Abusive spouse from the horoscope

All of us want a happy married life, with a loving husband/wife, sweet children, domestic peace and harmony. Then again as married couples know, marriage, just like any other relationship has its ups and downs, and most of us are ok with that. But for a few of us this dream of a happy marriage shatters completely as we face up to the reality of an abusive spouse.

Most Indian parents match the charts of their children before getting them married to avoid problems later. But sooner or later you will get a client who says that he/she is being abused in the marriage. Abuse can be on several levels, physical hurts even murder, psychological, mental, financial, jealousy, control, domination, blaming, etc. Both the husband and the wife can be cruel, I have seen both examples. However the woman is more likely to try and seek help. In cases where the wife is abusing the husband, he generally remains silent unable to speak out regarding his misery.

You might be given horoscopes of both the husband and wife. Generally the question is if they should try to conciliate or go for a divorce. You should analyse the victim’s chart for specific pointers for ‘victim-hood’. Check the chart of the spouse if he is involved himself or is it his family doing the torture. If the spouse is clearly the aggressor. Or is he a mute by-stander while his family is abusing the spouse. (In one eg. it was the brothers of the wife were abusing the husband). If you get their children’s horoscopes too, they might show typical combinations where the parents do not get along well together, ie their 4th, 10th houses will show the effects.

In this situation generally everyone either lies or exaggerates, so be dispassionate, check the horoscope for the truth, or refer to a prashna kundali for confirmation.

Abusive spouse from the horoscope

First the houses, check if there are overt malefic influences and no supportive beneficial influences. Go through the following houses, depending on what kind of a problem is being described by the victim you will see the patterns.

Some typical combinations. Fiery or dissociative planets like Sun, Mars, Saturn, and Rahu /Ketu in the 1st or 7th house can indicate the violent nature of the spouse. Any association of Venus and Rahu should be examined with due care, ie even if they are in the same trikon they can influence each other. They can give affairs outside marriage. Look into the relationship of 3rd and 6th houses with Mars, Moon and ascendant lord. Another pattern is if the ascendant lord and the lord of 7th are in the 6/8 axis. (eg Cancer ascendant, Moon in 3rd house, Saturn in 8th house, the 6/8 axis operating). If the owner of the ascendant or 7th house with the nodes/ functional malefics. If the 2nd 4th 7th houses together are damaged at birth or in transit there is a marital problem with clashes in the family/house, etc.

  • The ascendant sign i.e. the 1st house will indicate the personality and the environment that the person has.
  • 2nd house – indicates the birth family of the person. Sometimes the birth family does not support the person if he/she complains of problems in the in-laws house. (I saw one horrific example where the father point-blank refused to support his daughter. She was left with nowhere to go, died soon after.)
  • 3rd house – can indicate a potential criminal mind-set (read a post here)or the involvement of the siblings.
  • 4th house – the environment of the home where he/she lives, the birth mother, the father-in-law. Analyse this in detail.
  • 6th house – problems that the person faces, debt, enemies, infamy, bad luck, slavery, servitude, being sold off?
  • 7th house – relationship with the life partner and social status after marriage. this house will require detailed analysis.
  • 8th house – organs of reproduction, hormonal issues, marital-relations, accidents, surgeries, secrets which can create traumas, etc. The family of the spouse. The 8th house is catastrophic transformations, which also includes marital abuse, divorce, widowhood, death etc. It indicate impotency or deviant sexual habits which can exacerbate domestic violence. Malefics here, even if they own that same sign can cause problems. Analyse this house critically.
  • 10th house – the specific mother-in-law
  • 12th house – subconscious hate, guilt, suppressed feelings, things that happen behind closed doors in secret, behaviours in the bedroom.

Now check the planets for their power to give auspicious/inauspicious results. The ascendant house/ lord, the birth Moon and the 7th house/ lord in the birth chart are especially important. If these are strongly placed there may be problems but the marriage might survive but if these are severely damaged then the possibility of divorce cannot be ruled out.

