘comfort zone’.

I know a woman whose mother was an extreme case of arrogance, self-centred behaviour, stuffed with self-importance, lacking sympathy or love or good-will for her daughter and controlled this woman till she died. Of course both horoscopes showed typical several combinations indicating this result, eg the mother had a debilitated but strong Sun in the 1st house, the typical reading here is a controlling and possessive parent and some more combinations. The daughter had a Pisces moon in the 6th house, aspected by Saturn, Sun has the lowest shad-bala in her chart etc several combinations which made the reading heavily manifest in their lives.

An exercise for you now. Open your family charts collection, check out which relative has the Sun with the lowest power in his chart. And check which relative has the Sun as his strongest planet. ie check the Sun’s shad-bala value in your software. Now in your next family function, observe how these two people interact. You can learn a lot of jyotish in action by observing your family members interacting with each other. Eg in my family, one relative’s Sun is his weakest planet with shad-bala value 0.82 and second ones’s Sun is the strongest planet in his chart at 1.6, I think it is obvious how their mutual interactions are like?

Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope

If, in your practice, you need to analyse such relationships, then look for the following pointers in his/her chart. Both men as well as women can be victims or the aggressors, so do not go by stereotypes.

First let’s check who can become an easy victim.

Check if the birth Moon is under stress, especially in the 6th or 12th house, influenced by Saturn, in a watery sign, debilitated, in the sign of an enemy planet, no support by benefics, in the same sign with Ketu, in the Shakata yog, lots of planets placed in the house 6th or 8th from it, etc in the birth chart or even in the Navamsha. As a general rule, if there are 3 or more combinations you can predict the physical results. More patterns seen in a chart indicate a very strong possibility, if they repeat in the Navamsha means a deep issue being carried over from several lives. This indicates a weak Moon who does not provide solid mental stability. It is very easy to hurt such people on the emotional or astral levels, their aura can be torn apart by energy, and then this leads to other problems. They can be driven to depression, psychological damage, addictions or even suicide (depending on the current dasha/transits).

In addition, if the ascendant lord is also similarly under stress, the person will find himself in situations which are uncomfortable for him. Always a fish out of water, unsettled, he cannot be at comfort in any environment. The personality cannot fit into the energies of the situation. The ascendant lord is the most important planet in the chart, he gives very deep reserves of strength, capacity and an ability to judge and navigate difficult situations. If he is unable to give auspicious results, the personality as a whole is becomes more fragile.

And finally if the Sun is also damaged or uncomfortable then the sense of self is weak, low level of self-esteem, low self confidence. It is very easy to make him feel guilty as he has has a low sense of self-worth. He can be made to work for others out of this guilt, even if others hurt him he will feel it was his fault and can be easily suppressed by someone who has a very powerful Sun expressing his malefic nature.

If you are such a person who can be a victim, you should manage your life and life expectations so that you avoid getting hurt. Avoid getting into deep emotional connections with a lot of people as you can be hurt by their behaviour very easily. Best would be to maintain close friendships with just a few, 1-2 tried and tested friends/ family members. Also marry someone only after matching horoscopes. Then you have to bring in some behavioural changes in yourself, like exercise daily, as this helps both the mind and the body. If you live near a gym go there regularly, people going to the gym are highly focussed, you can actually pick up ‘mental strength’ from their auras. Eat a proper diet, maintain your physical health. Express yourself, write a diary or blog. Positive vibes are important and keep away from dark depressing thoughts. Take up a job so that you are financially able to support yourself. In your vacations go to places which are near nature, hills or sea-beaches, high in positive energy, this also will help. Do some spiritual practice, try to increase your inner strength.

In the mother-daughter example above, the daughter, later in life, escaped from her narcissist mother. Then she got into a relationship with a young man who was the same sort. See the planetary combinations remain the same, and especially if they are in the Navamsha too they go very deep. So as you escape one toxic relationship, it is quite possible that you get into another one of the same type. It is very important that you analyse your own mindset and come up with some mechanism for self-support which will endure and you avoid getting into similar abusive relationships in future.

