In today’s superficial world we have lots of social ‘friends’ who ‘like’ us, ‘besties’ and ‘bff’s’, but then when we look around for that buddy when we really need someone, there is no one. Life time friendships and close friends are a thing of the past and most of us labour on through life without shoulder to cry on. And we too never attempt to really try to give our friends a boost when they need it. All of us are very busy in our lives and most best-friend-forever’s are the fair weather variety who disappear at the first hint of trouble.
Having no or very few genuine friends is a reality of our times. So let’s try to analyse our friends or the lack of them astrologically.
First to check out which sort of people do each of the houses bring into your life.
- The 1st house brings in people who are like your own self and are generally supportive. People who help in creating your personality and are a huge part of your environment.
- The 2nd house brings your family members closer to you, people you have known throughout your life. These people help you and your family grow and gain in several ways, its a close knit thing.
- The 3rd house is siblings, the neighbourhood, all those linked to you by a common purpose or a team with common skill sets. They support you only upto limited levels and later will become your competitors.
- Anyone you meet through your 4th house is a maternal figure in some way connected to your homeland and traditions. You are comfortable with these, but there is an undercurrent of need based love which can become suffocating later.
- The 5th house rarely brings friends, it is the house of self-referential genius. You prefer self-love here and do not allow friendly relationships to emerge from its depths.
- The 6th brings in people whom you owe service, money, debts, emotions, worry or work. No friends here, it is the breakdown of all amiable relationships.
- The 7th house is that one real best friend, the closest one-one relationship that you will have with one or rarely two people in your life. The one whom you instinctively yearn for. Someone whom you instantly know to be your own, a spouse or a platonic friend. You just know that he is your partner and friend for life.
- The 8th house is all those people you’d rather not meet. Harbingers of catastrophes and traumatic change. Your interactions in the 8th are are generally painful and thankfully short.
- The guides who support are brought in by the 9th house. Good people, peer and patrons but you wouldn’t be very comfortable partying with or sharing your innermost feelings here.
- The 10th is all sorts of fatherly figures, even the boss who teaches you how to conduct yourself in the office. They expect best behaviour and work from you. No friends here.
- Now the 11th house is your friend and it supports your like minded groups. All the interactions, the help that you may give or receive from people you would like to spend time with, go out with, enjoy with because you all are alike in some way or the other. It is the gain in terms of emotional support and the physical presence of having your friend around when you need him the most.
- And finally the 12th rarely brings in actual people as friends. It can allow entities or spiritual helpers during your mediative or dream states. Or people who can lead you astray, cause you losses or make you feel alone.
eg. Open your chart, note the sign placed in the 11th house. Note where its lord is placed. eg suppose it is Gemini, ruled by Mercury. And Mercury is placed in your 3rd house. So your ideal friend is the one who is more of a team-mate, someone with whom you can learn new things and later compete with.
So to have ‘friends’ as we understand it, the basic requirement is a strong 11th house supported by an auspicious 7th house. In case these two are working against you, then there are no real friends for you.
Here I am listing some possible combinations for friendlessness which indicate people whom you initially think to be your ‘friends’, but they will be inimical to you and your interests. If you think of anyone as your ‘friend’, the inherent imbalance will start affecting the relationship.
If these combinations exist in your birth Moon chart, then the effects will be seen on the emotional levels more than physical levels. Lack of emotional satisfaction and emotional suffering from your friends.
Malefics in the 11th house
Natural malefics – Wrote about the role of the natural malefics ie Sun, Mars, Saturn, Rahu and Ketu in the 11th house and your friendships in this post.Natural malefics in the 11th house do not grant genuine friendships.
If this planet is either your ascendant lord or a yogkarak for your chart, then he will always support you, not harm you. But the types of people he indicates will still enter your life posing as ‘friends’ with ulterior motives. But the difference is that you will be able to manage your ‘friend-circle’ so as to always gain from them. Especially so if this planet is powerful. But if this planet is debilitated, then be aware that your friends will try use your talents or cheat you in ways you do not expect and cause you harm.