  • Ascendant lord – how well does the personality and the environment match. Is the personality stable, well-adjusted or not
  • Moon – Identifying criminal tendencies and perversions of the mind is linked to the position of the birth moon. The mind-set as a whole. If he is afflicted by cruel and malefic planets.
  • Sun – a very powerful Sun in the spouse’s house invariably means unhappiness in the marriage. If this strong Sun further occupies the 1st 4th 7th 10th houses, this person ignores the spouse, can be ruthless, dominant and psychological torture cannot be ruled out.
  • Jupiter: as a significator of husband Dharma-pati, marital auspiciousness. If there are any positive aspects of Jupiter on the 7th house or its lord, he can reduce the malefic impacts. But if he is stopped from giving his beneficial results then the problems can be aggravated.
  • Venus: pleasures in marriage. pleasures outside marriage. If with Rahu/Ketu or influenced by the malefics can indicate extra marital affairs.
  • Mars: if damaged can indicate a jealous, violent and aggressive, nature, sexual energy, accidents, physical violence, murders, surgeries, trauma, risky behaviour etc. This is why a Manglik nature is considered risky in marriage. This means that Mars in the 1st, 4th, 7th, 8th and 12th houses counted from your ascendent or even your birth Moon. Mars aspecting 7th house/lord. So analyse Mars carefully.
  • Saturn: can give fear, guilt, dejection, insensitivity, strictness in the marriage. There is little or no love if the 7th house is in any way connected to Saturn (you will get classic examples in some Cancer and Leo ascendants).
  • Rahu: can give tendency towards harshness, lying, socially unaccepted behaviour, cheating, psychological issues etc. Mars or Saturn or Rahu combination in any way can give violent traits. eg Mars aspecting Saturn, Saturn aspecting Rahu, Rahu and Mars in same trikon, or Saturn in scorpio etc. You will see patterns in the horoscope.
  • Ketu: can give an erratic nature, sly, not concerned about the spouse/marriage, cold, psychological issues etc.

Finally go through the transits/ Dashas. Even if the horoscope shows negative readings, if the dasha is of a supportive planet then severe negative results do not show up. ie If the Dasha periods after the marriage event are of auspicious planets as per the person’s chart there may be some painful events from time to time but the situation does not get really bad. The marriage survives so you can predict some hopeful results in the future. And do look for such patterns which can help the marriage survive. We are supposed to counsel and help the clients not scare them out of their wits.

But if the ongoing Dasha periods are of the malefics in the chart who will actively cause havoc in the marriage then the clashes start and continue on high pitch levels. Transits over the 1st, 7th houses, the birth Moon can cause temporary issues or bring a simmering situation to a boil. (If you have any Cancer or Leo ascendants in your sample study, for the next 5yrs Saturn will be transiting Capricorn/ Aquarius, this is a very significant transit for these people). The role of current transits/Dashas is important in analysis, and the future transits/dashas are essential for predictions so take time over it. (Astrologer’s keep track of the planet’s current position in the skies, over time it becomes a habit to mentally superimpose these positions over the birth charts. But to begin with draw the chart on paper and use a different colored pens.)

Abusive spouse from the horoscope

Finally remember that there should be at least 3 or more combinations in the birth chart and these should be powerful enough to cause the unhappiness in marriage. Just one combination does not make a reading. The current transit/ dashas should activate that tendency of the birth chart ie its influence should be active at that point of time. This is making a very personal judgement on someone’s personality, married life etc so do analyse properly.

One point is this, the birth chart has to show the ‘victim’ combinations for the abuse to occur in real life. The moon chart is used as extra data.

  • eg if the Moon chart shows ‘victim’ combinations but the basic birth chart is auspicious. And the chart of the spouse shows that he is incapable of abusing anyone. Then this means that the person is living a good life but her own mindset is not allowing her to enjoy it and the claim of intentional abuse is not correct. She would then require some psychological counselling.

In my opinion these are the most difficult cases to judge. It is a traumatic situation in the first place and if there are children then the trauma for the little ones is very intense.  Advising some one to continue the marriage or go for a divorce is a very difficult analysis especially if there are children involved. If the children’s charts are a bit supportive then also you can advise them to remain together for the sake of the children, ‘agree to disagree’ types. But every situation is different.