Now if your spouse or loved one is such a person who can be hurt easily. Then first think on if you really love him/ her. If you do love this person, ‘Love is a promise, not an emotion’. If you ask him about his life as a child/ teenager, you will realise that he was suppressed in some way. There was some emotional vacuum or trauma in his life as a child, which is still very much in his sub-conscious. So do your regular relationship things, do stuff together, go out, travel or watch your favourite TV shows. Be there for him if he needs you. Sometimes just knowing that someone is there gives immense mental strength. It does not mean that you treat him as a patient. Such people are very strong at some level, they have to be, to have survived such deep emotional hurt and still function. But if you also hurt them on the emotional levels, if you offer love/ hope and then suddenly yank it away, it is even more traumatic. This hurt can percolate into their subtle body and remains there, the impact is such that it can even take a few life-times to recover.

Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope

For who can be an aggressor, check if there are at least 3 powerful combinations which indicate narcissist cruelty. If you can get the Navamsha D9 in addition to the birth chart for this analysis it will give more accurate results. Just the birth chart can give the material results, eg beating up someone. But to enjoy beating up someone, to be indifferent to his pain, from the inside, this tendency can be confirmed from the D9. If just the D1 shows the combinations and the D9 is a bit better you can counsel this person to change his behaviour. But if the innermost core ie D9 is cruel then, in my experience, counselling does not help much. If it is only in the Navamsha it will be more typical as the narcissist combinations are hidden by the birth chart and will actually materialise only in his closest relationships. As always the tendencies are influenced by the transits/dashas.

The horoscope patterns will always indicate an exaggerated sense of self. In addition to the regular aspects, do check if the damaged planets are in the 5/9 axis from each other. The creativity/foundation axis. If you have overtly malefic planets in this 5/9 axis they amplify each others results very strongly in a self-feeding loop.

  • A very strong Sun often with added malefic influences on him, or if he strong in the D1 but debilitated in the D9. Selfishness and focus on himself, uncaring about the feelings of others, incapable of equitable partnerships.
  • An afflicted Mars/ Rahu will grant a streak of physical cruelty and Rahu is concerned about himself. Mars in the Manglik format almost often causes problems in relationships, so we check this factor and its intensity while matching horoscopes for marriage.
  • An unfeeling nature is created when Saturn or Ketu influences the Moon, ascendent lord or the Sun. Saturn has additional aspects 3rd and 10th which are considered more malefic so do check if this exists. Dour, unemotional, strict, uncaring about the others pain/pleasure, looks on the relationship as a duty, can get punitive, can hit or hurt, without kindness.
  • Then the mental processes become very typical if Mercury is in trouble. To logically rationalise that hurting the other is acceptable, a twisted thought pattern. Mercury is a very impressionable planet, if he is influenced by malefics, eg with such a malefic Sun, he will justify all the exaggerated sense of self produced by him. Mercury is also action, the courage to act, so he can contribute to physical abuse, ie hitting someone.
  • A narcissist personality is often emotionally distant, so his Moon will be in an unhappy place, either in the dushamsthans, or even the 3rd house, with malefics. He will be unable to exert any significant beneficial influence on the personality. eg Someone is visibly in pain, asking you to stop and yet you go on hurting him, this sort of insensitive nature invariably indicates affliction to the Moon.
  • The auspicious influences of Jupiter and Venus are unable to work on the personality.
  • The ascendant lord will be strong but influenced by malefics.

Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope

If you feel that you are being victimised by a narcissist person in your life then see if this following is true in your relationship with him.

Do you feel like this around your partner or whoever you feel is suppressing you. Tense, unable to relax, unable to do your stuff without feeling anxious when he is with you. Feel like you should be looking for his comforts always. Do you arrange your behaviour, your desires and your needs keeping him in your mind. Before doing something do you first think if he would like it or not? Do you avoid doing or saying something that you really want to, only because he does not like it? Does your life revolve around him? Are his messages, his calls or being with him disproportionately important to you? Do you feel anxious if you do something he did not like? Eg if you said that you would be there by 6pm and if you are late by 10mins do you get into a panic attack as to what he will do to you now.

See, sometimes you do something because your partner likes it. And then your partner does notice that you did this extra thing and acknowledges it. Sometimes he too does something extra for you too because there is genuine affection from both sides. This is how regular people behave. If you are doing the above things all the time and he does not reciprocate, then it is not good for you, it is a suffocation for you.

