Saturn and Moon emotional betrayal and trust issues

When you learn astrology, you will be taught to see things from the ascendant sign, the regular birth chart. No one stresses on the importance of the birth Moon chart which, in my opinion, is more significant. Material things are seen from the birth chart but their emotional contexts are from the birth Moon chart. A strong birth Moon chart helps you make sense of the material world in a balanced manner.

Saturn with Moon in the birth chart will have other physical and material interpretations, but in this post I am writing on just the emotional context.

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Saturn is restriction, fear, dullness, depression, work load, tight schedules, karmic implications, practicality, pragmatism, etc. The negative emotional patterns from past lives which you are required to work on. He creates situations where you pay off your karmic debts and learn life lessons. The Moon is your astral body, your emotional states, intuitive self and your Mind. He allocates energy received from Sun to the other graha. He the fastest graha, Saturn the slowest. Moon at Ajnya chakra, Saturn at Muladhar. Their natures are dissimilar so if they get together they create conflicts.

Saturn aspecting or conjunct your birth Moon is an restrictive combination. All your energy is consumed in rebalancing your karmic debts. Your debts are sitting right in front of your Mind, staring at it, demanding attention and resolution. And the changeable Mind cannot bring itself to focus on this elephant in the room. It tries to change the subject and aggravates its problems. Even if this Saturn is exalted or a benefic for your ascendant or your Moon is exalted or everything is aspected by more benefics, he will oppressively influence your Mind. He will scare you out of your wits on the astral, subconscious, dream, intuitive etc levels, until you decide to resolve the emotional issues he represents. 

Significantly Saturn will not let you trust easily in the parts of life that he controls, because you have been emotionally betrayed several times in your past lives here. You carry the energy of hurt within your astral self and subconsciously expect others to hurt you even now, as the pattern repeats.

And Moon does not let your Saturn work effectively, interferes with his planning and execution process. You tend to leave projects halfway, ie do not have the mental energy to take projects to their logical conclusion. The changeable Moon is too fast for the slow Saturn to handle.

Saturn and Moon both interfere with each other’s mode of functioning. This negative pattern from your past has come to the forefront in this life, so try to resolve it now. If you do not address it this time too, it will repeat in your future lives.

About 33% of the population has this combination ie serious trust issues linked with an inexpressible fear. There are four possible positions, 

  • Saturn Moon together
  • Saturn aspecting Moon with his 3rd aspect ie placed 11th from Moon.
  • Saturn Moon mutual aspect, opposition.
  • Saturn aspecting Moon with his 10th aspect, ie placed 4th from Moon.

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Saturn conjunct Moon 

This indicates a severe emotional restriction, you cannot find deep satisfaction in anything. Maintaining active interest for longer periods is difficult, mental tiredness is common. Everything is duty for you, there is no satisfaction. This constrictive energy pervades throughout the astral self/ environment, thus the entire material life is afflicted. The past life connect is that practically everyone betrayed you, so trusting others now is difficult. Also you have not been true to yourself ie have compromised your own integrity for some selfish reason in the past, so now you cannot trust your own self either. You are serious, mature, etc on the outside, but very alone, anxious, worried, afraid, non-confident on the inside. You feel separated from yourself and everyone else in some undefinable way.

Consider the sign and the house counted from the ascendant sign. Eg Virgo can mean a negative impression from a life where you were required to serve, perhaps a servant who was beaten to death, or a wife whose husband did not allow intimacy. Saturn in Scorpio can mean sexual harassment or death during delivery. Saturn in the 12th can mean someone who was never given the time to rest and sleep, overworked to the point of death etc. 

If you get a combination like this in your practice, the personality will at least be willing to work on himself. Saturn’s influence on the Moon makes the Mind more amenable to following schedules etc once convinced. And once the Moon cooperates, the karmic balance will be resolved. This will be easier after both Moon and Saturn mature and during the trigger Dasha and transits.

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Saturn Moon in opposition

Saturn’s 7th aspect is detrimental in a different way. The emotional connect with your 7th house, ie your beloved, your mirror, your fill in the blanks, your missing half, your dark half, your connect with your divine Self, the one that you seek the most, your personal spiritual practice and all your one to one partnerships is affected. For most of us, 7th is the loved life partner, so Saturn makes it difficult to trust the spouse. You are scared to do so. Saturn in the 7th is an expectation of separation, hurt, anxiety etc, ie you subconsciously expect your 7th house things to kick you in your face. So you try to cover this fear in several ways, eg being cold or dutiful or overly responsible or try to provide your spouse all material things etc as per your chart’s tendency. Overall very meticulous with these 7th things, you take them seriously. If you trust these things/people, they might betray you on the emotional level. Trusting again, ie opening yourself again emotionally is difficult. 