If you see danger to the life/ health of the victim spouse and the children, you can ask them to consider a temporary separation till the triggering transit/ dasha passes over. (eg, a client couple separated and reconciled 14yrs later. They already had one daughter and 15yrs later they had one more son.) But if the situation is irreversible then a legal divorce remains the most logical option. However all these are very sensitive issues so do handle them with due tact. As astrologers, we must not get involved personally in any client’s life else it becomes our karma too. But because it is our karma to see the charts and counsel, we must always follow the predictive principles, our intuition and our conscience. This sometimes is analysing the darker side of human nature.

Also read this post on Narcissists, abusive relationships and the horoscope.

Abusive spouse from the horoscope

Ketu and karmic relationships

Ketu is the other half of the Lunar node axis. Rahu is the energy of desire for experience and Ketu is the energy of apathy to experience. Rahu- Ketu are thus very important and should be analysed carefully to get an insight into the deepest motivations of an individual. They tell you where the subconscious is directed, the flow of Experience. You can get a sense of the karmic connection between two people if their charts have some similarity in their Rahu and Ketu placement patterns.

Relationships defined by Rahu are are forward-oriented and focussed on growth potential, an opportunity to grow and accomplish some work together which perhaps either could not complete alone in this life. But relationships defined by Ketu ‘look backwards’.  These represent the experiences you have already have completed to your fill in your past lives. Ketu will diminish the things he controls in material life and give his gains on the spiritual front. And most of us are quite unaware of the spiritual. So Ketu’s gifts are neither registered nor are welcome. These learnings and the wisdom from these experiences exist with you but you are unaware, apathetic. The experiences will be the keywords related to the house Ketu is placed in, the sign/its owner planet and the planets he is conjunct/aspected by. Ketu and karmic relationships

Pull out your chart for this mini exercise. And of someone with whom you this curious feeling of ‘push-away on the material’ but a ‘pull-towards on the subconscious’ levels. Your brother/sister, parent, husband/wife, child, best friend or even your worst enemy! This is how you go about it, e.g.

  • If your Ketu is in your 11th house and your friend’s Jupiter is his 11th house, the house matters will usually not be in the focus in your material relationship together. You will feel very relaxed about this house matters, as you both will have a deep understanding regarding the matters of this house together. Your relationship will be based on the deeper patterns linked to this house.
  • You can check out the signs too, if your Ketu is in Virgo and his Mercury is in Virgo, both will never suffer from Virgo-related matters. Both of you will have a deep link related to the patterns/understanding of Virgo-matters. e.g. both of you might be in the service sector, or methodical, which will be your common link. But this effect will be less intense as compared to the houses as above.
  • The matters of the other planet will be understood subconsciously in the relationship together. Now this subconscious understanding of patterns may soothe or agitate depending on the malefic/benefic placement of Ketu. But in all cases it will be of benefit on the spiritual levels and loss on the material levels.
  • The person whose Ketu involved benefits from the planet of the other. This other planet provides the direction. And Ketu provides his energy of dissociation. Thus both move forward in the spiritual direction.

Ketu – Sun

This combination can lead to dominance of the Sun-person over the Ketu-person, so there might be initial ego-clashes. Ketu – Sun, just like Rahu-Sun, is a deeply felt soul connection. This energy if channelised well, can lead to growth in spirituality and understanding of the deeper concepts of ‘ego’, ‘self’, ‘creation’, etc. Sun is the agent of the individual soul, he hides the Universal Soul/Paramatma by his brilliant light. When Ketu obscures the individual soul, the immensity of the Universe can be viewed. Both friends, when together, will seem to radiate the Sun’s energy less and internalise it more. So this not good in the material context but can remind both of their achievements in the past lives in this context. Is is possible that the Sun-person was a Teacher or a paternal figure to the Ketu-person in some past life.

 Ketu – Moon

This diminishes the outwardly felt emotional connection with time. Both might start off feeling quite in-love with each other. Both might feel a sense of emotional security with each other initially, but this would be more ‘liberating’ not ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’. This connect would be good on the spiritual levels but not from a material or emotional levels. There may be some common subconscious experiences that they both might see. They might remember their common past lives. Over time their emotional link to each other will diminish and be replaced by a barely felt sense of ‘comfort’, ‘easiness’, ‘contentment’. But because it is Ketu, this may be barely perceptible. But if there is a possibility of spiritual growth this can work. Is is possible that the Moon-person was a maternal figure to the Ketu-person in some past life.