Now try to analyse his behaviour. Does he or whoever you feel is suppressing you, do this sort of behaviour all the time. Get angry if he doesn’t get your undivided attention. Is touchy, very sensitive to real or imagined slights, cannot take criticism. Feels superior all the time and wants you to listen/ obey without question. Shows contempt for your view-points. Cannot acknowledge your needs and and feelings. Makes you feel ashamed for having emotions or desires, humiliates you in front of others? If something makes you happy, eg going for a drive, or for pizza, he will pointedly avoid doing it. But will do these very same things with other people. Seems very controlled in public but in private his behaviour is very different, he often attacks you emotionally/ verbally/ physically. Rationalises his hurtful actions with a logic which makes sense to him alone. Also tries to defame or accuse you in public. Is a perfectionist, eg will use branded goods and the best of material stuff. He might suffers from some sort of OCD or depression or anxiety issues himself. He feels vulnerable himself, insecure but in his own private thoughts (maybe he had a difficult childhood?). If you in a rare event say that you are leaving him, does he ‘love-bomb’ you? ie smother you with displays of affection, protestations of ‘i love you’ but as soon as you forgive him, he goes back to his usual uncaring self?  If you have attempted to go against him or leave him, did he hurt you?

If you are a victim in such a situation, then this narcissist person will eventually destroy your self-esteem, your self-worth, your self-confidence. Whatever it may be for him, is a toxic relationship for you. You should find some way out of this situation. Even if your relationship started off well. Even if you love this person, if the relationship has become damaging to you, on the physical /emotional /mental levels, then you should first think on what you really want and then act.

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This sort of narcissist and victim relationship is, I think, relatively common where the hurt is more on the emotional side. No one believes the victim as there is no ‘proof’! So the victim somehow reconciles himself or suffers in silence, (generally more victims are women). But the deepest scars are the invisible emotional ones, where you cry into your pillow for months on end, with no hope or happiness in sight. However if the hurt is also physical also, then the friends/ neighbours/ doctor/ police do intervene and if the victim asks for help someone responds. There may be danger to his/or the children’s life. Abuse in any form emotional or physical is serious.

If you, after reading post, feel that you are a victim do try to at least talk to someone you trust. Try to change your situation, be safe. Or if as an astrologer you feel that your client is going through this, do try to counsel him so that he at least understands that this is violence against him. And if he wishes to take some action to improve his life, do help him as you can.

Also read this post on Abusive spouse from the horoscope

(There was a personal and lengthy question on this, I have tried to answer as I could. I wish we all be happy in our relationships with our loved ones)

Criminal tendencies from the horoscope

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One placement does not make a reading, always look for repeating patterns. Judging someone’s nature from the horoscope is a very personal thing. You cannot make sweeping statements from one single placement ever.

In your practice you will generally not get criminals as clients. And this post is not a study on criminals. This is to help you work with your clients. You might notice some charts with tendencies for criminal behaviour. If you get such charts especially for marriage matching you should delve deeper. If a person has violent tendencies, the marriage matching should be rejected as they can later find an outlet on the spouse/children and result in marital abuse. These tendencies in the birth chart will be triggered in the appropriate Dasha periods and typical transits. Or when deep events like marriage occur where two persons karma merge. Till then these tendencies may remain silent under the surface so the role of an astrologer is important. (In some castes, the boy’s family does not give his birth details to the girl’s family. Only the boys’ family matches the charts. This in my opinion is very dangerous for the girls. Girls are more vulnerable after marriage and an arranged match without checking his horoscope is very risky, you never know what you are marrying into! Both girl’s and boy’s families should get the matching done with their own astrologers.)

And if you have such patterns in your own chart then do self-introspect. How do you behave with others? How do others feel about you? Are you needlessly cruel? Jyotish is primarily a route to self-discovery, so use it in full. (And if you are a victim to some such person, do not endure this abuse, find help.)

  • Check the Birth chart D-1 for the actual physical personality and the environment, the actual physical stuff which can occur in life.
  • Check the Moon chart for the emotional and psychological context.
  • If you have the exact birth time available, check the Navamsha D-9 chart. This gives the philosophy and the foundation of a person’s life, mind and body. The D-9 is the complete potential and the D-1 is the actually expressed part of it. The D-1 and the D-9 both will show the tendencies.
    • The D-9 is considered strong if, the first house is occupied by the same sign in both D-1 and D-9. The planets from the D-1 occupy the same signs in the D-9. Planets get exalted in the D-9. Planets occupy the Pushkar navamsha. Planets occupy their own signs in the D-9 or their friends signs. The D-1 signs of the 6th, 8th 12th houses should ideally remain vacant in the D-9 etc.
    • Eg a beautifully exalted Sun/Aries in the 10th house/dig-bala if becomes debilitated/Libra and in the 12th house/maran-karak sthan in the Navamsha, this person will have an inner high sense of deep selfishness/ cruelty and outer sense of regal superiority. So a superficial beautiful placement in the D-1 is essentially quite bad at the D-9 core.