Emotional betrayal is more intense. This is when you trust someone, do everything that you can think of for him, put this person above yourself etc till one fine day he does/says something that makes you feel that he is not worth it. He may not realise what he has done. But it tears into your soul, your mind cracks and the world turns dark. Saturn in the 7th from the Moon completely drains the energy of your astral personality/ environment. He hits your emotional balance very deeply in a way nothing else can. And even if you continue your relationship, the emotional trust may never come back.

The past life connect is that, you were abandoned by your beloved husband/wife, maybe your husband married another woman, threw you out of the house, your wife died prematurely, your wife was cold to you, in any case, you were all alone. You expected happiness, instead were put in a terrible situation. These emotions of grief, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, etc hit you severely and remained unresolved in your mind till your physical death. Negative emotions cannot be suppressed nor left unacknowledged. Doing this lets them to enter deep into your astral self. You were deeply tormented, especially on the emotional levels in your past marriages and are scared to risk opening yourself to a loved one again. Thus your Moon Saturn in opposition. Resolving this specific combination can be traumatic. As you start working on yourself, first the full blast of that past negative emotion hits you in its full form. You relive that pain, as if it is happening in the now, this can be very bad phase.

For resolving Saturn birth Moon opposition, first accept that this is a karmic script, you chose this experience in this life to resolve it once and for all. Most likely this current loved one is the same person in all those lives who hurt you in the first place. The two of you are tied by a confusing mix of deep love overlaid by this energy of betrayal. There are two options of resolving this, 

  1. Accept that you will not be able to trust others easily. If you choose this option you will have to give your 7th house things an outlet, ie find some internal emotional balance. Personal spiritual practice will help fill the emotional void that this combination represents. ie try to connect with your higher self within you.
  2. Or learn to let go. Accept that some things are not going to be ideal. Try to see the positive in every situation. ‘Grow up’ emotionally in relationships, tone down your expectations. This too will not be so easy, support from your inner self and personal spiritual practice will be necessary.

One other possibility is that you were an ascetic in your several past lives. You died before achieving Moksh and want to continue your path now. Check for supporting combinations in your current chart. If this option seems right for you then try to actively do some spiritual practice so that you feel more satisfied internally.

In your practice, clients with Saturn Moon opposition will require more counselling than Saturn Moon conjunct. The 7th is after all the bhavat bhavam of, the subtle drain on, the 1st house.

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Saturn’s extra aspects on Moon

Saturn with his 3rd aspect on the Moon, ie placed 11th from the Moon. Here this is a upchay position, so will improve with age if you address its concerns in time, if not, then upchay will make things worse, here on the emotional front. The emotional context of the 11th house is damaged. You will feel emotionally burdened by your elder siblings, friends, groups, etc trusting them will be difficult, also they may betray you. You carry within you the negative experiences of trusting these people from your past lives, which creates anxiety and fear in these aspects of life. Gains will cause you emotional restriction, ie you will not be able to enjoy the successes that your personality/environment give you. You are emotionally dissatisfied with what you get. All this is in addition to the general restriction that Saturn has on the Mind. 

Saturn with his 10th aspect on the Moon, ie he is placed in the 4th house from the Moon. 4th house things make you uncomfortable. The 4th is the natural house of the Moon, ie Cancer is the natural 4th sign of the zodiac. Any disturbance to the 4th house/sign has an insidious impact on your Moon. So in addition to Saturn’s effect on the Mind, you suffer emotional stress from the agents of the 4th, ie mother, residence, vehicles, landed property etc. Trusting your mother or anyone from your maternal side of the family may be difficult or even not advisable. Your past lives traumatic interactions with these things do not allowed positivity about them in your current life. The 4th from the Moon is the emotional connect with the reason you incarnated yourself in this life. So the most tragic result is that here you question the purpose of your life and often feel low emotionally for no discernible reason.

However this does not mean that you should not trust these specific other people at all. If you have a strong ascendant lord/ sign, Moon has strength, Saturn is favourably placed and there are benefic influences then during the trigger Dasha and transits you can learn to trust. But be alert during the Moon mahadasha – Saturn Antardasha and the Saturn mahadasha – Moon antardasha as there will be some typical challenges during these two subperiods.

Saturn’s position is where you need to work on yourself, face your past karma, it is the road to real maturity. And here we have the emotional context which is more difficult to address. 

