What attracts us and what makes us attractive? Make-up, nice clothes, shoes, a good job, skin color, hairstyle? As per astrology, attraction is definitely not skin deep, it is the sum total of all your past lives, the impressions, like and dislikes that you have picked up throughout and the karmic balance goals that you are out to achieve in this life.
If you analyse your choice of partner, you will see that the ideal partner is the one who fills in your blanks. It is more like opposites attract. You subconsciously search for the missing bits in your personality. And the one who makes you feel complete is the one you love. The other is your mirror, the other half of yourself and together you both feel whole. Together you are One!
In your horoscope the 1st house, ascendent represents you in every way, physical nature, your vitality, sense of self, position in society, self esteem, ego etc. And the house opposite this, the 7th represents your life partner in every way, the nature, physical structure, role in society etc.
But a life partnership is an emotional game too. So also check out the sign occupied by your moon at birth. This will represent your emotional build and state of mind. How you respond emotionally and how you will be comforted emotionally. And your best possible emotional match will be at the sign 7th from your birth moon.
You are not just supposed to be comfortable with your partner. Remember nothing is comfortable in life. Life is a school, where you do get an occasional class off, but by and large you are expected to learn through experience. You are supposed to learn from your partner and also teach him/her.
In the zodiac of 360degrees, there are 12 signs of 30degrees each, owned by the 7 grahas. The nodes rahu and ketu do not own any of these signs. The following analysis includes by and large both physical and emotional aspects.
Aries and its best possible partner Libra
- Aries is the expression of the individual, the newly born, the first, the warrior, the competitor. He always has to be the first. Active and ambitious he is impulsive and bold. Charming and attractive he has to conquer and dominate. His energies are directed outwards. Has a sense of superior ego. He is the newly born Mars.
- Libra is balance and partnership, fairness, grace, negotiation and fair play, he can even sacrifice himself for others he loves and his ideals. He is intellectual and will seek contracts and law and will seldom lose his temper. Needs social contact and will provide support to others. He is the highly balanced Venus.
Taurus and its mirror Scorpio
- Taurus is an earthly soul with an open nature. He will work like a bullock if needed. Physically strong and may be massively built and attractive. He likes beauty. He likes to save and create visible enduring assets. He likes food and drink and society, and is expansive. Slow to anger but will respond with a crushing force if provoked. He is the Venus who has been grounded and bound to physical and material things.
- Scorpio has depths which are deep and dark. Physically he has an eerie beauty and an air of the mysterious about him. His energies are directed inwards in search of inner treasures which are invisible to the eye. Emotional and intuitive, he has the sting of a scorpion if angered. Vindictive and vengeful with a sharp tongue. The domestic life of such person can be happy only and only if every member of the family is submissive to him. He is the Mars at war with himself in the deep dark levels.
Gemini finds its soul mate in Sagittarius
- Gemini is a chatty, conversational person. Likes to communicate but may be in two minds often. Unable to take quick decisions as he likes to explore options. Mind is highly explorative and child-like. Needs company, friends. He is restless and likes change, sometimes juvenile in nature. Versatile, curious, intellectual but sometimes hide themselves and their things like a child. A Mercury who is playful and immature.
- Sagittarius is pompous maturity and preaching, can be a teacher or a priest. He has lofty ideals and goals which encompass the entire humanity. Likes the outward show of spirituality. He is full of big plans and energy. He is serious and pedantic and not chatty like his favoured partner Gemini. He is the Jupiter, expansive and filled with notions of self importance.
Cancer is deeply attracted to Capricorn and like wise
- Cancer is a highly emotional, highly changeable person. Delicately beautiful and attractive and also attracted to change and beauty. An artist aware of the subconscious energies. These persons can consider remaining unmarried if they have realised the highly spiritual side of their personalities. Can shine solitary. Does not need a reference point of a group then. The Moon is the Mind conquering the Consciousness.
- Capricorn is a highly regulated person, saturnine in nature. Aware of the society and a social climber, calculative and business-like. Aware of money and his position in the society. Hardworking and strict with little imagination and little interest in the spiritual. Will believe what he can see nothing imaginary. Not very much into the marriage as their first love is the social status and money. They want to be a part of the group and yet stand first in context of the group. The Saturn who rises from the servant classes as their leader.
Leo and Aquarius are made for each other, though their married life is not very happy.
- Leo makes for a highly individual person with a big ego. He has to be in the center of the stage always, wants to shine personally. Does not bother with the group. He is intelligent and radiant. He is the King, head of organisations. He shines alone. Cannot save and will spend money without thought. Leos can remain unmarried through out their lives if they have a stage where they are in the spotlight. He is the Sun, the center of everything.
- Aquarius is a person of the networks, of the markets, generally one of the crowd, a leader too, but a leader of the masses. He wants to take the group along. He too is more wrapped up in his group rather than his marriage. Will work and work for the common assests of the group. Hardworking, restrictive personality, orderly, he may be miserly, dour and gloomy like a servant. May not be beautiful, is saturnine. The Saturn who works and slaves away for the subjects.
Virgo and Pisces fill each others blanks.
- Virgo is argumentative and logical, orderly and methodical. Highly nervous and high strung, hard working service oriented persons. Has little faith in divine and high expectation in human intelligence. Likes talking and communication but is distrustful and plagued by self doubts. Interested in superficial details and commercial communication. He will be very active and practical but physically weak. He has a tendency to self medicate or addictions. In a marriage, a Virgo will always play the complaining victim , accusatory and will argue on depressing reasons “why the marriage is unbalanced, unfair, exploitative, unsatisfactory etc”. Mercury at his sharp critical best.
- Pisces is more expansive and intuitive with access to ancestral memory. Live a life in the subconscious realm of which they are not aware. He can be a good astrologer, card reader and help humanity. He is humane and over-generous, over-liberal. Has depths of which he himself is unaware. In a marriage he are jealous by nature and may patronise his partner. He generally floats through marriage and has romantic expectations. His energies are directed inwards in the subconscious realm and outwards in the conscious realm, clueless. He is the Jupiter who has expanded in the realms of dreams and fantasy.
So if you look at the rashi pairs above, the following graha pairs are the “fill in the blanks” for each other. These are the mirror images of each others. In matching a horoscope, even if the above sign pairs do not tally, check out the strengths of the grahas. A dominant Mars personality will always seek out a dominant Venus personality and like wise.
- Mars and Venus – Mars will teach Venus competition and boldness. Venus will teach him negotiation and beauty.
- Mercury and Jupiter – Mercury will criticise Jupiter to puncture his pedantic and pontificating style. Jupiter will teach Mercury to expand and get to the depths rather than arguing on the surface.
- Moon and Saturn – Moon will teach Saturn emotion and imagination, living life easy. Saturn will restrict and teach Moon on how to complete his commitments.
- Sun and Saturn – Sun will teach the Saturn to be a leader who stands out and is acknowledged. Saturn will teach the Sun the problems of the masses and that the king has to ultimately serve his subjects.
These are the hardest lessons of them all, when you have to understand something that is exactly opposite to your own nature. And these are the karmic lessons most necessary of all too. So the ones who teach them are the ones we love the most. It is for this love that we endure hardships and understand contrary mental processes. Partnership in marriage is the most difficult, but the most rewarding. The one person you are closest to, the one you have promised vows in front of the scared fire, you learn the hardest lessons from him/her.
And you allow it because you love.