Vivah Sanskar as per Vedic Astrology – Part 1

In Vedic/Sanatan Dharm/Hinduism marriage is called Vivah and is a Sanskar. It means that this is compulsory for a man and a woman to undergo this Vivah-Sanskar and thus enter the Gruhast-ashram stage of life. There are 16 Sanskars in life.

  • Vivah is a ‘force which is used to bear/carry’. It is not just a ‘marriage’.
  • Sanskar is ‘accomplishment, refinement, culture, foundation, purification, formation, creation, making ready, creation of the mind/mental processes, education’ etc. Sanskar does not mean just a ‘ritual’.

fire4.jpgThere are 4 stages of the Vedic/Sanatan Dharm/Hindu life.

  1. Balya-ashram – The childhood phase where you are taken care of by your parents, family, neighbourhood and the society. During this period from the age of 6yrs you learn basic schooling and the foundations of your life’s philosophy from your teachers. After you cross 16yrs of age you start learning your business/profession from your peers and senior family members.
  2. Gruhasta-ashram – The married life where you are the active Karta/doer of the family. Vivah is the Sanskar which brings you into this phase of life. It is ideal to get married before or around 25yrs of age. Everyone has to get married and contribute to the society in different ways. Also produce children, teach them, as they are going to be a part of the society in a few years. All 4 aspects of life Dharma, Artha, Kaam and Moksh are linked to a successful gruhast phase. The only people exempt from this phase are those who take Sanyas and thus leave their Family and Society forever.
  3. Vanprastha-ashram – At around 51yrs of age is the gradual withdrawal from the society coupled with passing on the baton of Karta/doer-ship to your children. This phase starts with you ensuring your children’s Vivah Sanskar when they are around 25yrs of age.
  4. Sanyasa-ashram – At the age of about 76yrs you completely withdraw from the society and family concerns and concentrate only on your spiritual path and practice. Your children are also in their 45-50yrs of age on the verge of their Vanprasthashram age and your grandchildren are on the verge of becoming Gruhast themselves.

In Vedic/Sanatan Dharm/Hinduism, in all astrology texts from Parashar to Jaimini etc and all the the Indian systems of astrology Vedic, KP etc, refer to marriage as between a man and a woman. In a Vivah the husband and wife are called Dharmapati and Dharmapatni. These are again Sanskrit words so have several layers of meanings.

  • Dharma – knowing, justice, virtue, right, religion, establishment law, practice, merit, steadfastness, observation, property, propriety, duty, ethics, use, to-become, good works, devotion, character, morality, arrangement, support etc. This in short is the foundation of your life, from the physical environments to the spiritual principles.
  • Pati – Is the one who is – honor of, responsible to, going with, owner of, possessor of, protector of, ruler of, male spouse of – Dharma. He is always called Dharmapati.
  • Patni – Is the one who is – female spouse of, owner of, mistress of, ruler of, protector of, being with – Dharma. She is always called Dharmapatni.

marraige9.jpgVivah is the main phase of life which supports the other three, the young, the retired and the aged. The man and woman who marry each other are required not only to look after their personal family and their children but also protect the larger interests of the society. It is a very serious commitment as the witness of this Sanskar is the Sun/Agni/Internal Sun. There is no word for divorce in Sanskrit. And if you can see auras, then it is a delight to see the two auras interacting so deeply during the Vivah ceremony, the astral selves/Jeevatmas also accept this Sanskar. The two allow it because of their Intention and Will which are reinforced by the MantrasWomen are more suitable for micro-managing and men for marco-managing. Both the woman and the man are required to contribute to the family. And families contribute to the society.

Marriage is arranged between a man and a woman depending on several factors, social to astrological. The most important one is the gotra, a person can marry only into a family whose gotra is different from his/her father’s, mother’s, maternal grandmother’s and maternal great-grandmother’s gotra. This ensures healthy progeny in every way. The astrological basis of matching charts is detailed in this post here. Maybe readers from other Non-Vedic cultures may find this strange, but we follow these rules so as to maintain a happy and healthy husband-wife relationship, healthy children and positive contribution to the family and society. Marriage is just not a personal private affair, it has social, cultural and spiritual ramifications too. (It is especially important in the spiritual sense that unmarried men/women, or widowers/widows cannot do important pujas. Only Sanyasis and persons with a living husband/wife can perform them.)

If you get a chart for analysing the marriage prospects these are the few basic houses you should analyse, have written about this in details in my previous posts on analysing marriage. But briefly.