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The solution is to first learn to trust yourself. This line is rather banal, but how do you actually do it? You can refer to self-help books and professionals but basically try to feel happy about yourself.

You can adopt this daily 1 min routine. Look at yourself in the mirror for 1 min and think of something which makes you happy. Your eyes, a favourite jewellery, a quote, a book, a photograph, a feeling, the sun, nature, a perfume, food, person, a mantra. Try to feel happiness as you look at yourself. Next try to carry this warmth within you for the rest of your day. Keep doing this till you start feeling genuinely happier or give it 21days at least. If you are happy about yourself, your issues with trusting yourself and others will gradually resolve.

A general solution to every problem is understanding it, acknowledging it, wanting to get over it and acting to resolve it. In Jyotish there are a few options, but all of them require a strong Dharma trikon. You can resolve issues by,

  • intelligently modulating your behaviour, eg a self-love routine.
  • doing your regular spiritual practice with Soham, Gayatri Mantra, Shri Sukta etc.
  • engaging a Brahmin to do pujas for Graha shanti, ie the specific mantra of that planet is used to balance out its energy in your self/life. 
  • giving the imbalanced energy away, ie Dana. However ‘charity’ is not Daana. You have to give away the mismatched energy to a Consciousness capable of absorbing it

So if you are suffering the energies of betrayal from times past with your Saturn and Moon, do try to resolve things within you so that you can live a more emotionally satisfying life.

(In my post on the 12th house and emotional turmoil, I had mentioned a chart with Saturn 7th from birth Moon and got several requests for more on this combination.)

 

Thoth Tarot and personal growth

I was asked to write something on Tarot so I wrote one post on how to interpret a relationship spread here. I am using brief straightforward meanings, not esoteric ones, as these posts are meant for you to get interested and if possible learn Tarot. I suggest, “The Crowley Tarot: The Handbook to the Cards” by Hajo Banzhaf. (Later if you can, do read books written by Aleister Crowley to get the esoteric stuff. Then your readings will gain more depth. And of course practice is essential.) 

Thoth Tarot and personal growth

I really started learning Thoth Tarot after the most emotionally hurtful incident in my life. Someone (a brother) whom I love deeply (still) and consider to be my home, argued with me to such levels that I left his house literally crying. Despite knowing Jyotish, despite knowing that this was to happen today, I had to go through that event. Some karma cannot be avoided. Words, either said aloud or left unsaid, damage relationships beyond repair (which then have to be made up in future lives). That was the lowest emotional point of my life. So rather than feeling upset all the time, I decided to brush up on Tarot. I like Aleister Crowley’s horoscope, a genius and his Thoth Tarot is magic.

The Thoth has a visual impact which no other deck has. The esoteric symbols on the cards trigger things from the sub-conscious mind/ inner self and bring forward the exact information needed. Every card is intricate and intense. When you shuffle and spread out the cards, the energy of the moment makes you focus on some aspects of the cards which you then interpret. The Reader reads the Tarot from his own perspective and the energy of the moment drives him. The client should not take a photograph of the spread to another Reader and ask him to interpret it. If the client wishes for a second opinion he should ask the other Reader to shuffle and lay out the cards again. The cards modulate themselves as per the Reader’s capacity. Tarot indicates the truth of the matter. If you have a card in front of you and remember something, it is because the card wanted to show you this image. You cannot ‘unsee’ whatever flashed in your mind. The impact is visual and on the energy levels. You are made to understand something about the situation, you may like it or not.

I am emphasising this as Thoth Tarot cards are magic, you are shown what you need to see. The cards have an intelligence of their own. Aleister Crowley had performed occult rituals over the cards and infused them with some things ‘magic’. (I have seen only one other deck with such energies, the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot with the energies of the African gods infused in them, ultra-intense, handle-with-care.)

Thoth Tarot should ideally be used as a tool for self-development. Here I am sharing a reading I did for myself a few days ago. It was my Sat-guru’s 115th birth anniversary and I was missing him very much. He is always available to me at every moment, but sometimes I wish I could talk/see him live like earlier. I use the Tarot to talk to him, I like seeing the cards he shows me.

So for my blessing/ guidance, I got the Ace of Cups, The Lovers, The Star.

Ace of Cups is the burst of Divine Love. My Sat-Guru poured over me the highest benediction of his compassion, his infinite kindness. Rejuvenation and healing (I was going through a karma from my past, my astral body was suffering). An assurance that my sorrows will be converted to spiritual love (Ketu in Sagittarius bringing painful karmic stuff from my past, with the associated grief). A reminder to increase my spiritual practice. To trust him, the Highest Intelligence and let him fill my heart with that what he can give, ie the essence of the Non-Dual. This card brought genuine joy to my soul.