Criminal tendencies from the horoscope

The Sun defines the self-ego. And self-ego leads to intentions and actions. For criminal tendencies to exist there has to be some problem with the birth Sun. Sun is a malefic in the first place. A sense of mania, a confidence that one can get away with crime requires the Sun be active in his malefic role. This can mean the Sun is debilitated or aspected by other malefics or in a watery signs. A false sense of superiority and entitlement can lead to behaviour which can be considered criminal. Look for patterns. There should be at least 3 or more strong corroborating placements for coming to conclusions about ‘criminality’. In fact the quality of the entire chart as a whole will be very low. The two luminaries, Sun and the Moon are the ‘eyes’ of the chart. If these both are unable to give auspicious results, the quality of the horoscope is lowered substantially.

Study the Moon, his position in the chart. What kind of a mentality does he indicate, the environment of his early life, the role of the mother in shaping the mind, the early life? Culture, customs and the environment in which the Mind developed are very important indicators. So if your client is from a culture where wives are beaten routinely he will not consider this to be criminal activity. If the Moon is in the 6th, 8th or 12th, the regular houses of turmoil and with/ aspected by malefics there will be some deviations in the mental frame. The 3rd house is strange, it signifies courage, but if afflicted by malefics can give the worst mentality/ actions. If the Moon is in the 3rd house analyse him properly. Moon in a bad place indicates a damaged mind and a strange sense of emotional expectations. The power of the internal conscience is also indicated by the Moon. He is also impulses and the reaction to impulses. Check the influences on the Moon.

The birth Moon chart. How do you know if someone is enjoying what he is doing? If someone enjoys being cruel, no amount of psychological counselling is going to help the situation. Look in to the houses counted 3rd, 6th, 8th  and 12th from the birth Moon, there should not be any malefic planets placed here. If these houses are occupied by Rahu, Saturn, Sun, Ketu, Mars then this person has typical mindset which will not stop at being cruel, aggressive and unfeeling of others. You cannot counsel this person to be kind. The mind is not kind, gentle, loving, caring etc, finer feelings are low. This does not necessarily mean that it is a criminal Mind, this is just one pattern. There should be some auspicious planet aspecting or in conjunction with the Moon, giving him emotional support. An isolated Moon or a Moon in inimical patterns is very vulnerable. It is very easy to incite such person into violence. (Or conversely he might be a victim of emotional abuse). He can hit out if emotionally under stress and he will feel justified in doing so. Jupiter with Moon is generally considered to be a blanket auspicious thing, but do check out if Jupiter is a functional malefic for that ascendant sign first.

Criminal tendencies from the horoscope

Mercury is the thought process, the analytical mind. If Mercury is influenced by malefics then there may be illogical thought processes which may indicate criminal thought patterns. Most commonly Mercury is seen with Sun as it is closest to it. We all need a healthy bit of self-obsession to carry on in life. Self-focus allows us to protect our self-interests and avoid being cheated by others. But excessive self-obsession can lead to other problems, where you do not consider the other’s view point at all. Eg if a Mercury is influenced by a spoilt Sun (my example in the Navamsha above) then such a person refuses to consider other’s view points and believes his own perceptions and mental processes to be always correct. A Mercury afflicted by other malefics can also indicate this tendency. He is combust and retrograde more often than the others planets which can indicate a different way of thinking etc.

Venus is generally not associated with criminal mindsets. But if he is influenced by malefics or debilitated or with a powerfully self-centred Sun then he will not grant enjoyable one-one partnerships. There will be no fairness, no pleasure and no equality in your marriage, business (or spiritual practice). If you consistently dominate and suppress your spouse, children, etc this is not a good thing for them. You will be perceived as an aggressor or an abuser by people who are close to you. However an auspicious aspect of Venus, where Venus himself is not affected by malefics can help the situation.