Ketu – Mars

This combination can work as this reduces the arguments and tensions between the two persons. The two have already worked out their disagreements in the past lives. There will be a few intense arguments in the initial phases, which in time will diminish rapidly. However with time, this particular relationship may give the Mars-person a vague sense of suffocation as his Mars energies will be internalised. This connection works better in professional relationships. It is possible that the two were linked by war, arms, or were soldiers in some past life together.

Ketu – Mercury

This connect adds depth to the expressions of a relationship. Problems can arise if the Mercury-person is too changeable and superficial and the Ketu-person is too hazy and detached. On the positive side this can initially start with good communication and common interest activities, but it can descend into plain-ness quite soon. This is not good for material or long term personal relationships. But Mercury as the owner of Gemini and Virgo is intricately linked to the creation and understanding of karma. This connect can grant learnings on the esoteric levels if both are aware of what options they have and choose well. It is possible that the two were sister/brother in some past life.

Ketu – Jupiter

The Ketu-person contributes spiritual detachment and the Jupiter person grants the understanding of this. This is a good spiritually positive connect which can last a life time. Both of them will initially have a lot of philosophies to discuss and share with each other which over time will reduce but will give a comfortable feeling of bonding. However this is not good for material gains, if this is in a marriage chart, there should be other positive influences to support, hope, higher learning, health of children etc, the material gains of marriage. It is possible that the Jupiter-person was a husband/wife, peer/patron or teacher of the Ketu-person in some past life.

Ketu and karmic relationships

Ketu – Venus

Venus is not just the ‘planet of love’, this is his lower energy form. He is in reality Daityaguru Shukracharya, with all the knowledge and seriousness that goes with it. The strictest Teacher of the most difficult students. And Rahu/Ketu is a Daitya. So Shukracharya is Rahu/Ketu’s Guru! There will always be an undercurrent of teaching and learning in this relationship. This is a very important connect which if the two use mindfully, they can achieve significant progress on the spiritual levels. This connection will start with mutual attraction but ultimately will be a platonic, spiritual one. This connect is not good for a material long term relationship. Ketu is disconnected, headless so can experience on the non-conscious levels. If Venus is operating on his highest levels this can be great, but if Venus is on his materialistic lower energy levels then this will cause frustration to both persons. Venus will express his dissatisfaction while the Ketu-Person will be vague and disinterested about it. It is possible that the Venus-person was a husband/wife/lover or teacher of the Ketu-person in some past life.

Ketu – Saturn

This is a serious connection, quite heavy duty karmic bindings from the past lives. Initially this will be a mini-repeat of the past lessons which can be restrictive, constrictive and suffocating, coupled with dissociation. Both will not be sure if they have to be together or separate. It can get unbearable in the initial phases but if the two learn through their experiences it can get better with time. However it is better for professional relationships rather than personal ones. It is possible that the Saturn-person was in a position of authority over the Ketu-person in some past life.

Ketu – Rahu

This in my opinion is the deepest and most ‘karmic’ of all possible Rahu or Ketu linked connections. This is very good for companionship in the real sense and is usually a life-time connect, growing deeper with time. A connect of two opposites who are actually One. This gives each an understanding of the other which can neither be articulated not understood completely, just experienced. There is genuine sympathy, affection and each appreciates the other’s life path intensely. The simplest reason is this, the Ketu-friend knows at the deepest levels what the Rahu-friend is going through at present, and will go through in the future. The Rahu’s present/future is Ketu’s past experience. And vice-versa! Both are astral graha, complete when with each other. Thus the two friends feel the other as the missing-link which completes each at the deepest level. But this will also lead to several misunderstandings on the material levels as they are both motivated and apathetic to exactly opposite things. It will take some time and effort to sort out things, but once they do it will be a very complete experience. (I know a couple of friends, with a Rahu-Ketu linkage in the birth chart and the same combination in their divisional chart-9, navamsha chart also. Unbelievably linked on all levels.)