  1. The 7th house in the birth chart for the manifested real life. Also its owner planet.
  2. The 7th house from the birth moon for the emotions, stability, comfort and security expected from the marriage.
  3. The navamsha, divisional chart 9, D-9 for the sub-conscious expectations regarding marriage and the ‘mirror’ you expect in life.
    • The 7th house and the placement of the 7th lord in this D-9.
    • The placement of the 7th house sign and lord from D-1 seen in D-9.
  4. Jupiter and Venus in the charts, both D-1 and D-9 and from the birth moon sign
  5. Other details like Manglik or multiple spouses etc which I have mentioned earlier.

marraige4.jpgUltimately why do we marry? If we think deeply, we are all looking for our mirror, the one who has the missing pieces of our life. Now just close your eyes and ask yourself what kind of a wife/husband you want? What do you feel about your desired spouse? Be true to yourself, know that only your own Conscience is judging you. This is your private feeling. And then read this following list.

  1. Sun – You want someone glorious, regal, rich and creative, with lots of money, fame and position. You want to marry a king or a popular cine-star.
  2. Moon – you will feel that you need emotional comfort, protection and comfort and shelter. Someone who will tuck you in bed sort of maternal support.
  3. Venus – you are attracted to the surface, beauty, looks and soft sensual pleasures. A very handsome/beautiful husband/wife who will give you undivided attention.
  4. Mars – you are interested in a physically strong, bold, competitive and the rougher more physical pleasures. You might like your spouse to go with you to drinking contests, to the stadium, or a hike or for jogging daily in the park.
  5. Mercury – you want someone rich, interesting, youthful and intelligent. You would love having long chats and read interesting books with your spouse. Your spouse is your best friend.
  6. Saturn – will make you focus on the social image, the necessity of marriage, you think of marriage as a a work you have to do. Even after getting the spouse you want you will be more engaged in the social aspects of the Vivah union.
  7. Jupiter – you want someone more mature than you, older perhaps, and who will take care of you in a more paternal expansive way. Someone who will teach you and guide you, help you make sense of this world and life.
  8. Rahu – someone like the stars, unattainable from your current situation in life. It will be a constant craving for someone much higher than you in terms of social mobility and privileges . ‘Everyone wants him/her so I want too, and I will do anything to get him/her.’
  9. Ketu – you are not really into marriage so much. If your family and society are after you, you might just drift into marriage without much sense of attachment. Or you might in a flash of extreme dissociation just take Sanyas and leave the society for ever.

Now look back into your childhood, all the memories you have buried in your sub-conscious. Did you feel your mother wasn’t around? Or your dad was not available? You had no brothers/siblings to play with in your house? You had no friends to play with in the neighbourhood? Didn’t get pocket money or were poor? Wanted to learn in school but were unable to understand your teacher? Was left out of popular activities? Felt that your family’s social status was a liability? You have felt that you are nothing yourself but felt that there is something bigger at the edge of your awareness? Do these deep feelings relate in any way with how you feel about your ideal partner?

These emotional unmet needs from your childhood are often caused by very subtle or one-off events. A random unkind word or act hit you with more force that it should have. Your astral self registered it. If your conscious self had noticed it you would have taken active steps to fulfil this need. But the impact on the astral can be so deep that you feel this part of you is lost and you search for it in your spouse, your mirror! Sometimes guided mediation helps in bringing out answers from your sub-conscious in a very gentle way.

Some of life’s events and questions are just so very deep. One can just hope that with time and experience we will find the answers and solutions. We need to understand that every relationship especially that of Vivah/’marriage’ brings us face to face with our deepest emotional unmet needs. And the sooner we understand, the better we can resolve it and move towards understanding our own self, our Real Self. Else everything is between ourselves and our conscience.

This post will be in 2 parts. Link to part 2 here.

 

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Vivah Sanskar as per Vedic Astrology Part 2

This post is a continuation to the part 1 linked here.

These 2 posts are in response to this comment I received in the Contact form. {“Hello astrologer by default! I am an astrologer myself and so much to learn from your blog which I randomly found… Recently been receiving a lot of requests about same-sex relations in my practice. How do you spot the same in the chart? What does Hinduism have to say? Can it be judged from birthchart or divisional charts?”} marraige8.jpgNow for those charts who do not follow the Vedic definition of Vivah there are certain pointers. This does not happen much in India, but here is a logical answer based on Vedic astrology principles. As this question relates to a person’s very personal psychology you need to analyse things in detail before coming to a conclusion. The positions from the birth chart D-1 will indicate the manifested reality. Counting from the birth moon sign will give the emotional context and the Navamsha, 9th Divisional chart D-9 will give an insight into the astral/sub-conscious expectations.

