Tensions in relationships, astrologically

There are some periods when you and your wife is going to really be best buddies and you two will have loads of fun together, made for each other types. And then those times when both of you will be so irritated with each other. Nothing will be right and both of you will be in despair.astrologyTime is everything. If the planetary positions in transit and in Dasha are good to you, you will receive appreciation, love and respect. There will be enjoyable moments which will boost your ego, sense of worth and validation. Your loved one will be with you. Your boss will be happy with your work, your mom happy with your choice of wife, dad proud of your your social position. Your children will actually listen to you, your wife will kiss you, your husband will remember your birthday and you will get gifts. These are times spent with friends and parties. You gain in business and expand your profits. Materially you feel creative and may be blessed with children.

And then you have those periods/Vimshottari dasha of the planetary owners of the houses of turmoil, dushamsthan, 6th, 8th and 12th. The theme of these planetary periods will be a sense of general invalidation, un-love and unworthiness which will result in pain.

As always you have to see the physical manifested reality from the birth chart D-1, emotional context from the birth moon sign and the astral/sub-conscious expectations and potential from the divisional chart D-9, Navamsha. For example Ketu may be placed in the 3rd house from ascendant and 2nd when counted from the birth Moon sign in the D-1 birth chart. And placed in the 7th house in the D-9. So in Ketu’s periods, there will be a physical detachment from cousins, team-mates, trade, communication. This will be felt emotionally as a dissociation from the family resources and interactions. And the astral expectation will be a break in legal contracts and separation in partnerships. So now how you interpret it will depend on the client’s entire chart.

Now to narrow down those planetary periods which can create tensions in marriage. These planets in their periods and sub-periods even sub-sub periods can create a break in the feeling of being ‘loved’ and ‘valued’ by your loved one. If your horoscopes have been matched before marriage these periods will be less intense but no one can escape tiffs in married life.

  1. Open your birth chart, and note the owner of the 12th house.
    • The 12th house when counted from the 7th house is sixth. Sixth from any house is an expression of ‘breaking of partnerships’, ‘unfair alliances’, ‘breakdown of bargains’, ‘accusations’, ‘invalidation’, ‘arguments’ and ‘un-appreciation’ of the matters related to this house.
    • The 12th house counted from the 1st house/ascendant sign is naturally twelfth, indicating a loss in the manifested physical self, confidence, strength, social status etc.
    • So the 12th house lord in his periods will cause tensions in your personal and professional partnerships. Depending on the other factors it can cause permanent breaks, followed by depression, sleeplessness and losses to health, social status, etc which are indicated by the 12th house normally.
  2. Now note the planetary owner of the 6th house counted from the ascendant sign
    • The 6th house is breakage of legal witnessed contracts as always.
    • And this 6th house from the ascendant is twelfth when counted from the 7th house. The 12th house from anywhere represents the losses of whatever is indicated by that house
    • So the 6th house lord will represent the loss of the partnership. Depending on the power of this planet he can pull you upto divorce and dissolution of the alliance.
  3. Now the planet owning the 2nd house from the ascendant sign.
    • It represents the family lineage, treasures, family wealth and all sort of resources available to you.
    • But it also represents the 2nd spouse.
    • And it is the eighth house when counted from the 7th house. The 8th counted from any house defines the sudden, forced, fast and chaotic transformations associated with that house. When the house we are concerned about is the 7th, the 2nd lord can create changes in the ‘love’, ‘value’ felt in the marriage. Then 8th is also secret stuff, so there will be loss of transparency in the relationship perhaps secret affairs. The ‘worthiness’ felt in the lawful marriage may change into a ‘validation’ and ‘love’ experience from the secret paramour.
    • So this planet too has the potential to create tensions in your married life during his planetary periods.

astrologySo now you know what is possibly going wrong in marriage and why. But this is not what we are after, we want to fix things. So this how you get through this period of tensions. Divorce though legal and accepted does not really work on the emotional and spiritual levels. This should be the very last option. Things always change. If you can get through this bad patch, which you soon will as your planetary period changes, you might regret the dissolution. So what can you do to reduce tensions and use this period productively? Shift your focus on something else?

So check the quality of the horoscope. Some of us can survive in a marriage with the barest minimum of ‘love’ expressions. If the Ascendant lord and the Moon are powerful enough such a person can manage on his sense of self-worth and self-love. He won’t need expressions of ‘appreciation’ from his wife. But if these 2 important planets are not able to generate enough self-love it can get quite tricky. In such cases there may be support from the other planets who can compensate by providing validation through the aspects of life that they control.

Check out who can help. The siblings, friends, team-mates, office-mates and your positive thought processes – Mercury. The society, boss, knowing you are doing a good job in the social and professional field – Saturn. The self-ego, the children, taking up higher education and knowing you are creative and confident – Sun. Getting to know yourself and knowing that you are doing your spiritual practice regularly – Venus. Your philosophy, kindness and a sense of humanity which you have nourished by reading books and learning more and more – Jupiter. A sense of detachment which Ketu can confer. And finally a new ambition and new direction in life which Rahu can supply.

There is a time when you need to sit down and talk through things and there is also a time where you have remain silent and let events unfold. You are not defined just by your relationship with your loved one. There is so much more to you. Let the relationship take a back seat and focus on other aspects of life for a while. You will get the appreciation you deserve, always!

No one goes anywhere, least of all your loved one. Times always change, and there is always going to be a Time.

 

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