Ketu – Ketu

This is the same as Rahu-Rahu because if two charts have their Rahu-Rahu together it automatically means that in both Ketu-Ketu also exists. Both persons are very similar in what they have learnt deeply from their past lives. They have gone through the same sort of experiences and internalised the same learnings in the past. Ketu in the same house (or sign) in each’s chart, will ensure that both are disconnected from similar things. Both thus have a non-conscious understanding of each other’s deepest motivations and inclinations. This is a good combination for companionship and friendship.

Ketu and karmic relationships

The finer details will depend a great deal on the house in which this connect occurs. Also keep the social and cultural background in mind. Ketu does not mean that the two will disregard the socio-cultural norms and engage in mindless aberrant behaviour. These are mental and psychological patterns you are analysing.

Synastry, i.e. matching patterns in two charts is done while matching charts for marriages. In the Indian system, matching charts is very detailed and goes into more details than what synastry (in the western context) does. However it is important to remember that on the psychological levels, the woman feels better when she receives and the man feels better when he gives. This keeps both the partners satisfied on the inner levels. So when you are checking the Nodes connection for marriage charts, keep this in mind. e.g. a woman-Ketu and man-Mars would be a much more fulfilling relationship on the psychological levels than a woman-Mars and man-Ketu connect. Or a woman-Sun with man-Ketu is better than the other way round.

Ketu’s experiences are always liberating on the spiritual levels. They will be felt as a loss on the material levels. But remember that whatever Ketu means to you, you have already given it up in your past lives. But not given up in despair! You have transcended that experience, it is a very positive thing in the spiritual context. The current Ketu position in your horoscope is a reflection of this reality. In the present life, Ketu will give at least one intense jolt of separation so that the past life’s subconscious learning gets triggered and is available in this life too. And because it is Ketu, this experience will simply slip away from your consciousness. Try to be conscious of this ‘jolt’, so that you can use its energy more effectively when this happens in your current life.

Ketu and karmic relationships

Rahu and karmic relationships

Matching charts for marriage is a routine job for an Indian astrologer. There are several rules prescribed for matching charts for a successful marriage. If the astrologer is good, he will also give an overview of the two charts seen together, a snapshot of what their life together can be like. Everyone brings in their own karma into relationships, and karma is best defined by Rahu/Ketu. I always consider Rahu- Ketu to be very valuable indicators in a chart. Even if the client has no specific questions regarding these, they should be analysed. They tell you where the subconscious is directed, pulled by the ‘desire to experience’ energy of Rahu and pushed by the ‘apathetic to experience’ energy of Ketu. Karmic relationships are those which are carried on from past lives and are more focussed on completing the unfinished karma. Relationships which are linked by Rahu are quite powerful, they are forward-oriented and focussed on growth potential. Rahu indicates karma linked to the present and the future you look forward to. A Rahu linked relationship offers a chance to both for growing and learning together in this lifetime. Also an opportunity to accomplish the work together which perhaps either could not complete alone in this life.

Rahu and karmic relationships

Pull out your and your best friend’s chart for this mini exercise. This ‘friend’, would be someone close to you, with whom you have the most intense relationship in terms of ‘experience’. Your brother/sister, parent, husband/wife, child, best friend etc. This is how you go about it,

  • e.g. If your Rahu is in your 3rd house and your friend’s Venus is his 3rd house, the 3rd house matters will usually be the focus of your relationship together. Matters of the 3rd house will be lucky for both as long as the relationship lasts.
  • You can check out the signs too, if your Rahu is in Aries and his Mercury is in Aries, both will benefit from Aries-related matters. But this effect will be less intense as compared to the houses as above.
  • Generally the matters of the other planet will be in focus in the relationship together.
  • The one whose Rahu is involved benefits from the planet of the other. This other planet provides direction and guidance to the Rahu. And Rahu provides his energy and the thirst for experience to the other planet.

Rahu – Sun

This is a very deep connect and can last a life-time. Rahu amplifies the Sun’s powers which can be good for both. The Rahu-friend gives the power, strength, desire, luck and optimism for the future. The Sun-friend gives inspiration, self-confidence, creativity, healthy sense of self-ego and leadership. The Sun-person will drive the relationship, i.e. decide the common goals that the two will pursue together. However both will have to ensure that this does not create ego problems. There may be an undercurrent of ‘father’ or ‘mentor’ type of feelings between the two.