- The 6th house and its lord. Any connect between the 6th and the 11th house does not give genuine friendships. You are required to be there for your friends and will lose money or get stressed because of them. People will briefly come in your life, take something from you and vanish forever. They will make you serve and suffer. You might lose your time, money, emotions or energy in these interactions. So be careful about people whom you meet especially in the course of your profession or in social settings, those who try to get close to you. Unhappiness is often a result.
- The 8th house and its lord. If there is a connect between these and the 11th house in any way, then your friendships will not prosper. There will be an initial fascination because of some common secrets, mysteriousness, occult interests etc. The initial spark will entice, but as time passes this will fade. Often explosive arguments or actual physical fights, after which the friendship ends. Suppressed rage issues are often a result.
- The 12th house and its lord. A connection between the 11th and the 12th house/lords means that you might meet people in isolated places, eg treks in remote areas, at retreats for meditation, in hospitals, or if the chart is bad then even in jails etc. You will be drawn to them because of undefinable reasons, pinning down the exact reason this person came close to you will not be easy. But eventually these people will cause losses in your life. You might take this in a philosophical vein but sorrow is often a result.
The power of the 11th lord. And if you have any planet in the 11th then analyse him too. If he is affected in any way he will not be able to provide you with life time friends. A simple interpretation would be something like this,
- debilitated planet – mean minded people will come into your life posing as friends. They will try to put you down, injure your self confidence, diminish your self ego, make use of your assets for their purposes, cheat you.
- combust planet – your ‘friends’ turn out to be selfish and self-centred. They expect praise and recognition form you but never notice the important things about you. No real interaction is possible with such self-referential egoistic people so the friendship will naturally be short lived.
- You can further check the power of the planet using Shadbala concepts and their interpretations. A planet with low power cannot give pleasing results.
- Especially check his Ishta Kashta phala, a planet with high Kashta phala will grant you friends who give you pain.
You can also cross check with the Ashtakvarga table.
- The score of the 11th house sign, should be more than 27 points in order to give favourable results.
- The score of the 11th lord in the sign he is placed in should be more than 4, for auspicious results.
- If you have a planet in the 11th house check his score for the sign he is placed in, ie your 11th house sign. This less than 4 will grant failure in friendships.
Use the Navamsha chart for checking the potential of the 11th house things. (detailed post on Navamsha analysis). Any connect with the Dusham sthan here can affect things.
- eg. Suppose your main birth chart 6th house is Virgo/Mercury so naturally the 11th house will be Aquarius/Saturn. In your navamsha chart, check if Saturn has been allocated to Virgo navamsha. Or Mercury is placed in Aquarius navamsha. If this is so, then your friends will seem very good on the face but will have a rotten core. They will hurt you and eventually exit from your life.
If your 11th house is very strong then this means that you will benefit from your friends. For this to happen your friend has to first have something which he can then give to you. So your own 11th energies will act as a catalyst on him and give him several benefits. On the subconscious levels it is expected that he will give them back to you, thus sustain that loop in a positive feedback situation. Now we will have to see his Dharma trikon, if this is strong then he will happily give it to you and the self-sustaining loop will continue. But if his Dharma trikon is afflicted, he will not be able to hold up his part of the subconscious bargain and you will not get the benefit that your 11th house has created in him, to give to you. And the loop will sense a negative feedback and the friendship will be severed. This is a rather convoluted logic but this is the way it works.
A strong 11th house will not allow a sneaky person to enter your life as a friend. So if you are having issues with ‘friends’ it is your 11th house that needs to be addressed. Ultimately you are responsible for what is happening to you and there are several ways to resolve these negative patterns.
Everything that happens in our lives is for a reason, basically karma. It is possible that you do not understand astrology much, but even then, reading these posts will be helpful. Knowing that the reason your bosom friend kicked you in the ass had something to do with 6th house or something like that and was not your fault per se, can help bring acceptance and closure.