Criminals are known to be cruel and disconnected from finer emotions. They remain unmoved at the plight and pain of others. A person who again and again hurts an animal or a human who is clearly feeling/ expressing pain would be a ‘criminal’ mind-set. The victims do plead with the aggressor to stop but the still person continues his hurtful actions. This sort of nature would indicate Mars to be in his fully malefic role. Mars is both physical and psychological domination. His outgoing physical sign is Aries. And he dominates psychologically through his inward moving Scorpio sign. Scorpio especially can be quite strange. It is represented by the scorpion, who not only stings others but is said to sting its own self too. Mars if debilitated, in watery signs or in any way connected to Saturn or Rahu is a pattern which can predispose towards violence. (ie Saturn aspected by Mars, Mars in the same trikon as Rahu etc. Always look for patterns.)

Manglik combination is considered dangerous for this very reason. The passionate, vengeful, intense, drilling, fiery Martian energy needs to be directed away from the spouse/children, but this often does not happen in real life and the aggression rips into the family life causing turmoil. We cannot call this behaviour outrightly ‘criminal’ but if there are more patterns and the person starts enjoying his aggression then yes it will be a criminal mindset. (I know someone with a debilitated Mars in ascendant, 8th house Saturn, ie Saturn aspected by Mars. I have seen him tearing apart others auras with his energy/words! He knows what he is doing and does not feel bad about it)

Rahu is the North node of the Moon. He is the power of temptation, illusion, deception, desires, cheating, hiding, risk-taking, cruelty, rage, crimes, anti-social disruptive actions, immoral activities etc. He makes one unafraid of any type of repercussions, ie physical, emotional, spiritual. In your ‘suspect’ charts, analyse Rahu in depth. Any connection of Rahu with Mars needs to be examined. This person can literally be a ball of fire! But rage or deception by itself is not criminal, the other patterns should also exist where the person enjoys the act and also tends to repeat it again. If Rahu has some connection with Saturn then examine this too as this person can cleverly break the social, moral, etc boundaries.

Saturn is the planet of restrictions and lawful karmic action. But if such a Saturn is incapable of giving auspicious results he will make you immune to all reasonable controls on behaviour. This can be seen as actual violence, or you make others afraid of you, or you make them feel guilty and thus exploit them. You will derive strange satisfaction when you restrict others! This is a very typical nature of Saturn in his malefic form. If associated in any way with the 7th house he can suffocate all one-one relationships. The other person is driven away by the coldness and the forbidding nature of the Saturn. Saturn in Scorpio or in the 8th house or linked with Mars is not good.

Jupiter can help the situation if it is not too bad. But before putting too much reliance on Jupiter’s aspects check how much power does he have to give auspicious results. Is he a functional benefic or a functional malefic for that chart?

The lord of the 3rd house and the power of the 3rd house. This is a very important point that should be seen in detail. This is the way you choose to think and act. The 6th 8th and 12th house lords are functional malefics and can cause inauspicious results. Look into the power of these houses for more pointers. 6th is action, 8th is trauma and catastrophic changes and 12th is all hidden things including isolation and incarceration.

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However if the Ascendant lord, the Sun and the Moon in the birth chart are free of malefic influences, are auspicious and capable of giving favourable results then even if there are evil tendencies indicated by other patterns, these generally will not expressed in real life. Strong and auspicious Kendra houses, 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th houses in the birth chart are also very important as they grant stability and the ability to review, reconsider and revaluate actions. Note the power of the sign occupying the first house of the Navamsha chart, the planets placed in it and its owner planet, if these are auspicious then the personality is further strengthened. (But if there are malefics in this 1st house in the Navamsha, the core of the personality is not very good)

So to say that someone is a criminal is not so easy. Intention and action both have to exist. Mind and Body both have to inflict the hurt on the other person, again and again. The aggressor’s Will is affected, the moral courage to take the right stand is missing, faulty logic exists, selfishness is paramount, desire to gain at any cost is strong, a wish to dominate over others exists, possible harm to others is irrelevant and there is the physical or psychological power and courage to commit such acts repeatedly. The victim can be anyone, girlfriend/ boyfriend, sister, brother, husband/ wife, parents, children, friends, pets, animals. And the abuse can be emotional or physical or in any other form.

Finally, the tendencies of the birth Moon chart and the Navamsha chart should percolate and be evident in the birth chart D-1. And the triggers will be, as always, the current Dasha/transits.

