Thoth Tarot and personal growth

I was asked to write something on Tarot so I wrote one post on how to interpret a relationship spread here. I am using brief straightforward meanings, not esoteric ones, as these posts are meant for you to get interested and if possible learn Tarot. I suggest, “The Crowley Tarot: The Handbook to the Cards” by Hajo Banzhaf. (Later if you can, do read books written by Aleister Crowley to get the esoteric stuff. Then your readings will gain more depth. And of course practice is essential.) 

Thoth Tarot and personal growth

I really started learning Thoth Tarot after the most emotionally hurtful incident in my life. Someone (a brother) whom I love deeply (still) and consider to be my home, argued with me to such levels that I left his house literally crying. Despite knowing Jyotish, despite knowing that this was to happen today, I had to go through that event. Some karma cannot be avoided. Words, either said aloud or left unsaid, damage relationships beyond repair (which then have to be made up in future lives). That was the lowest emotional point of my life. So rather than feeling upset all the time, I decided to brush up on Tarot. I like Aleister Crowley’s horoscope, a genius and his Thoth Tarot is magic.

The Thoth has a visual impact which no other deck has. The esoteric symbols on the cards trigger things from the sub-conscious mind/ inner self and bring forward the exact information needed. Every card is intricate and intense. When you shuffle and spread out the cards, the energy of the moment makes you focus on some aspects of the cards which you then interpret. The Reader reads the Tarot from his own perspective and the energy of the moment drives him. The client should not take a photograph of the spread to another Reader and ask him to interpret it. If the client wishes for a second opinion he should ask the other Reader to shuffle and lay out the cards again. The cards modulate themselves as per the Reader’s capacity. Tarot indicates the truth of the matter. If you have a card in front of you and remember something, it is because the card wanted to show you this image. You cannot ‘unsee’ whatever flashed in your mind. The impact is visual and on the energy levels. You are made to understand something about the situation, you may like it or not.

I am emphasising this as Thoth Tarot cards are magic, you are shown what you need to see. The cards have an intelligence of their own. Aleister Crowley had performed occult rituals over the cards and infused them with some things ‘magic’. (I have seen only one other deck with such energies, the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot with the energies of the African gods infused in them, ultra-intense, handle-with-care.)

Thoth Tarot should ideally be used as a tool for self-development. Here I am sharing a reading I did for myself a few days ago. It was my Sat-guru’s 115th birth anniversary and I was missing him very much. He is always available to me at every moment, but sometimes I wish I could talk/see him live like earlier. I use the Tarot to talk to him, I like seeing the cards he shows me.

So for my blessing/ guidance, I got the Ace of Cups, The Lovers, The Star.

Ace of Cups is the burst of Divine Love. My Sat-Guru poured over me the highest benediction of his compassion, his infinite kindness. Rejuvenation and healing (I was going through a karma from my past, my astral body was suffering). An assurance that my sorrows will be converted to spiritual love (Ketu in Sagittarius bringing painful karmic stuff from my past, with the associated grief). A reminder to increase my spiritual practice. To trust him, the Highest Intelligence and let him fill my heart with that what he can give, ie the essence of the Non-Dual. This card brought genuine joy to my soul.

The Lovers Trump no.6. I have briefly mentioned about the Lovers card in this post. But this reading is about self-discovery so the interpretation will be slightly different. This meant that he, the Eternal Intelligence, loves me (I was very unloved at that time). I will find my deepest one-one relationship with my own self. I have to focus on what I desire to achieve it. A reminder to increase my spiritual practice, my Soham mantra, to walk my path with conviction. The strength to resolve my own internal dualities (I was deeply conflicted internally). He granted me the energy of unconditional love and the ability to choose what to do with this energy. (There is always some free will, even if the options are limited, you can still choose to some extent. This is the essence of the Game of Creation, Lila, everyone chooses to either create more karma or to stop creating karma) 

The Star, Trump no. 17. I have written about the Star card in this post. It shows the Prakruti creating the manifested universes from the Eternal energy. The realised souls depicted by butterflies are shown moving out from the created worlds. Both evolution/Pravrutti and involution/Nivrutti is depicted beautifully. The energy of this card is Hope. To give someone Hope is the greatest gift possible. In the spiritual context, I was again told in the gentlest possible way to concentrate on the universal love. To trust my Sat-guru and that I will achieve my deepest desire. He knows the difficult times I have gone through in my past and he encourages me to be happy. Things are brighter as he will guide me to Myself. (The Star is in sequence after the no. 16 Tower, Tower indicates complete destruction. After complete destruction, Hope arises). 

Love relationships and the Moon signs

Life is karma, if you have given out love you will get it back. If you have hurt someone, it will also be returned to you. No one is exempt from this law.

For me, ‘past’ does not mean just this life’s past. The past months since the 26th Dec solar eclipse have been quite traumatic as it is. But I also remember so very many of my past lives, work, incidents, debts, decisions the repercussions, my deaths etc with the emotional/ visual contexts. I know several of my past identities, my families, the places I was born/lived/died, my several past names, Gurumohini, Putala, Jagat, Jan-Prosper etc. Some truly horrific things which happened to me which very few suffer through, intense pain. I see my own mistakes due to which others suffered, regrets. My actions taken in in good faith rebounding on others and on myself, betrayals and hurts. Someone whom I loved with all my heart, I could do anything for him/her, but possibly he/she loved me too but never could trust me, unrequited love. Someone whom I trusted betrayed me and my people, so much to make up to so many people. I know these people from back then and also who they are now around me, new faces but with the same aura/energy.