Rahu – Moon

An emotional connect between two people which can last a life time. The Rahu-person amplifies the Moon associated qualities of the Moon-person. The relationship is more nurturing and ‘feelings’ dominate. The Rahu – person provides support of the outgoing type, physical protection etc and receives emotional nurturing from the Moon-person. Both should take care that the relationship doesn’t turn into ‘needy love’, it might then convert into a mother-child type of relationship. The Moon is the sum of your existence and Rahu is an astral force, so this relationship can be quite intense and both may remember past life incidents from their common lives.

Rahu – Mars

This is a very intense connect which can go both ways. Initially the two attract each other with their outgoing natures, high energy activities and even enjoy arguing with each other. But with time, disagreements and conflicts will increase, thus this does not make for a long term success. This relationship will be very exciting, dynamic and at times challenging. There is abundant energy, luck, desire and cooperative spirit, together against the world. They can be good in technology or brotherhood type of activities together. The Mars-friend needs to be careful about his self-ego and not hurt the Rahu-friend’s self-ego in this relationship. Also might manifest into to a on-off type of relation where both are often separated and then meet up for short intense periods.

Rahu and karmic relationships

Rahu – Mercury

This combination is quite good for long term relationship. Rahu will amplify Mercury-activities, communications, team-spirit, playing, being together etc. Both will support each other in their hobbies, interests, learning skills etc. Talking on the phone always, messaging and being in touch, both might share the same tastes and have common interests. Both find it very easy to relate to each other, laughing at the same jokes. Best friends who can complete each other’s sentences! This connect is the best possible for ‘best-buddies’ or even a successful business partner duo. Mercury is quite intricately connected to ‘desire, his Gemini is the first 1/3rd of the Kama trikon. So Rahu-Mercury can give a very successful relationship on whichever level it manifests.

Rahu – Jupiter

This is a good combination of two grahas who apparently seem to be opposite in nature. Both share hopes, higher learning and wisdom. Rahu provides the drive and Jupiter the benevolence. These two can grow with each other long-term. Both may have different view-points but in the background they both think on similar lines. This is a combination of ‘desire to experience’ and the ‘ability to philosophise’, thus together they make a great deal of sense. This connect supports both material, philosophical and spiritual growth. If these two people meet when they are older/more mature they might be better able to support each other. Experience and wisdom both balance better with age.

Rahu – Venus

This is a good connection and tends to grow deeper with time. There is scope for romance and also respect for each other. The Venus-person will give his wisdom/ love/ ‘relationship-glue’ depending on the level he is operating. The Rahu-person will protect, provide the luck, the fierceness and the common direction in their lives. This is one combination where Rahu actually feels responsible. Depending on the house in which this is happening this can lead to romance, physical relationships, marriage and other common relationship interests. ‘Attraction’ is the word around which this connection will evolve. And then the secret, there is enormous potential here, of esoteric wisdom and growth in metaphysical/ occult. Venus is not the ‘planet of love’, he is Daityaguru Shukracharya, with all the knowledge and seriousness that goes with it. The strictest Teacher of the most difficult students. And Rahu is a Daitya. So Shukracharya is Rahu’s Guru! There will always be an undercurrent of teaching and learning in this relationship. (I know two friends with this combination, they have tantric abilities way beyond their ages.)

Rahu – Saturn 

This connect can get difficult because Saturn is restriction, discipline and constriction. If Rahu amplifies all this Saturn stuff, it can create issues and the relationship might remain a short lived one. However if the house in which this is happening is a suitable environment for Saturn-Rahu then it might work wonders. e.g this can work nicely in the 3rd (personal courage), 6th (service and sufferings), 8th (death and catastrophic transformations), 11th (gains) house energies. This is quite a serious connection overall, Saturn-person helps the Rahu-person in various material ways, e.g. by systemically organising things for him in profession and work. The Rahu helps the Saturn by bringing in ‘luck’, to find legitimate short-cuts etc,innovative ways to to reduce his work load. But a Rahu-Saturn background is always serious. It is a good connection for non-personal relationships, distant relationships, group activity type of interests etc.