 

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Abusive spouse from the horoscope

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All of us want a happy married life, with a loving husband/wife, sweet children, domestic peace and harmony. Then again as married couples know, marriage, just like any other relationship has its ups and downs, and most of us are ok with that. But for a few of us this dream of a happy marriage shatters completely as we face up to the reality of an abusive spouse.

Most Indian parents match the charts of their children before getting them married to avoid problems later. But sooner or later you will get a client who says that he/she is being abused in the marriage. Abuse can be on several levels, physical hurts even murder, psychological, mental, financial, jealousy, control, domination, blaming, etc. Both the husband and the wife can be cruel, I have seen both examples. However the woman is more likely to try and seek help. In cases where the wife is abusing the husband, he generally remains silent unable to speak out regarding his misery.

You might be given horoscopes of both the husband and wife. Generally the question is if they should try to conciliate or go for a divorce. You should analyse the victim’s chart for specific pointers for ‘victim-hood’. Check the chart of the spouse if he is involved himself or is it his family doing the torture. If the spouse is clearly the aggressor. Or is he a mute by-stander while his family is abusing the spouse. (In one eg. it was the brothers of the wife were abusing the husband). If you get their children’s horoscopes too, they might show typical combinations where the parents do not get along well together, ie their 4th, 10th houses will show the effects.

In this situation generally everyone either lies or exaggerates, so be dispassionate, check the horoscope for the truth, or refer to a prashna kundali for confirmation.

Abusive spouse from the horoscope

First the houses, check if there are overt malefic influences and no supportive beneficial influences. Go through the following houses, depending on what kind of a problem is being described by the victim you will see the patterns.

Some typical combinations. Fiery or dissociative planets like Sun, Mars, Saturn, and Rahu /Ketu in the 1st or 7th house can indicate the violent nature of the spouse. Any association of Venus and Rahu should be examined with due care, ie even if they are in the same trikon they can influence each other. They can give affairs outside marriage. Look into the relationship of 3rd and 6th houses with Mars, Moon and ascendant lord. Another pattern is if the ascendant lord and the lord of 7th are in the 6/8 axis. (eg Cancer ascendant, Moon in 3rd house, Saturn in 8th house, the 6/8 axis operating). If the owner of the ascendant or 7th house with the nodes/ functional malefics. If the 2nd 4th 7th houses together are damaged at birth or in transit there is a marital problem with clashes in the family/house, etc.

  • The ascendant sign i.e. the 1st house will indicate the personality and the environment that the person has.
  • 2nd house – indicates the birth family of the person. Sometimes the birth family does not support the person if he/she complains of problems in the in-laws house. (I saw one horrific example where the father point-blank refused to support his daughter. She was left with nowhere to go, died soon after.)
  • 3rd house – can indicate a potential criminal mind-set (read a post here)or the involvement of the siblings.
  • 4th house – the environment of the home where he/she lives, the birth mother, the father-in-law. Analyse this in detail.
  • 6th house – problems that the person faces, debt, enemies, infamy, bad luck, slavery, servitude, being sold off?
  • 7th house – relationship with the life partner and social status after marriage. this house will require detailed analysis.
  • 8th house – organs of reproduction, hormonal issues, marital-relations, accidents, surgeries, secrets which can create traumas, etc. The family of the spouse. The 8th house is catastrophic transformations, which also includes marital abuse, divorce, widowhood, death etc. It indicate impotency or deviant sexual habits which can exacerbate domestic violence. Malefics here, even if they own that same sign can cause problems. Analyse this house critically.
  • 10th house – the specific mother-in-law
  • 12th house – subconscious hate, guilt, suppressed feelings, things that happen behind closed doors in secret, behaviours in the bedroom.

Now check the planets for their power to give auspicious/inauspicious results. The ascendant house/ lord, the birth Moon and the 7th house/ lord in the birth chart are especially important. If these are strongly placed there may be problems but the marriage might survive but if these are severely damaged then the possibility of divorce cannot be ruled out.