The Lovers Trump no.6. I have briefly mentioned about the Lovers card in this post. But this reading is about self-discovery so the interpretation will be slightly different. This meant that he, the Eternal Intelligence, loves me (I was very unloved at that time). I will find my deepest one-one relationship with my own self. I have to focus on what I desire to achieve it. A reminder to increase my spiritual practice, my Soham mantra, to walk my path with conviction. The strength to resolve my own internal dualities (I was deeply conflicted internally). He granted me the energy of unconditional love and the ability to choose what to do with this energy. (There is always some free will, even if the options are limited, you can still choose to some extent. This is the essence of the Game of Creation, Lila, everyone chooses to either create more karma or to stop creating karma) 

The Star, Trump no. 17. I have written about the Star card in this post. It shows the Prakruti creating the manifested universes from the Eternal energy. The realised souls depicted by butterflies are shown moving out from the created worlds. Both evolution/Pravrutti and involution/Nivrutti is depicted beautifully. The energy of this card is Hope. To give someone Hope is the greatest gift possible. In the spiritual context, I was again told in the gentlest possible way to concentrate on the universal love. To trust my Sat-guru and that I will achieve my deepest desire. He knows the difficult times I have gone through in my past and he encourages me to be happy. Things are brighter as he will guide me to Myself. (The Star is in sequence after the no. 16 Tower, Tower indicates complete destruction. After complete destruction, Hope arises). 

Love relationships and the Moon signs

Life is karma, if you have given out love you will get it back. If you have hurt someone, it will also be returned to you. No one is exempt from this law.

For me, ‘past’ does not mean just this life’s past. The past months since the 26th Dec solar eclipse have been quite traumatic as it is. But I also remember so very many of my past lives, work, incidents, debts, decisions the repercussions, my deaths etc with the emotional/ visual contexts. I know several of my past identities, my families, the places I was born/lived/died, my several past names, Gurumohini, Putala, Jagat, Jan-Prosper etc. Some truly horrific things which happened to me which very few suffer through, intense pain. I see my own mistakes due to which others suffered, regrets. My actions taken in in good faith rebounding on others and on myself, betrayals and hurts. Someone whom I loved with all my heart, I could do anything for him/her, but possibly he/she loved me too but never could trust me, unrequited love. Someone whom I trusted betrayed me and my people, so much to make up to so many people. I know these people from back then and also who they are now around me, new faces but with the same aura/energy.

I have a very powerful Ketu in my current life, he grants me all my psychic and intellectual abilities. More than my superbly placed ascendant lord, more than my Yogkarak, Ketu rules over my life. His energies always trigger stuff from the Past for me, the unbalanced stuff which I have to balance now, I have no option on this. This unrolling of karma started in real earnest when I met my husband, the only love of my lives, in my Ketu-Rahu-Rahu Vimshottari period. And became even more intense when I met someone from several lives with loads of mutually pending karma, during my Venus-Rahu-Ketu Vimshottari period.

Some people think seeing past lives is exciting and romantic, believe me it is not. It is an unfinished business which you have to complete now. Causes severe turmoil on the emotional, astral, physical levels. You rarely see events from the past which made you happy. You are always shown your unfinished work, the karmic debts you owe others. It is karma demanding rebalance and it gets very exhausting.

My Sat-Guru was a Jivan-Mukt, he had realised the Nirvishesh Brahma so was Parabrahma himself. He is the pure Advaita and every guidance/ blessing he gives can be nothing but the Advaita, even if I tell him to speak in the language of the Thoth tarot. So when I ask my Sat-guru and pull out cards with the intention that this is his guidance and blessing, I do get truly magical cards. The very act of pulling them out and seeing them changes the energies around me. Hopefully this 3 card intense reading, ending in the Star Trump is my Sat-guru telling me that the past is truly over.

Every divination tool teaches you to trust the higher power, the inner self. Make sense of what is happening to you. Helps letting go, leaving things to karma, removing yourself from that binding of hurt. Trust the Sat-guru the Advaita. I had written about forgiveness. Sometimes in life you are put in such situations where you are required to forgive someone who does not understand what hurt his words/actions did to you. If you learn a divination method do use it as a means for self-development. Try to remain dispassionate during the reading so that you can reach the truth of the situation. Avoid pre-conceived ideas during this process of self-discovery. If you at least know why things are like this, maybe you can reconcile yourself better to the situation.

Thoth Tarot and personal growth