Rahu and karmic relationships

Rahu – Rahu

Both friends are very similar in what they desire in this life. Both want the same sort of experiences, Rahu in the same house (or sign) in each’s chart, will ensure that both are attracted to similar things. Both thus have a very deep understanding of each other’s deepest motivations and inclinations. Then Ketu-Ketu will also exist as Rahu-Ketu are 180 degrees apart. So both have similar past experiences and learning from them. This is a good combination for companionship and friendship. The only possibility where Rahu-Rahu connect can lead to a conflict is if both want the actual same thing/object/person rather than the experience. Then this can get ugly with no limits on what each can do to the other!

Rahu – Ketu

This is very good for companionship in the real sense and is usually a life-time connect, growing deeper with time. A connect of two opposites who are actually One. This gives each an understanding of the other which can neither be articulated not understood completely, just experienced. There is genuine sympathy, affection and each appreciates the other’s life path intensely. The simplest reason is this, the Ketu-friend knows at the deepest levels what the Rahu-friend is going through at present, and will go through in the future. The Rahu’s present/future is Ketu’s past experience. And vice-versa! Both are astral graha, complete when with each other. Thus the two friends feel the other as the missing-link which completes each at the deepest level. But this will also lead to several misunderstandings on the material levels as they are both motivated and apathetic to exactly opposite things. It will take some time and effort to sort out things, but once they do it will be a very complete experience. (I know a couple of friends, with a Rahu-Ketu linkage in the birth chart and the same combination in their divisional chart-9, navamsha chart also. Unbelievably linked on all levels.)

So this was just a frame work on which the Rahu-linked synastry relationship will evolve. The finer details will depend a great deal on the house in which this combination is happening. Also keep the social and cultural background in mind. Rahu does not mean that the two will break out of the socio-cultural norms and engage in aberrant behaviour. These are mental and psychological patterns you are analysing. And, since it is Rahu involved, they will always be significant, ‘the desire for experience’. If you have someone in your life with such a Rahu – synastry, analyse your this relationship in great details. It will help you understand your own self better.

Rahu and karmic relationships

Matching Charts for marriage

Families go to astrologers for matching charts of their children before getting them married. It is very important to match the charts before marriage rather than facing problems later. Even if the young man and woman are in ‘love‘ and do not want to base their decision on the charts, it is important that they go to an astrologer and at least hear to what the charts are saying. They can consider it as additional information to base their decision on. In Sanskrit, Sanatan Dharma (Hinduism) and Vedic philosophy there is no word for ‘divorce’.

Matching Charts for marriage

You will get the charts only after the families have matched their gotra, social and financial conditions. So this is how you go about matching them. Each of these points are to be seen individually for each person. Also because marriage links the persons very deeply their charts also influence each other, so these factors are also to be seen as overlaid one chart over the other.

Longevity and physical health – this is perhaps the most important parameter which has to be gauged at the start itself. The life span of both should be reasonably beyond 50yrs at least. If either of the prospective partners have indications of premature death the matching should always be rejected. Early death is always traumatic and results in great pain and unhappiness to the surviving partner and also to the children if any. You are not required to calculate the exact life expectancy of the charts, but it should reasonably cross about 50yrs of age, as most activities related to the householder’s life are complete by this age.

For the individual readings check out the following.

  • Longevity will depend on the Ascendant sign, the planets placed in the ascendant sign, the position and placement of the ascendant lord and the planets conjoint and aspecting him.
  • Also the 8th house and its lord should be similarly examined for longevity.
  • The 6th house and its lord will give indications on the possibility of physical diseases so give them a once-over.
  • And the 12th house and its lord represent the loss of the manifested, physical and visible attributes so in a way linked to health. So a quick look on this house too.

For a combined effect of one over the other check out this one important house.

  • The placement of the 7th house, the planets present and aspecting.
  • The placement of the 7th lord and the planets who are conjunct/aspecting him.
  • eg. a 7th lord placed in the 12th will indicate that the person who marries this chart will have to suffer the diseases that are in the karma of this chart’s partner, in addition to his own placements.

Matching Charts for marriage

Mental and emotional health – This is very important that both partners enjoy emotional and intellectual company with each other and also that the mind and the emotions of both remain comfortable and secure. Else it is quite possible that one person ruins the happiness of the marital home with his/her faulty mental processes. For this you will need to analyse these 2 planets.