  • Ascendant lord – how well does the personality and the environment match. Is the personality stable, well-adjusted or not
  • Moon – Identifying criminal tendencies and perversions of the mind is linked to the position of the birth moon. The mind-set as a whole. If he is afflicted by cruel and malefic planets.
  • Sun – a very powerful Sun in the spouse’s house invariably means unhappiness in the marriage. If this strong Sun further occupies the 1st 4th 7th 10th houses, this person ignores the spouse, can be ruthless, dominant and psychological torture cannot be ruled out.
  • Jupiter: as a significator of husband Dharma-pati, marital auspiciousness. If there are any positive aspects of Jupiter on the 7th house or its lord, he can reduce the malefic impacts. But if he is stopped from giving his beneficial results then the problems can be aggravated.
  • Venus: pleasures in marriage. pleasures outside marriage. If with Rahu/Ketu or influenced by the malefics can indicate extra marital affairs.
  • Mars: if damaged can indicate a jealous, violent and aggressive, nature, sexual energy, accidents, physical violence, murders, surgeries, trauma, risky behaviour etc. This is why a Manglik nature is considered risky in marriage. This means that Mars in the 1st, 4th, 7th, 8th and 12th houses counted from your ascendent or even your birth Moon. Mars aspecting 7th house/lord. So analyse Mars carefully.
  • Saturn: can give fear, guilt, dejection, insensitivity, strictness in the marriage. There is little or no love if the 7th house is in any way connected to Saturn (you will get classic examples in some Cancer and Leo ascendants).
  • Rahu: can give tendency towards harshness, lying, socially unaccepted behaviour, cheating, psychological issues etc. Mars or Saturn or Rahu combination in any way can give violent traits. eg Mars aspecting Saturn, Saturn aspecting Rahu, Rahu and Mars in same trikon, or Saturn in scorpio etc. You will see patterns in the horoscope.
  • Ketu: can give an erratic nature, sly, not concerned about the spouse/marriage, cold, psychological issues etc.

Finally go through the transits/ Dashas. Even if the horoscope shows negative readings, if the dasha is of a supportive planet then severe negative results do not show up. ie If the Dasha periods after the marriage event are of auspicious planets as per the person’s chart there may be some painful events from time to time but the situation does not get really bad. The marriage survives so you can predict some hopeful results in the future. And do look for such patterns which can help the marriage survive. We are supposed to counsel and help the clients not scare them out of their wits.

But if the ongoing Dasha periods are of the malefics in the chart who will actively cause havoc in the marriage then the clashes start and continue on high pitch levels. Transits over the 1st, 7th houses, the birth Moon can cause temporary issues or bring a simmering situation to a boil. (If you have any Cancer or Leo ascendants in your sample study, for the next 5yrs Saturn will be transiting Capricorn/ Aquarius, this is a very significant transit for these people). The role of current transits/Dashas is important in analysis, and the future transits/dashas are essential for predictions so take time over it. (Astrologer’s keep track of the planet’s current position in the skies, over time it becomes a habit to mentally superimpose these positions over the birth charts. But to begin with draw the chart on paper and use a different colored pens.)

Abusive spouse from the horoscope

Finally remember that there should be at least 3 or more combinations in the birth chart and these should be powerful enough to cause the unhappiness in marriage. Just one combination does not make a reading. The current transit/ dashas should activate that tendency of the birth chart ie its influence should be active at that point of time. This is making a very personal judgement on someone’s personality, married life etc so do analyse properly.

One point is this, the birth chart has to show the ‘victim’ combinations for the abuse to occur in real life. The moon chart is used as extra data.

  • eg if the Moon chart shows ‘victim’ combinations but the basic birth chart is auspicious. And the chart of the spouse shows that he is incapable of abusing anyone. Then this means that the person is living a good life but her own mindset is not allowing her to enjoy it and the claim of intentional abuse is not correct. She would then require some psychological counselling.

In my opinion these are the most difficult cases to judge. It is a traumatic situation in the first place and if there are children then the trauma for the little ones is very intense.  Advising some one to continue the marriage or go for a divorce is a very difficult analysis especially if there are children involved. If the children’s charts are a bit supportive then also you can advise them to remain together for the sake of the children, ‘agree to disagree’ types. But every situation is different.

If you see danger to the life/ health of the victim spouse and the children, you can ask them to consider a temporary separation till the triggering transit/ dasha passes over. (eg, a client couple separated and reconciled 14yrs later. They already had one daughter and 15yrs later they had one more son.) But if the situation is irreversible then a legal divorce remains the most logical option. However all these are very sensitive issues so do handle them with due tact. As astrologers, we must not get involved personally in any client’s life else it becomes our karma too. But because it is our karma to see the charts and counsel, we must always follow the predictive principles, our intuition and our conscience. This sometimes is analysing the darker side of human nature.

Also read this post on Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope.

Abusive spouse from the horoscope