  1. The Ascendant and Ascendant lord. There is a deviation from the Dharma of the biological sex which the client him/herself had chosen at birth. So there will be discomfort and malefic influences here. The personality and its environment are at odds and in extreme unease.
    • In a female nativity, the ascendant sign or ascendant lord being under the effect of neuter or masculine planets. In male nativities the same being under the influence of female/neuter planets.
    • Malefic planets placed here or aspecting, especially the influences on the Ascendant lord.
    • Ascendant lord being placed in 6th, 8th, 12th houses will also tend towards secret diseases, shorter life-spans and several secret losses in life.
    • The power of the ascendant lord to give benefic results is very important. Where is he placed and is he comfortable? Is he in the sign of a friend/neutral/enemy planet, is he exalted/debilitated, or combust, or retrograde, or conjoint or aspected by malefics/benefics etc. Can you expect it to give its results completely or not? Has it matured etc. Do check this out carefully.
  2. The emotional context is also conflicted. The client had chosen his biological sex at birth, thus the mirror sex too at birth. Some event occurred somewhere which caused a change in the way ‘gender’ was felt later. Then the answers must come from the astral/sub-conscious realm too. So analyse the Moon, the sign he is placed in and the planets conjoint and aspects. Dissociative and malefic influences should predominate.
  3. The 5th house – This is the house of creativity and higher education and also represents selfish passions, lust and self-referential behaviours.
    • The natural ruler of the 5th house is the Sun (Leo being the natural 5th house of the Zodiac). The Royal one is often not bothered with rules, equitable alliances and considers himself above the society.
    • Malefic influences on the 5th house will turn the chart away from socially accepted spousal relationships.
    • Check the position of the 5th house and its owner’s placements too.
    • 5th house represents children too, obviously denial of naturally conceived children will be indicated here.
  4. The 7th house is true alliances and legal partnerships which are recognised by the society and also the soul.
    • the 7th house represents Vivah. In such charts the 7th house will be under malefic influences which will deny marriage. Check out the aspects on the 7th house and the placement of the 7th lord.
    • Venus will also not be very comfortable wherever he may be. He always has a subtle influence on the legally accepted and witnessed alliances of the 7th.
  5. The 8th house for hormonal issues and oddities related to the reproductive organs. Also analyse the owner of the 8th house. Mars as always with his subtle influence will be a factor.
  6. The 9th house is the Dharmasthan. The ancestors are seen from here. Do you have permission from them to carry forward their DNA? Check out the owner of this house and also Jupiter with his subtle influence on the matters of the 9th house.
  7. Finally the 12th house will show some irregularities regarding sexual activity.

marraige6Wherever there is breaking of rules and taboos you will have Rahu. He will flaunt himself, until he loses control and falls. Saturn to some extent can control Rahu’s society-disruptive behaviour. Sun, if decides to turn bad, will be selfish, the rock-star bad boy, and will break rules. Such a Sun will develop a strange above-the-masses type of ego, not be bothered with societal norms. Moon if scared of losing emotional security, under Saturn’s influence or debilitation or goaded by Mars will seek comfort in which ever way makes sense to him. Now if there is support from other planets, this Moon can seek comfort in breaking the rules. Mercury in his childishness or peer pressure may experiment in college and with friends. Venus if debilitated may decide to seek pleasure in the off-the-beaten-track. Ketu is headless and if gets in the driver’s seat on relationships you really dont know what all he can get into! But the gist is, look into vulnerable planets and houses which are responsible for mental and emotional security. Relationships and intimate pleasures.

I hope these posts have been of some use for you. However as you are required to respond to questions and counsel people on their relationships with their partners, I would suggest using Cards, both Cartomancy or Tarot give very good answers. Or Runes. These divination systems give on the spot and amazingly accurate answers. And if you ask questions like, ‘What can be done to make this situation better?’ you will be able to counsel regarding the best possible line of action. But if you want to use Astrology, consider focussing on the 5th house rather than the 7th house as an indicator of such partnerships. You can also use Prashna rather than a full blown astrological chart analysis if there is only a single pressing question.

So now for those who reject the Vivah Sanskar, do search into the childhood memories of the male and female relatives you were in contact with. Evaluate especially your deepest feelings related to your mother and father (and grandad/grandmom if they lived with you.) Why did you choose to reject your birth choice of biological sex, male/female and the associated biological sex mirror image? Why did you change your definition of ‘gender’?. ‘Sex’ is a reality it is biological, ‘gender’ is a concept, an idea. You cannot change your sex, it is either XX or XY but you can change your gender. Why did you choose to search for a person of the same sex and the same/opposite gender as yours, in your search to fill your blanks? There is no right or wrong but you need to know why? Even if you fail a school paper you want to know why!

Even for those who are in abusive and chaotic marriages, do this bit of introspection. Why? The spouse is behaving the way you want him/her to behave in your deepest subconscious.  Why have you held such damaging beliefs so tightly in your depths? You are experiencing your own beliefs, fears, expectations and karmic baggage through your spouse. Marriage amplifies all of our feelings about our own self. We receive our deepest Karmic lessons from those closest to us. We love someone, means we wish him/her the deepest happiness. We expect the same love from him/her. In short we expect validation. But validation from another human will always be erratic and uncertain. All relationships will have their periods of tensions and problems, one cannot expect a complete merging with another human. Even in the closest relationships there exists an infinite distance.

So understand that you have to love yourself too, wish yourself the deepest happiness. That is the way you will ultimately realise the consciousness in your own self and the real source of happiness.

There is no right or wrong. Each one chooses their path and then accepts the consequences of the choice.

 

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