I have a very powerful Ketu in my current life, he grants me all my psychic and intellectual abilities. More than my superbly placed ascendant lord, more than my Yogkarak, Ketu rules over my life. His energies always trigger stuff from the Past for me, the unbalanced stuff which I have to balance now, I have no option on this. This unrolling of karma started in real earnest when I met my husband, the only love of my lives, in my Ketu-Rahu-Rahu Vimshottari period. And became even more intense when I met someone from several lives with loads of mutually pending karma, during my Venus-Rahu-Ketu Vimshottari period.

Some people think seeing past lives is exciting and romantic, believe me it is not. It is an unfinished business which you have to complete now. Causes severe turmoil on the emotional, astral, physical levels. You rarely see events from the past which made you happy. You are always shown your unfinished work, the karmic debts you owe others. It is karma demanding rebalance and it gets very exhausting.

My Sat-Guru was a Jivan-Mukt, he had realised the Nirvishesh Brahma so was Parabrahma himself. He is the pure Advaita and every guidance/ blessing he gives can be nothing but the Advaita, even if I tell him to speak in the language of the Thoth tarot. So when I ask my Sat-guru and pull out cards with the intention that this is his guidance and blessing, I do get truly magical cards. The very act of pulling them out and seeing them changes the energies around me. Hopefully this 3 card intense reading, ending in the Star Trump is my Sat-guru telling me that the past is truly over.

Every divination tool teaches you to trust the higher power, the inner self. Make sense of what is happening to you. Helps letting go, leaving things to karma, removing yourself from that binding of hurt. Trust the Sat-guru the Advaita. I had written about forgiveness. Sometimes in life you are put in such situations where you are required to forgive someone who does not understand what hurt his words/actions did to you. If you learn a divination method do use it as a means for self-development. Try to remain dispassionate during the reading so that you can reach the truth of the situation. Avoid pre-conceived ideas during this process of self-discovery. If you at least know why things are like this, maybe you can reconcile yourself better to the situation.

Thoth Tarot and personal growth

7 thoughts on “Thoth Tarot and personal growth

  1. Sam April 18, 2020 / 1:17 pm

    If all your posts brim with a lot of wisdom, this one is overflowing with Soul. And Love. This one is definitely one of my personal favourites and one that I’m going to cherish, since I personally love Tarot. Thank you for sharing personal details, they make this one really soulful and…pure. Please continue writing as you do, and hopefully more on tarot too. Thank you and lot of love. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • astrologerbydefault April 18, 2020 / 1:59 pm

      Hi there,
      Thank you..
      i did write this to bring out this side of the Thoth, it helps release
      I love this deck. It has been of great help to me on the personal levels in the past several years. Each card if Intelligent in a very cryptic way, pull them out with the correct intention and one can change things …
      I have seen people crying silently during their readings as the cards help resolve inner conflicts.
      Some people are scared of the Thoth and Crowley but i he was a genius and am grateful tht he created this deck..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. shantipreacher April 18, 2020 / 6:24 pm

    Hello Ma’am, how can one infuse vedic astrology and tarot? What are some good resources for astro-tarot?

    Lastly Ma’am, I know you’ve stopped paid consultations, but can you please guide anyone with astrology/other divination methods?


    • astrologerbydefault April 18, 2020 / 8:46 pm

      Hi there,
      I dont mix systems, If i am reading with Thoth i will use Crowley. If I pull out the Runes then I use only the Runes philosophy.
      Jyotish is Jyotish, If i open the horoscope i will speak only as per Parashar.
      Each system is perfect in its own way and there is no point in mixing them..

      I dont read from any other Tarot deck, it is only Thoth for me.
      I find RWS very shallow. Dowsons deck is good but just black and white is limiting the energy of the cards. I have a copy of the Marseilles deck, but i find it too tedious.

      So its only Crowley’s Thoth for me. Hajo banzaff’s book is a good starter book but then if you want to read with Thoth, Crowleys own books are a necessary read.

      as far as guidance is concerned, if there are any questions and I know the answers then i can write a post on it..

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Malu June 10, 2020 / 8:15 pm

    Dear ma’am,

    When connecting with guides to help get answers from Tarot cards, who would you recommend is best to call.
    Can it be my upasana moorthi, like Hanuman or Ganapati dev.

    Since guides are mentioned as Angels, who can be Angels connected to Vedas and Puranas.

    Example can call upon the 33 Gods and Ganadevas. E.g. 8 vasus.

    What is the best way to have a Guide like God or Angel who loves me.

    Thank you.


    • astrologerbydefault June 10, 2020 / 10:00 pm

      Hi there

      I ask my Guru, the Advaita, the Parabrahma to give me the answers..
      When i use any sort of divination tool, from jyotish, tarot, cartomancy, runes anything, I use it with the power of the eternal Advaita backing it..

      all these are just tools, it is my mind, my perceptions, my energy driving them, the answers are basically going to come from my subconscious not the tools..

      if you read Crowley or even Waite you will realise that the ‘angels of tarot’ are not the gentle benign energies which people today think them to be..

      in fact Crowley himself used iChing more than he used tarot cards! just because he did not trust the energies of the ‘angels of tarot’..

      in fact the energies of iChing are more gentle and reliable than tarot’s angels who are rather unpredictable and have a mind of their own..

      but you can call on your own isht-devata, Gayatrai mantra, Ganapati .. I would recommend that you call any deity from Sanatan Dharma on whom you have complete faith rather than any angels and stuff.. if you are doing upasana of any deity then request this deity to help you in reading the tarot.. it would be the best option..

      I do not call on any sort of guardian angel.. coz i have seen several times that they have their own agenda .. I would classify them as entities, conscious beings with an agenda. personally i have seen them causing more trouble than offering help in the long run..

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Malu June 10, 2020 / 11:16 pm

    Thank you ma’am. This was helpful for me.


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