  • Moon – This is not only the agent of the mind and emotional stability but also if afflicted can reduce the longevity of the person. Outwardly normal seeming persons can suddenly change overnight into nut-cases fit for the psychiatrists.
    • Check out in the individual horoscopes the birth moon sign
    • The house that this moon get placed into
    • The planets is is conjoint or aspecting him
    • And to check out how this person will interact emotionally with his spouse? Will he derive satisfaction/emotional security/comfort etc from his spouse? Check out the 7th house from his birth moon.
  • Mercury – He represents the mental processes, what kind of conclusions (negative/positive) do you draw from the life-events you go through. Also the ability to communicate clearly, thus there are no doubts, misunderstandings, miscommunications and suspicions between the couple.
    • Check out in the individual horoscopes the birth mercury, the sign he is placed in
    • The house that this mercury gets placed into
    • Which planets are conjoint or aspecting him
    • And to check out how this person will interact on the intellectual level with his spouse, will their thinking processes match, do check out the 7th house from his birth mercury.

Matching Charts for marriage

Possibility of multiple spouses – Since this is a marriage between 2 individuals and our society and legal systems by and large allow one spouse only, it is important to check out if there is a possibility of multiple spouses in either of the charts.

Benefic and malefic influences in the overall horoscope – Look at the overall placements in the horoscope, especially strengths of the ‘good houses’ 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 9th, 10th, 11th, the placements of benefics and the malefics. The dushamsthana 6th, 8th, 12th houses of turmoil should be vacant or not have benefic planets as far as possible. (a short explanation in this post)

The position of Mars has become quite the deciding factor in marriage matching. If someone is labelled ‘Manglik‘ then his/her marriage prospects suffer drastically. But if the above points are found to be satisfactory then this becomes more of a psychological issue about channelising the energies of Mars and with proper counselling and understanding is quite manageable.

And then we come to the last factor, the Ashtakoot matching – Here we give complete importance to the birth Moon nakshatra of the two. There are 8/Ashta groups/koot in this matching. There are a maximum of 36points and 18+ points is generally considered ok. There are several websites which can give you your score directly but have put the theory here so that you can appreciate the thought process behind this matching.

  1. Varna (1 point) – is the outward appearance/quality/strength, thinking ability and work and spiritual development.
  2. Vashya (2 points) – this indicates the interdependence between the two and whether the two will listen to each other’s opinions, i.e. the degree to which both will influence each other.
  3. Tara (3 points) – Mutual understanding, sensibility and destiny between the two is indicated from this.
  4. Yoni (4 points) –  Mutual sexual and physical compatibility between the two is given importance.
  5. Grahamaitri (5 points) – the rulers of the birth Moon sign are considered here. If both are friends, enemies or neutral to each other. The mental compatibility, mutual interests and desires, also the genuine friendship and affection that develops between the two can be analysed from here.
  6. Gana (6 points) – The 27 nakshatras are divided into 3 categories depending on their essential natures, peaceful-spiritual, materialistic-fair and aggressive-demanding. The match has to consider these essential natures else there will be discord. This indicates temperament and the emotional response to a situation (also potential for violence).
  7. Rashi Bhakoot (7 points) – The moon sign of the boy is counted from the girl’s moon rashi. This defines the daily behaviour between the two, is their daily life with each other going to be peaceful or tense.
  8. Nadi (8 points) – The 27 nakshatras are again divided into 3 categories (Vaat, Pitta, Sleshma) depending on their physical health. The Nadi koot has been given the maximum points in this system because the health of the couple after they get married and the health of the children they will have depends on this. If their Nakshatras belong to different Nadis the score is outrightly 8, if belonging to the same Nadi it becomes 0.

Of course in the present times, ‘arranged marriages’ are being phased out slowly, even ‘love marriages’ are on the way out perhaps. Live-in relationships or flings are more fashionable now. But do remember that Marraige/Vivah is a Sanskar, not just a religious/legal/social ceremony. It is the foundation of our society as it provides care and protection to small children, to the aged parents and is the thread which binds us all in relationships, mom, dad, child, brother, sister, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, grandmom, grandad and the in-laws. Our lives are more richer because of these relationships of mutual love and all these are based on the foundation of marriage/vivah.

 

Matching Charts for marriage